'AITA for cursing out my sister's BF at dinner after he made her feel bad in front of our family?'
AITA for telling my sister's boyfriend "f*%k you" in front of his family at a fancy restaurant?
Pure-Description-140 writes:
My (25M) little sister (19F) started dating a guy, 'Eric' (20M), in January. She was really excited as this is her first relationship, and I was, of course, very happy for her. However, I have been noticing some red flags in Eric, albeit not major ones (I won't go into detail about these).
Recently, I was invited to dinner with my family and Eric's family at a fancy Italian restaurant. Normally, my sister can eat an entire plate of pasta by herself, which is appropriate for one person. When her dish arrived, her boyfriend said something like, "You're gonna eat all that by yourself?" to which my sister responded, "Yes," with a smile.
I was relieved. However, this idiot then said, "Lemme finish the rest for you, girls shouldn't eat so much." I was really pissed off at this point. Just let her eat! Also, this was in front of family. I gave him a death stare, which he apparently didn't interpret very well because right after that he said, "Girls should only have fat in two places," and looked at me as if I would laugh in agreement.
I was so confused as to how someone could be this dense. Who says this in front of their own family AND their girlfriend's family? Who even says this at all? My sister was visibly embarrassed and uncomfortable. My parents were also shocked at what he had just said but didn't say anything. I could see my sister tearing up, and she put her fork down in a dejected manner.
I couldn't take it anymore and yelled, "f&%k you," to him rather loudly but not so loud that everyone could hear. I never say profanities in front of my parents, let alone yell them. But Eric was getting on my last nerve, and I couldn't just let my sister take all the crap that he was saying. I just left the dinner table, and that consequently ended the whole thing.
He later called me an a#&*ole, saying I shouldn't have embarrassed him in front of his family and that I was being a stereotypical overprotective older brother. I think I was just being a decent brother who sticks up for his siblings. Besides, HE embarrassed my sister with his disgusting and unwarranted comments.
Personally, I am sad that my sister didn't have the guts to stand up to this child and that I was the one who had to do it. I had a chat about this with her and explained that she shouldn't have to put up with sh^t like this from anyone. Perhaps I could have reacted in a more eloquent manner, but AITA?
Here are the top comments:
ColdstreamCapple says:
NTA. The fact his parents didn’t pull him up on his behaviour says a lot about them too. Hopefully your sister realises her self worth and that she’s out of his league.
NoraVelvet says:
NTA. But you should have walked upto him and told him to his ear instead of adding to an already embarassing situation. He is an arrogant prick, that's what he is.
OP responded:
Yeah that's what I thought as well. I considered saying nothing but then in order for me to do that I had to sit through the entire dinner and basically put up with him being dumb for like an hour. I just wanted a quick way to end it all but I understand that I could've said something else, especially since this was in public (I don't think I was heard by anyone though since there was live music).
Major_Zucchini5315 says:
I disagree. Sometimes embarrassment is the only way to get through to people like this. It also showed OP’s sister and both of their families how disgusting the (hopefully soon to be ex) bf’s comments were.
pewpewpew4988 says:
No you need to embarrass him. Saying it quietly means he could have made up anything you said and twisted it.
What do you think?