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'AITA for telling my Latina sister her kid is white? She had a baby with a pale Swiss guy!'

'AITA for telling my Latina sister her kid is white? She had a baby with a pale Swiss guy!'


Woman tells her sister that her white skinned children are white and her sister is not a fan of that.

Fearless-Material443 writes:

Both my sister (27F) and I (33F) are Caucasian Latinas. However, she's always been tanner than me, a fact she's always been very proud of. For reference, my skin tone is close to Aubrey Plaza's, while hers is closer to Gina Rodriguez's.

When we were younger, she would constantly talk about how "European" I looked compared to her, how my hair looked more blonde than brown (which no one ever agreed with), and how certain colors I liked looked awful on me due to my skin tone.

I almost never said anything because I was six years older and had better things to do. Also, while I did have many insecurities, I never doubted I was beautiful.

Fast forward to now, we both have kids. My husband is a little more tan than me, and both our children (8M and 3F) have the same skin tone as their father. My sister's ex (and baby daddy), however, was a very pale Swiss guy. My niece (5F) is a fair-skinned girl with dark blonde hair, while my daughter is more tan and has dark brown hair.

Everyone agrees that both girls are beautiful, but their skin tones have always bugged my sister. She insists that both girls are equally tan, that her daughter's hair is light brown, and that my daughter spends "too much time in the sun."

Last weekend, we all had dinner at my father's place. My son brought his notebook and drew pictures of everyone at the table. He colored my daughter's skin a darker shade than my niece (edit: orange for my daughter, light pink for my niece). He also gave my niece yellow hair and colored my daughter's hair black (he lost his brown pencil).

When we showed us the drawings, my sister frowned. She said he was "exaggerating his cousin's features", and that he could "at least make her hair darker." When my niece said she loved the drawing, my sister told her it looked nothing like her, and insisted my son was doing this on purpose.

Before the kids could get upset, I pulled my sister aside and told her she was being ridiculous. We had a (very small) fight in the next room. Near its end, I said something along the lines of, "Listen to me. Your daughter is white. We're all white. You need to accept that and stop comparing the girls if you don't want (niece's name) to become insecure."

We left shortly afterwards and none of the kids have brought anything up again. My sister is pissed at me. She told both our (divorced) parents about our fight. Our father thinks I shouldn't have commented on my niece's appearance and wants me to apologize to my sister. Our mom thinks this is dumb (I agree), but says my sister is overreacting. AITA?

OP responded to some comments:

Ordinary-Calendar-47 says:

NTA (Not the A^@$ole) and I hope your sister gets help. I feel so bad for your niece, her moms behavior is no doubt going to impact her self esteem. I can't imagine growing up with a mom like that.

OP responded:

I wouldn't say her comments when we were kids impacted my self esteem. I remember feeling very insecure about how latina I looked for a long time, but not because my kid sister liked comparing herself to me. But again, she's my sister. I can't imagine having my mom do that to me.

Distinct-Practice131 says:

NTA. I don't know why your sister had a child with a white man if the features are so repulsive to her. I feel bad for her daughter and for you for all of her colorism. She's gonna give that poor girl so many issues about herself.

OP says:

I'm not sure I'd say she finds the features "repulsive", but she's always been clearly disappointed about them. My niece wasn't a planned pregnancy, and my sister and her ex broke up a few years after she was born.

MrsPomMummy says:

NTA. Your sister has reached a new level of ridiculous when she saw malicious intent in the drawings of an 8 year old. Her behaviour has gone from annoying but manageable to include the kids and that is not ok. You were right to call her out on it and should again if she continues to make this an issue.

What do you think? Was OP right to call her sister out?

Sources: Reddit
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