'AITA for ruining my sister's pre-wedding because her fiancé is flirting with me through text?'
"AITA for refusing to let my sister's fiancé into my home after I caught him texting me 'by accident?'"
Deep-Ostrich3238 writes:
So, here’s the deal. My sister, Emily (29F), is getting married to Mark (31M) in a few months, and while we’ve always gotten along, something weird happened recently that’s really making me question everything.
A few weeks ago, I (27F) got a text from Mark. It seemed innocent at first—just a “Hey, how are you?” type message—but it quickly shifted to something flirty. At first, I thought it was a joke or maybe he was just being friendly in a weird way, so I brushed it off and responded politely.
Then he sent another text: “You looked really hot last weekend, you know. Just thought I’d tell you ;)” I was floored. This was my sister’s fiancé texting me! I didn’t know what to say. So, I decided to call him out. I texted back, “Uh, I’m pretty sure this message wasn’t meant for me.”
Mark immediately apologized, saying it was "totally an accident" and meant for Emily, and he just “clicked the wrong contact.” But something about that excuse didn’t sit right with me. It wasn’t like he just sent a quick “hey,” it was specific. And why would you need to text your fiancé about how she looked over the weekend? Wouldn’t you just tell her that in person?
I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but it really creeped me out. I didn’t tell Emily right away because I didn’t want to cause drama without knowing for sure if it was an innocent mistake or something more.
Fast forward to last week, and Emily and Mark were planning to come over for dinner. I still felt uncomfortable about the text, so I told Emily privately that I didn’t want Mark in my house until we addressed what happened.
I explained the situation to her, and she was pissed—but not at him, at me! She said I was “overreacting,” that Mark wouldn’t do something like that, and it was just an honest mistake. She insisted I let it go and that I was making things awkward for no reason.
I stood my ground and said no, that if it really was an accident, I needed more than just his word for it. I wasn’t about to sit through a dinner pretending everything was fine. Now, Emily is furious with me, saying I’m blowing things out of proportion and ruining her pre-wedding celebrations. Mark hasn’t said anything directly, but I can tell through Emily’s texts that he’s upset too.
My parents think I should just let it go for the sake of family harmony, but I feel like I have the right to set boundaries in my own home. I’m not accusing him of anything (yet), but the whole situation feels off, and I don’t think it’s fair for me to just act like nothing happened.
So, AITA for refusing to let him come over until we sort this out? Or am I overreacting to a simple mistake? Would love to hear your thoughts.
Here are the top comments from readers of the post:
ArmadilloDays says:
NTA. The reality that is Mark is ruining her wedding festivities, not you.
RelationshipLow7376 says:
You’re not overreacting by wanting clarity before having him over. It’s about respect for yourself and your relationship with your sister. If she can't understand that, it’s on her, not you.
AylenDreamChaser says:
Honestly, you're not overreacting. That text was super weird, and even if it was a mistake, it’s fair to feel uncomfortable! You have every right to set boundaries in your own home, especially when something feels off. Maybe sitting down with both of them could help clear the air? Either way, don’t feel bad for trusting your gut.
Lil_waffleprincess22 says:
Ask your sister if it was a "mistake" did Mark ever text her the "you looked hot" message the same day he sent it to you? Because if he really meant to say that to her then he would have sent it to the correct person that same day right?