Most lies are eventually exposed, and when they are, it can be a whirlwind for all involved.
Not great at explaining things so bear with me I guess. So about three years ago my (15F) older sister (17F) Leah’s (fake name) personality basically did a 180 over night, she went from being the sweet reliable big sis to kinda snappy and closed off? Stopped doing chores would get an attitude if anyone reminded her, spent all day in her room you get the point.
I was 12 at the time so I was just like ‘why is she acting like that?’ And my brother (21m) was moved out and busy with school and what not. In the beginning my parents chocked it up to teenage girl hormones which was also technically part of the issue but also one night she just came out of her room crying and told us she is bis*xual.
My parents were extremely supportive of this so was my brother because he’s gay, I wasn’t educated on this kind of stuff at the time so I didn’t get until my parents explained it to me and why it was such a big deal to her and i was just like ‘cool good for you sis👍’.
So anyways her behavior got better after that and she was being nice to us again she didn’t hang out with me as much which is like what teenage girl wants to be around there little sister lol. So fast forward three years later me and my sister are really close again or at least I thought we were. One thing I’ve noticed same with my parents is that her friends started acting very weird towards us.
Like they wouldn’t talk to us when they came over (if they did) or would occasionally make back handed remarks or roll their eyes when we spoke. It was weird but again this was only when they came over which was rarely, so me and my parents kinda just brushed them off like ‘whatever they don’t have to like us’ I just found out why they act like this. Probably like an hour ago Idk?
I was peacefully binge watching an anime when my phone started buzzing like crazy, when I checked I was added into a group chat on ig by her friends, in this group chat they were basically bashing me for being a horrible person. They were calling me homophobic, a spoiled brat, terrible sister, golden child, home wrecker?
Kept telling me I need to apologize to my sister for AB*SING HER so obviously I’m confused. When I expressed my confusion to them they told me to stop acting dumb and innocent, later the they realized I was being serious and genuinely did not know what they were talking about. That’s when they sent me a bunch of screenshots between them and my sister.
To sum things up my sister has fed her friends a very wild story about her life and how we treat her.
• Our parents are extremely homophobic and are kicking her out at 18 because of her s*xuality.
• When she came out I quickly became the ‘favorite child’ I’m spoiled and get everything I want and because of this I treat her badly for fun?
• I hit her, steal/break her things, verbally ab*se her and call her homophobic slurs, not only do my parents allow it they encourage it.
• She’s forced to do all of the chores and cooking in the house including cleaning my room (this girl does not know how to cook😂)
• Lied about other stuff like having autism and me making fun of her for it which is crazy because I’m the one with autism.
There's so much more the screen shots go back like two years so she’s been telling them this s#$t for close to three f#$king years, I asked them why it’s taken them this long to confront me they said she begged them not to confront or talk to us about it because apparently it will ‘make things worse for her’ and her plan was just to go NC with us once she’s 18.
But they couldn’t hold back this time because the most recent thing she told them was that apparently I found out about the guy she likes/is talking too and immediately found his social media and started texting him now he won’t talk to her. so not the ab*sing but this was the straw that broke the camels back for them? Lmao.
I debunked as much as I could, sent them pics from pride festivals we went to with her, sent them pics of us (we take a lot together) sent them pics of my brother with his boyfriend. They were pissed but I asked them not to do anything until I figure out how to deal with it because apparently my sister is the ab*sed black sheep of the family, they agreed.
The convo about me stealing the boy she likes happened a few hours ago I checked on my sister and she was peacefully sleeping so she doesn’t know about the groupchat. As for me? I’m having many emotions about this shocked, hurt, angry it feels like a huge slap in the face. I don’t know how to go about this I don’t even know why she’s doing it, for attention? Idk. Reddit what should I do?
TL;DR: sister has been lying for years about my family being ab*sive and homophobic, just found out, confused on what I should do please help.
queenlegolas wrote:
Is it possible she found her coming out to you guys as anti climactic and felt the need to create her own narrative or something? Wouldn't be the first time I've read about someone doing something like this. I read another post of this woman smearing against her parents about blogging about how horribly she was treated and her parents got wind of it and exposed her, she got in trouble for that.
She was an adult too. I suggest inviting all the friends and the parents and confront her together so she doesn't continuously change her narrative. It might feel like ganging up on her but this is how you catch her in her lies. She's almost 18, she could leave soon and destroy your family's reputation.
She's already doing that but she could like, lie about all that in her college applications and other stuff. Have your parents contact her therapist to update on what she's been up to.
OP responded:
I honestly have no clue. I wrote in another comment that reading the msgs from the screenshots her friends sent me i couldn’t even recognize her, she sounds like another person in these texts that i thought her friends were just fabricating it. At home she’s completely normal doesn’t lie, sweet as always, mature you get the idea? Can you send me a link to that post pls? :)
I_own_a_shovel wrote:
I don't really have any advice, except: Take screenshot of the conversation you had with their friends in case it disappear. Could be a good backup if she tries to manipulate your brother or parents against you some day.
obliviouscryptograph wrote:
Go to your parents immediately. There's something going on with your sister and you need trusted adults to figure it out. Don't do it on your own.
OP responded:
That’s my thought process too, I just really want some ideas as to why my sister or anyone would do this, and for so long?
First off I want to thank everyone for advice, you all helped me get my thoughts in order so I really appreciate that. So now for the update, I talked to my parents and it went kinda how I expected? Kinda not. But I went with the obvious advice ya’ll gave me and took screenshots of everything including the msgs from the last night gc.
My dad gets home earlier then my mom and my sister has a part time job so I spoke to my dad first. Obviously he was furious, shocked, hurt. It was hard watching it happen since I love my dad. He also apologized a lot as I’m the one who had to find this out and sit him down.
Anyway, mom got home and my dad wanted to talk to her alone so I went in my room, this is the unexpected part. I heard my parents arguing a lot and I’ll skip the details but I later found out that mom knew abt Leah’s lies. She found out abt 5 months ago and didn’t tell my dad. I don’t know the details but apparently she made my sister promise not to do it anymore and just trusted that she wouldn’t? Lmao.
Safe to say my dad was pissed. Leah got home and things got worse, more screaming (from Leah) it was hard not to hear bc I was literally in the house but my dad said that Leah was punching and scratching her legs threatening to k*ll herself, also screaming that she was going to k*ll me. So I was kinda scared to leave my room, literally never heard my sister scream like that before.
My dad was already mad that my mom went behind his back and kept him out of something that involves his child, my mom defended herself saying that she was just protecting Leah and that she’s just a kid. But my dad is smart enough to realize that Leah is clearly not mentally well and said she needed to be put in a MH. (A lot of you said the same)
From what I heard and what my dad told me my mom begged him not to, but dad was already pissed abt what she did so he threatened to leave her if she didn’t comply. There was more arguing but eventually they did drive her to the hospital and obviously I haven’t seen her.
Me and my dad are now at my grandparents (dads side) and he is not currently speaking to my mom but he did tell her that if she tries to take Leah out then she is ending their marriage. I also spoke to my brother and obviously he was hurt but concerned for our sis so there’s that.
My dad and I have talked a lot, good talks, he apologized to me for everything going on but it’s not his fault so there’s nothing to forgive if anything I feel more bad abt the situation but me and my dad are good.
I’m not sure exactly where my parents relationship stands right now but dad told me not to worry abt adult stuff and to just focus on being a kid and going to school so that’s what I’m gonna try and do. But that’s basically everything for now I will update if anything else happens. Thank you again Reddit! ❤️
TL;DR: spoke to dad his reaction was expected, mom knew abt everything for months and didn’t tell dad. Sister is now in a MH, dad and I are staying at grandparents.
beaksey-85 wrote:
You were so brave and I’m so happy you told your parents. It’s wonderful that your dad has you and your sister's back. Your mum seems scared and obviously ill equipped to handle the gravity of your sister’s symptoms. Your dad’s right though, he’s got this. You’re safe and loved. It takes work but now that your sisters actions and symptoms are in the open. You all can start to heal.
By telling your dad, you started the healing journey! That’s huge and an amazing thing. For some reassurance regarding your sister: 7 years ago my sis had several psychotic breaks. It was a combo of drugs, complex trauma, later diagnosed BPD so a different situation but it did result in her threatening to k*ll me (and she wanted to) as she was taken to the MH. It was scary.
After her doing a s**t ton of work, therapy, taking her meds etc, she is leveled, honest and a just a little weird. We have a strong and very honest relationship.
OP responded:
I didn’t mention this in either of my posts because I didn’t think it was relevant but now it kinda is? An issue with my mom is that ever since Leah came out she does kinda coddle her and make excuses for her sh#$ty behavior like example “why is Leah being kinda rude today?” Mom: “oh well I’m sorry she’s just young and trying to navigate her s*xuality as a young teenager, and and and-“ you get it? lol.
KobilD wrote:
Wait during her freakout did your sister at an point try to EXPLAIN WHY she did that? I mean I have a pretty good idea why, but I wanna hear what she had to say. Also PLEASE stick with your dad.
OP responded:
She didn’t explain no. At first dad said she was lying, she said her friends were trying to get her in trouble, then she said I was trying to get her in trouble but dad wasn’t having it. She tried making excuses but in the end i didn’t find out the reason from her.
Dyain14124 wrote:
It's probably a good idea to limit her internet access for a bit after she gets out, or stleast to moniter it a lot. there's a chance she might start spreading lies on there, too, if she's given the chance right after coming back. Also, I know you said that your father isn't going to go for divorce yet. But please tell him to still gather evidence now of what your mom did just in case.
Theoretically, if it does come to divorce, if your sister ends up in sole or majority custody of your mother, I'm willing to bet that she's going to keep enabling your sister. Since your mom did already, your sister would probably ask to be with her (at your ages, courts usually let teens decide who to be with).
Your father would have to prove why that would be bad. Just based off my experiences going through a sh#$t ton of custody battles when i was younger between my parents.
OP responded:
Yeah my dad has already said that he will do everything to help my sister get better but she’s not getting a pass because of her mental issues, she still chose to do something awful and continued doing it for three years.
She’s not going to have to same privileges she had when she gets out, no phone or other entertainment devices for a while and no hanging with friends outside of school (not that she has anymore).
The point is, if I didn’t find out when I did something very catastrophic could’ve happened (like getting cps called on them) or worse, dad said that Leah needs to understand that as much as good behavior gets rewarded, bad actions have bad consequences.
As for my parents, I still have no idea. They did end up speaking on the phone earlier but it was pretty short. All I know right now is that dad doesn’t trust mom and thinks she might be hiding other stuff and he definitely wants to get marriage counseling, and possibly family therapy for all of us.
Tiggie200 wrote:
You did the right thing. I'm proud of you. It's not easy breaking bad news, but your Father is right. Nothing that happens between your parents is yours, or even your sisters fault. Your Mum should have disclosed what she knew to her husband, and they should have spoken to your sister about it when she found out 5 months ago. Whatever happens between your parents is not your fault.
I feel that that's important to reinforce. You have a great father, and he is right in taking Leah to the Mental Health Hospital to get her the help she obviously needs. I hope that your sister will eventually realise that this is an important step to her health.
Stitch426 wrote:
It’s odd that your mother thinks that telling a liar to stop lying would work. Your sister was never held accountable back then with any sort of discipline, needing to apologize, needing to set the record straight, etc. She didn’t have any positive reinforcement to turn over a new leaf. She had no check ins for if the underlying reasons for the lies were getting resolved.
She didn’t give you and and your father a chance to get on the same page with your sister and talk things out. So in essence, no healing was done on the individual level or as a family. Did she think these lies would never come to light?
For all your mom knew, these lies were spreading beyond your sister’s friends and could have led to vandalism, threats of violence, CPS and police calls, and people being ousted from their social circles. People have lost their jobs and their lives because of rumors. She was taking a big risk to sweep it all under the rug.
As we see with the evolution of the lies, I hope your mother will one day realize the lies were only going to keep changing and potentially get worse. If she wanted to claim ab*se, it’s not far fetched that she’d also claim attempted m*rder and other serious cr*mes.
OP responded:
I have a theory as to why. Unfortunately my mom has always been the person to run or turn away from difficult situations. I think that in my mom's heart she knew she needed to do something about it but at the same time my sister is her sweet angel and my mom just didn’t wanna face the possibility that Leah is anything other than her sweet angel so she ignored it and forgot it happened.
hippo_canoe wrote:
Your dad sounds like a solid dude. The kind of man who would give his everything, and more, for his kids. He's not perfect, and he's going to make mistakes. Regardless of that, I would encourage you stay open and honest with him. Stay close. Give him a chance to share a bit of his trouble with you. NOT so you can carry them, but so he doesn't have to be a walking pressure cooker.
Tell him that you love him. Buy him a coffee, or a donut, or some beef jerky, or make him a damn card out of noodles. You will never regret having someone like that whom you can trust and rely on, and no one can really do it like a dad.
PS I'm a dad of 3 adult kids.
OP responded:
Thank you for saying that. I love my dad he’s my best friend and I wish I could give him the world, me and my brother were planning on doing something nice for him, taking him to dinner or a movie to cheer him up. Something like that lol.
Hey guys it’s been a minute but I have another update if ya’ll are still interested, also thanks again for the sweet comments it means more than you know:). I’ll start with some positive stuff first, I got to see my brother and his bf! They took me and my dad to the movies and out to dinner it was really fun, it took my mind off things. New years was really fun I spent it with my dads side of the family.
I haven’t shared too much details with friends because this is a family matter but from what they know they’ve been super supportive and sweet.
Now onto other stuff. Leah was supposed to get out on the 1st but that didn’t end up happening, she did get out on the 5th and is at home with our mom.
(Again, I repeat I don’t know how all that stuff works) I had a conversation with my dad about not feeling comfortable going home and being around my sister and mom just yet and he was very understanding but he did have to go back for obvious reasons and my grandparents were more than pleased to keep me there lol.
About my sister, from what I know her first day out she didn’t talk to anyone and basically just slept the rest of the day, second day was a little rough she wasn’t happy about not getting her phone back or having some privileges taken from her, my mom tried to fight with my dad about it but basically gave up as she’s still in hot water with him.
When mom found out I wasn’t coming home right away, and wasn’t really open to talking to Leah about the situation yet she got pretty upset and sent me a message. She basically said that I can’t be mad at Leah because she’s not well and needs all the support she can get right now and apparently she’s in distraught that I don’t wanna talk to her and I’m making things worse.
Okay literally never cared less.
Leah does have depression/anxiety, I don’t know anymore than that other than she is being medicated, I’m pretty sure my dad did talk to my sisters therapist to update her on the situation.
My dad did go through my sisters phone and it wasn’t cute…he found a gc where my sister and her friends would basically harass this girl from their school, reason? No clue. Not just for that situation but for the whole situation in general my dad did have to find the numbers of Leah’s friends parents and let them know of what’s been going on.
I have no clue what’s happening with them but it’s none of my business. Leah did admit that the lying was for attention and false sympathy and she never meant for it to go this far, not sure if I believe that entirely. I don’t think I need it but my dad also wants to put me in therapy so I’m just going with it lol. Big issue right now, my mom continues to coddle and enable my sister.
My sister knows this too so she hasn’t been going to my dad about anything because she knows that he is going to actually parent her. My mom will “try” to stand her ground with Leah but then the water works start and blah blah blah, it’s annoying and it’s making my dad upset. It’s the fact my sister knows she can get my mom to do what she wants, it’s manipulative and gross.
I have gone back to school and Leah is coming back soon, I’m worried for when that happens. A lot of you said she might try and spin some story with teachers or counselors, but also as of right now my sister is essentially friendless and I’m not gonna talk to her at school either, I mean it is the consequences of her own actions but I can’t help but pity her.
I just don’t want her loser ex friends to come up and be AHs to her. At the end of the day I think that inevitably there will be a meeting with Leah, my parents, ex friends and their parents, and the girl that Leah and her friends harassed. I already said this in a comment but I’m gonna say it here too, regardless of what ya’ll think I do not plan on forgiving or speaking to my sister anytime soon lol.
She does not get a pass because her mental health is s**t, she still actively chose to do something disgusting and continued to do that for three years. She did not just make up lies about how I treat her, her and her loser squad would actively make fun of/ and bash my character any chance they got.
(Looks, hobbies, interests) was all bashed. I would never let someone speak about my sister they way she let them speak about me. I love her and genuinely hope she gets better but I don’t have to like her, my mom can think I’m a brat, and my sister can cry about it as much as she wants I don’t care, it’s going to take a loooong time for me to trust her again.
It honestly terrifies me to the core how insanely two faced a person can be, literally baffles me. Main issue right now. Mom and dad. My dad wanted to fight for their marriage he really did, looked into marriage counseling and IC immediately.
But after more talking/arguing about my sister, my mom lying and continuing with her bs my dad ended up finding something very disgusting that my mom has been hiding from him that has left him heartbroken. I’d rather not get into it but I’m sure ya’ll have some ideas, I’m still letting all of this process.
So no, my dad does not plan on continuing with my mother. Things are a little tough right now, my dad can’t exactly just leave our house, mainly because my sister refuses to leave my mom and understandably my dad doesn’t want to leave Leah alone with her, so he’s staying just until some legal stuff is sorted out and I don’t plan on going back anytime soon.
That’s basically it for now, idk if I’ll update again we’ll just have to wait and see. I love my dad so much he’s my best friend so I’m just gonna try my best to cheer him up and be a good kid during these times.
Thanks again for all the support, ya’ll are great❤️.
TL;DR: Sis got out of MH later than expected, has depression/anxiety and is being medicated, I’m staying with GPs for the time being. Parents are not staying together as far as I know.
anillaBlueViolets wrote:
It's situations like this that make you realize who your parents favorite child is, and it sounds like Leah is your mom's. Does your mom have a history of doing the same thing, lying for attention?
OP responded:
TBH I’ve always been closer with my dad, Leah’s always been closer to my mom, Growing up my mom never showed any blatant favoritism between us but it’s always been kinda obvious even to members outside of immediate family which child is closer with which parent.
To answer your last question I’m honestly not sure if she was like that when she was younger. If you haven’t already guessed (some ppl have) my dad recently found out my mom had an affair, and from what I’ve observed and what I’ve been updated on, my mom refuses to take accountability for it and keeps playing the victim.
astromagic wrote:
What a s**tshow. So sorry. Hope your dad fights for your sister in court to get her away from your mom. I would distance yourself from your mom. Also your sister needs more than therapy. She needs more interventions. She sounds like a psychopath. Could be she’s just a teen but I could never think of a time I saw someone putting on that face of hers in my life.
OP responded:
It’s kinda strange honestly, whenever my dad gives me updates on my sister she sounds like a completely different person than the one I was raised by, it’s feels like her mask has been ripped off and she was angry about it at first but now she doesn’t have to pretend anymore? Idk if that made sense it does sting though.
Due-Jellyfish_8346 wrote:
If I were you, any interaction you have with your mother and sister should be recorded if possible. Especially your mother. She sounds like she may further try to intimidate and gaslight you in regards to what your sister needs/deserves. Proof of this will help your father a lot with the separation/divorce, and will protect you from hearsay when it comes to other family members.
So many stories I've heard of family members just blindly believing a story with no proof, further tearing apart a family. Maybe cameras at home would help as well. I would also not forgive her if she were my sister, and I think I would at least go very LC if your mother were mine.
They both need therapy and distance until they better handle their mental health and see clearly their wrongdoings. They are both destructive, and blaming depression and anxiety (which a lot of people have and don't react even close in this way, heck I went through depression and still have severe anxiety), which is despicable.
Continue to not backing down by coddling your sister and not listening to your mother. I'm sorry for what you and your father are going through. You're still technically a child, but you're getting through this remarkably well.
Good luck! x
Honestly didn’t think I would be making another update but the account has just been sitting here and I felt bad for leaving everyone on a cliff hanger lol. (Also I realize that my last post was actually update 3 not 2 sorry if that confused anyone).
Spoilers!! It got worse!
So I’ll start with my parents, they aren’t speaking. Well they are through attorneys but my mom can’t be civil for two seconds in the same room as my father. I did write this in a comment but yes my mother was having an affair.
There were some theories that my sister found out about the affair which triggered her breakdown or she found out so mom and her were covering for each other. My mom’s affair started just short of a year ago, and Leah had no clue. It’s unknown if this was my mother’s only affair. Now onto Leah, she got much worse.
My mom basically went against everything my dad and her agreed on and gave her phone back + other privileges, my dad wasn’t even surprised anymore and just turned her service off (he pays for all our phones) he’s also planning on taking mom and sis off the family plan. She did go back to school which turned out the way I expected, she’s doing school from home now and I’ll get into that.
In my last post I believe I mentioned that my dad went through my sisters phone and found a very disturbing group chat where Leah and the losers would bully this girl. I don’t think I can actually classify what they were doing to this girl as b*llying though. I talked about it in private messages with someone but it’s not something I want to repeat on here.
Please just know that it was very very disturbing and gross. Enough so that the school needed to get involved, which did happen. I’ll just call the girl ‘Claire’. I won’t get into the details of what happened during this school meeting but ex friends and my sister got expelled, yes expelled, Leah’s one and only excuse for the b*llying was ‘she was a b#$ch to me’.
My parents were just gonna enroll Leah in an alternative school but her ex friend group was also going to that school, they were angry with my sister, threatening to jump her and stuff.
My mom feared for her safety (ironic) so she’s doing it from home instead.
I actually spoke to Claire privately, mostly to apologize on behalf of my sister and let her know we had no clue. She was honestly one of the sweetest people I’ve ever spoken with, I feel terrible she did not deserve what my sister was putting her through and it honestly makes me ashamed that I’m related to her. Claire is doing okay though she has a good support system and is in therapy:).
Leah has completely stopped going to therapy and taking her meds and basically switched from her victim mentality to just straight up being disgusting to everyone in her life that cares about her with the exception of being nice to my mom when she wants something. Leah and I did eventually end up speaking through texting.
When she got her phone back she sent me a long paragraph on instagram which I won’t post on here but to sum it up it was basically just her saying that everything that’s going on with our family right now is my fault and all of this could’ve been avoided if I just talked to her first about the screenshots.
Not inherently untrue, but I also don’t really care. Originally I believe my dad was going to try and get primary custody of Leah because he didn’t trust my mother for obvious reasons.
And I don’t know the details of the discussions he’s had with his lawyer about it, but Leah’s gonna be 18 soon + with everything else going on I don’t think he’s going to do that anymore. My dad and I did have a long conversation about Leah and what the future looks like for her. To sum that up.
He will always love and care for her as his daughter but as a person he doesn’t particularly like her at the moment. If Leah came to him and showed genuine signs of remorse plus wanting to get better he would do so in a heartbeat but as for right now - you can’t help someone who doesn’t want help, forcing it won’t make things better.
As for my mother and I, we aren’t speaking either. Our last ‘conversation’ was mostly her screaming at me and berating over the phone, mostly over me being a brat and not wanting to come home lol. I don’t really know what the future looks like right now, all I know is I’m gonna stick with my dad.
Both my dad and I have been going to therapy which has been keeping things lighter and less stressful so that’s good. But that’s basically the update, I’m sorry to all of those who were really rooting and praying for my sister to get better, this is not easy for anyone in my family right now but I do apologize.
Once again thanks for all the support and sweet comments it means a lot, I did end up showing my dad the posts which he thankfully wasn’t upset about, he appreciates all the support Reddit has shown our family:). I may update again if anything major happens but if I don’t, I don’t. Thanks again.
TL;DR: parents aren’t speaking directly anymore, divorce is in process and will be for a while most likely. Sister unfortunately got worse and likely won’t get better:(. Dad is okay for the most part, been trying to keep things positive.
grandaj wrote:
“All of this could have been avoided if I just talked to her first about the screenshots”
Just to be clear, all of this could have been avoided if she hadn’t been lying for years!
This is in no way your fault! You’ve done the right thing and although it may not feel like the greatest outcome I’m glad you have one supportive parent who comprehends the whole situation.
Fit_Round4016 wrote:
I've been reading your posts since the beginning and I'm sorry this is the outcome. You and your dad have both done the best you can, but you're right, some people really don't want to be helped.
I'm sorry you're both going through this, it can't be easy being separated from a sibling and a mother but I hope you're both taking care of each other and putting yourselves first. ❤
Hopefully there's better news in the future but until then I'm rooting for you both!
Serious-Attempt1233 wrote:
I have a sister like this. I’m well into my 30’s the only thing I can say it’s better not to argue. Play dumb and just keep saying yeah that seems about right. Usually works well enough. And if your wondering how crazy mine was she stabbed herself in the hand called the cops and tried to blame it on her husband.
Jesus_SD wrote:
I hope you're doing well despite everything going on with your mother and sister, going nc is the best you could do, and probably you already did.
Seems like your mother won't realize how much she messed up until all the coddling and enabling of your sister's misdeeds blow up in her face in one way or another, they both seem to have narcissistic traits (not necessarily meaning they're completely narcissists but there's high chances they could be one).
Your father is right about your sister, sadly there's not much you can do to help your sister if she doesn't want to be helped, she needs to realize how much harm she's caused to her circles herself, and will probably take her a while to do so. Anyways, I hope things will get better for soon even if things look tough atm!!
Hopefully, OP, her brother, and her dad can have a much more peaceful future.