'AITA for calling out my sister on her 'pregnant lifestyle' demands?'
"My sister expects us to abide by her 'pregnant lifestyle' during her entire pregnancy. I don’t think I was wrong for calling her out on her behaviour. AITA?"
My sister, Lisa (25F), announced her pregnancy in June, and she has been quite challenging to deal with ever since. Much of her behavior can be attributed to hormonal changes, and she does apologize when she calms down. However, what really bothers me is her expectation that everyone in the family should abstain from things she can't eat or drink.
This is particularly hard on our parents, as Lisa lives just two houses down from them, making it impossible for them to escape this rule. It's especially tough on our dad, whose hobby and passion involve wine.
Last weekend, my husband, Alan (39M), and I visited my parents. While there, Alan was discussing the tourist town we visited for our wedding anniversary a few weekends ago. He accidentally mentioned that we went to dinner at the main attraction: its winery.
Lisa overheard and was furious that we dared to drink while she's pregnant. My wonderful and supportive parents looked deflated, anticipating an argument, which pushed me over the edge.
I confronted Lisa, explaining that Alan and I going to a winery 150km away for our anniversary has zero impact on her or her baby's health, and she needed to stop imposing her rules on everyone.
She became angrier, accusing me of "undermining her pregnancy" (whatever that means ) and attributing her behavior to hormones. I reminded her that I have two kids and understand how hormones can make one irrational, but it doesn't excuse being a monster. She hurled a few more insults at me and stormed off.
My mom later told me I shouldn't have confronted Lisa, as it might make her a nightmare for them in the foreseeable future. I apologized to my parents, and Alan offered them our guest room. However, I don't believe I was wrong for addressing Lisa's behavior. AITA?
Here are some of the top comments:
lol she decided the entire family is pregnant by proxy and have to live like they too are pregnant? Give me a break, I’d break that “rule” in an instant if my sister, who you don’t even live with, was pregnant.
Your parents never should’ve entertained the idea at all, let alone tried to follow it. NTA Pregnant or not, she needed to be put in her place. That girl is out of line.
HeirOfRavenclaw says:
She decided the entire family is pregnant by proxy and have to live like they too are pregnant Give me a break, I’d break that “rule” in an instant if my sister, who you don’t even live with, was pregnant.
Your parents never shouldn’t entertained the idea at all, let alone tried to follow it. NTA (Not the A%#hole). Pregnant or not, she needed to be put in her place. That girl is out of line.
distantobserver20 responded:
This. Guess we know who the golden child is. NTA. There's NO rationale for complying. Your parents are out of their minds for further encouraging your sister (her potential retribution be damned). Hormones are irrelevant.
Your sister is off any stability scale and operating in the red zone. You could have used milder language, but your sister deserved a reality check. You deserve some soft, unpasteurized cheese or sushi, and a nice bottle of something strong!
Crafty-Gardener says:
NTA, but everyone else catering to her whims are. She is pregnant, someone else having a glass of wine is not going to harm her or her child. If she can't cope with other people having a glass or two, then it sounds like she need therapy.
My petty a#@ would open a bottle right in front of her and chug a fair bit. Hormones and tantrums does not give her the right to dictate how others live. As a family you all need to come together and say enough is enough.
Amcnallyjnr says:
I don’t think it’s about any harm the wine may cause. More to do with jealousy that she can’t partake in that stuff for the time being. Sounds like Lisa may be suffering from a little alcohol dependency.
crocodilezebramilk says:
NTA but I think you need to sit down with your parents and talk to them about their enablement. Cause if they keep enabling her behaviour, they’re telling her that it’s okay for her to continue to make rules for everyone else (whom she does not live with), and that it’s okay to throw tantrums in someone else’s home. She will escalate if she’s enabled so much.
What do you think? Would you have blown up on OP's sister too?