'My wife cheated on me with my best friend. I don't know how to handle this.' UPDATED 3X

"My (27m) wife (27f) cheated on me with my best friend (26m)."

I don't even know where to begin. I can't describe how I'm feeling right now or how to process any of this. I made this account initially to see if anyone one else has gone through something remotely similar to this, and unfortunately, it's not that uncommon. I apologize in advance for the length of this post. I just needed to get this all out cause I thought I'd go insane.

I met my wife (we'll call her Sue) in college. We were both 18 at the time. We hit it off as soon as we went on our first date and were spewing I LOVE YOUs within weeks of us dating. She kinda pursued me, but I was glad as hell that she did. We shared our deepest insecurities and secrets with each other.

And when her dad past away in her senior year of college, I was there for her through the whole ordeal. Her father had pancreatic cancer. And when he was hospitalized, I'd spend nights at the hospital with her so she wouldn't be alone. We got through it. And that point in time strengthened our bond. She told me she didn't know what she would have done if I hadn't been there for her.

She called me her soulmate. I knew I was going to marry this girl, and sure enough, I popped the question about two years after we graduated. At that point in time, life couldn't get any better for me; I married the girl of my dreams, had a well paying job immediately after graduating, and both our families loved us.

My best friend, we'll call him Dav, and I had what I could only describe as an unbreakable brotherly bond, or so I thought. We had known each other since 3rd grade, and he was the brother I never had. He was also married, and moved away with his wife because she had landed a lucrative job at a big law firm. About a year ago, his wife died in a car crash, and this broke him.

He moved back to our home town after, but he was never the same. I tried to be there for him, but he wouldn't engage with anyone. No one understood the pain he was going through. So I asked my wife if she could talk to him, seeing as she had also lost a loved one and that maybe dav could relate better with someone who went through something similar (yes, I know now that this was a huge mistake).

We'd pay him visits daily. She would spend hours on end at his place even without me there. They were going on hikes together, watching movies and not inviting me, grabbing lunch, all things couples do. Now obviously this was FAR more interaction than I had intended for them to have and it did make me uncomfortable, but Dav was doing much better from it.

It's important to say that Dav and Sue never liked each other before all this happened. This is because Sue always thought he was a douche. Before he married his wife, Dave was bouncing from relationship to relationship, and even after he got with his deceased wife, he constantly cheated on her.

As a result, Sue had a particular dislike for him and always questioned how I could be friends with someone with such low morals. This disdain for Chris is also what made me oblivious to what was to come. As I mentioned. Sue and Dav became inseparable, to the point where she would invite him to things I had planned for us as a couple.

Moreover, she started portraying characteristics of what I now know to be classic cheater behavior: always on her phone, becoming increasingly distant, little to no intimacy, and coming home very late. At this point it was all too suspicious and one day she was texting and I asked who she was talking to.

She said it was one of her girlfriends and when I asked to see what they were saying she became very irritated and called me possessive. When I talked to Dave about how uncomfortable their 'friendship' was making me, he assured me nothing was up and even accused me of not trusting him and my own wife. I was getting gaslit.

This continued until one day sue went out again. She said she was going to her sister's for the weekend because she needed some space from me because I was driving her crazy with my accusations. I was still very suspicious and called her sister to confirm if she was indeed expecting sue to visit. She confirmed that she was but that Sue had not yet arrived.

Mind you, she had left around 3pm and her sister's place is about 4 hours away from where we live. It was now 10pm. Something in the back of my head told me to go to my friend's house so I did. Sure enough, my wife's car is parked a couple of feet away from my friend's house. At this point it was clear as day as to what was going on, and I hate to admit it but I cried. HARD.

After a few minutes I decided to go in and see if this is really what was happening. I went in through the back door which I knew would be open. I quietly made my way in and I could hear my wife moaning. I was shaking. When I made it to the door of his bedroom I could see through the creak. My wife, bent over on his night stand. I'll never get that image out of my head.

I'm literally crying as I'm writing this down. I pushed the door wide open and they both froze, staring at me. It took every ounce of my being not to beat the living hell out of Dav. I just walked away and got into my car. I could hear them scrambling and my wife started screaming at me to stop and that she can explain.

I didn't wanna look at her. I don't know what I would have done so I just drove away. I cried the entire drive home and they were both spamming me with calls. I went to one of my college friend's and have been here the past week or so. I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I can' think of anything else.

I informed my work of what was going on and they were kind enough to give me time off. I've been getting phone calls from both Dav and Sue, as well as both our families. I let my family know I was alright and would be back soon, but I haven't responded to anyone else ever since. This hurts. So bad. I wanna d**. I want to be gone from this world but I'm too much of a coward to do it myself.

I'm trying to be strong but my resolve is wavering How can someone you loved so selflessly do this? I don't know what to do. How do I deal with this? Please help me!

TL:DR; My wife cheated on me with my best friend and I don't know what to do. Help me.

The internet offered their support.

the_last_basselope wrote:

Lawyer. File for divorce. There is no saving the marriage and shouldn't be - the betrayal is too deep and has gone on too long and she even tried to make you think you were crazy for suspecting.

Tell your family what happened. You will need their support and they need to know what snakes your wife and former friend are so they know not to trust either of them.

Counseling. This is betrayal on multiple levels by the two people you thought you could trust most. Also, I get that it's painful right now, but your life is absolutely worth continuing - once those monsters are out of your life you can focus on rebuilding a better life, and pieces of shit like them damn sure aren't worth k**ling yourself over.

Bryanormike wrote:

Divorce. Block them both. Move on. Seek professional help for yourself and immediately lawyer up. If you have any trusted friends or family with no skin in the game (as in knowing either your ex wife or ex best friend) talk to them.

[deleted] wrote:

Reach out to anyone you can to talk you down to Earth. Lawyer up and get a divorce. Now. Radio silence. That will drive home the message more than anything you can say to her. Do NOT confront her or your friend. You will freak out and do something stupid. It will only give them a chance to rationalize what happened.

Not long after posting, OP shared an update.

First off, I wanted to thank you all for your support and words of advice. You all made this time in my life somewhat bearable. Some of you shared your own stories and made me realize that this is something I can come back from. I had many thoughts about *self-deletion*, but I think I'm past that now. Thank you so much for caring!

Many of you were asking me for an update so here it is;

Sue's message: "I know you need your space right now and I'm the last person you want to talk to, but I can't help myself. I feel like I'm going insane.

I never meant for any of this to happen. You are the last person I ever wanted to hurt. And knowing the amount of pain and suffering I've caused you is a new kind of hell for me. It hurts, but I know you're hurting more. My relationship with Dave started out innocent. I never had any intentions of it going anywhere near as far as it did. It just happened.

I'm not going to lie to you and say this was the first time this happened. We've had sex several times, as I'm sure you already know. You always knew. You're a very smart man and that's one of the many things I adore about you. However, my relationship with Dave only turned physical about a week before you found out. The rest of the time it was only emotional.

We connected on a much deeper level than I had intended and things just escalated from there. I know you brought us closer with all the right intentions. You are the most caring person I have ever known and I don't even know where to begin describing how sorry I am for what I did to you. I will never forget the hurt I saw in your eyes when you found out, and I'm going to live with that guilt the rest of my life.

I have feelings for Dave that I won't deny. But those feelings are nowhere near as strong as the feelings I have for you. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, MY SOULMATE. MY EVERYTHING! I know my actions would say otherwise, but it's the truth. Don't ever question my love for you. It's real. That part of our relationship has always been real.

I don't know why I did it. I think it was the excitement of something new and the taboo of the whole situation, as cold as it sounds. I'm not trying to hurt you when I say it. I'm just trying to be honest. I genuinely don't know why I would do something like this to you of all people. I'm a vile, selfish person. That I can't deny. I did something unforgivable and I can only ask for forgiveness.

That's how selfish I am. I'm a hypocrite and I know it. You have every right to hate me and no one can blame you for it. But I wanted to let you know that what I did had nothing to do with you. It wasn't your fault at all. Dave and I took advantage of your kindness, and for that I am sorry. I REALLY AM. He is too. There are so many things I want to say to you but they have to be said in person.

Take as much time as you want, but PLEASE, I'm begging you Give me the chance to make this right. Please come home. I LOVE YOU!" I don't know what to make of that. There are many more of those kinds of emails but I wanted to share that one because it left me confused. I definitely don't know the person I married. What do you guys make of it?

As many of you guys suggested, as well as family and friends, I contacted a lawyer and met up with her yesterday. I gave her all the details and she seems to be very motivated to help me come out of this as financially whole as possible, given the circumstances. I still love my wife dearly, but I don't know if this is something I can get over.

I received lots of messages from Dav too, but I don't want to read them. I often switch from sorrow to rage and don't know how to feel right now. Should I try to see if reconciliation is possible or should I just end this marriage now and save myself more heartbreak? My family knows everything. Apparently Sue confessed what she had done to everyone.

I've been away from everyone for more than two weeks now and I still don't know what to do. The pain still feels fresh. Every time I close my eyes I can see nothing else but Sue and Dave together, and the pain doesn't seem to be lessening. I know most of you are saying to just divorce, and I would say the same thing too, but things aren't that black and white when you are the one in this situation.

Given all this new info, I'd appreciate any advice, particularly from people who've been here. Betrayed spouses and waywards, how did you manage to move past this? Is it even possible? Right now I'm almost certainly going to move on with the divorce but I just need reassurance I'm making the right decision.

I've read all your comments and felt I needed to add this. I was told by her as well as family and friends that she has been living with her Sister the past few weeks. In one of her emails she explained that she has only spoken to Dav once since I found out and went full NC with him.

Her mother called me and apologized for her daughter's behavior via text. I didn't pick up her calls. She said Sue is in individual counselling at the moment. In another one of her emails she said she was never going to leave me for Dav. She has feelings for him, but she doesn't love him.

Dave is supposedly leaving soon, but is apparently holding it off until he speaks to me face to face. There's a lot of other stuff I haven't addressed and I'm probably leaving out some details, but some of my family and friends are saying I should just talk to her and move on from there. That's where I'm at now.

The comments kept coming.

late_enough wrote:

That’s a hell of a letter to write. But here’s the thing. One, you forgot to black out his name one more time. Two, she said that he was very sorry for all this as well. What that tells me is that she is obviously still talking about all this with him. Because she has feelings for him. And in the end, that’s really almost worse than the s#$.

If she had a drunk one night stand or even a couple of times that’s one thing. But this was emotional, very deep down emotional and that is something that she just doesn’t up and forget. Those feelings will be there for a long long time. Seriously, I got really angry when she said that the other guy felt sorry too. And that she connected with him deeply emotionally.

Who the suck cares? That letter should have been all forms of contrite. That never should’ve come from her mouth or in writing. It should have been 100% and it was about 95%. She says she is selfish and vile, she kind of showed it when she included that line. I mean seriously, it’s one thing to say is that I screwed up and I want to do anything to help you trust her again.

But to say that his best friend who f#$ked his wife for a week, if you believe her, also felt “sorry” it’s just straight up bullshit. The first thing she should’ve told you was that she cut off contact with him forever and for good, period, instead all that she told you was is that she continued to stay in contact with him after this moment.

If she really is trying to be honest, ask her if she was with him or spent time with him or slept with him in the two weeks since this happened. Call her to swear up on her life to tell you the truth. If she did any of that during those two weeks walk and never talk to her again.

But that’s what you need to do really anyway. She said it only turned physical a week before. She lied to you directly about being with him, and this wasn’t a close emotional they were making love kind of moment. She was bent over the nightstand which is a strong sexual act. That’s not just something that happens. And yeah, that’s your burned into your brain and it will never go away.

Take my advice as someone who’s been cheated on. It will never ever go away. And you have an image that will never ever go away as well. The next time you think about having sleeping with her in someway like that you will flashback and relive it all again and know that this was something she wanted with another person while she was supposedly your soulmate.

It was never going to stop and quite likely, it would’ve ended up with her leaving you for him. Ask her those questions, if that’s the way she saw it going. Lots of people can make things work. I’m sorry my friend, I don’t see how this can.

OP responded:

Thank you for your advice. I'm slowly coming to the realization that our relationship is probably over. It's just hard to accept it given everything I put into this relationship. Only less than a month ago her and I were laying in bed planning on finally starting a family. It just sucks.

Accomplished_Milk816 wrote:

Wait a second. So this AH who used to say he was your friend is refusing to leave the house you so nicely let him crash in until you come and speak to him? I am guessing so this is completely to alleviate his guilt.

Tell him to leave or you will call the c*ps. I mean how is he even trying to defend himself in the texts? Your wife still had contact with him at least once after. Sounds like she is paving the way to get with him once your divorce is finalized.

OP responded:

He isn't in my house. He has his own place. He is planning on moving to another state ( i don't know where). My STBXW sent me their entire text history. Every single one. At least she says it is.

The day she says was the last time she was telling him that they can't see each other anymore and that it would be the last time the would ever speak. But again, that's what she said. Who knows what's really going on.

Lordofthelowend wrote:

Am I the only one having trouble feeling bad for OP. It was “oh that’s just Dave” when he watched his buddy cheat all the time. Now you’re hurt that he f#$ked your wife?

You were an idiot to tell your wife to spend time with a player, you were a coward to stand by while your friend betrayed his partners, and now you’re being both stupid and cowardly considering reconciliation.

OP responded:

I don't know what type of relationships or friendships you've had, but I don't think me trusting my WIFE is stupid. Of course I tried talking to Dave about his cheating. We had been in countless fights over it.

Some even physical. It's because of this that I thought I would be the last person he wanted to talk to concerning his wife passing away. By the way, she was drunk the night she died after she had caught him cheating yet again.

Awhile later, OP shared another update.

So I took some time offline to reflect on my marriage and the steps I was going to take moving forward. I was getting lots of advice from the kind people on here as well as family and friends. However, I wasn't sure what I really wanted. A lot has happened since then so this might be a novel. Bear with me.

When I looked back on the marriage most of it was filled with little else but happy memories, which is why I was trying so hard to find a reason to stay. However, when I started thinking about her cheating, how she and Dave gaslit me and made me question my sanity, the only thing I felt was rage.

The deeper I looked, the angrier I got. I will never forget how angry Sue would get when I questioned her on where she'd been when she came home late, or the disgusted look Dave gave me when I asked him, man to man, if there was anything going on between him and my wife. The cheating was bad enough, and even worse was that it was with my best friend. But the gaslighting.

The gaslighting. I will never get over it. Fair enough, I was played like the fool I was, but it takes a special kind of person to lie so effortlessly and so well. I don't know how they were able to flip the switch like that. I remember one night when she came home late, about 2 days before I found out, she was telling me how much she loved me and how horny she was when she was driving home thinking about me.

Now I am almost certain she had come home from Dave's because she was commando. She slept with both of us back to back. I f#$king kissed her. This whole situation made me feel like a wimp. How could I have let them walk all over me like that? I feel so emasculated. The more I reflected, the more I got the urge to head over to Dave's.

But I couldn't. There is no justice for me, not with our justice system. They get to torment me, assault me mentally, but if I retaliate, I'm the one who gets put in jail for who knows how long. I spoke with my lawyer about this and she urged me not to do anything stupid. Not only would I go to jail, but I would jeopardize my chances in the divorce proceedings.

She suggested I see a therapist, but I don't want to. I don't see the need. I was still getting spammed with emails from Sue, and they were just making me angrier. She was still spewing the same nonsense as before, and how miserable her life would be without me. She even had the nerve to send me bible verses on forgiveness.

If I mattered that much, why do it? I started going to work again because I wanted to be busy. Being distracted has really helped me cope better, and I don't drink as much as I was at the beginning. One day while at work I received a letter from Sue.

I wanted to just throw it away but decided to read it. In it, she talked about her individual counseling and how it helped her discover some underlying issues she was having with herself. The biggest of all being her low self-esteem. She explained that the discrepancy in our attractiveness made her very self-aware and that deep down she wanted to feel desired by someone other than me.

According to her, her sister has always been much prettier than her and this contributed to her low self-esteem. she said that even though she knew I was attracted to her and that I made her feel beautiful, she sort that validation from someone else.

She apologized again and said it wasn't an excuse, but that she was simply looking for a way to make sure it never happens again if should I decide to give her another chance. She then proceeded to ask if we could try marriage counseling to work things out. I still didn't respond to anything she or her family sent me at this point. So I just ignored it.

Anyway, I started the divorce proceedings and the first order of business was splitting our finances, and unfortunately, I couldn't untangle myself from her without her consent. We each have separate accounts, as well as a joint savings account, and unfortunately, I can't take what I'm entitled to from it without her.

Even though I make significantly more than she does, and have contributed the most to the money in that account, I'll probably have to split it with her 50/50. So I just proceeded with filing the divorce papers. She was served a few weeks ago, and then the shit show started. The very day she was served, she showed up at my apartment with the divorce petition in her hands.

I don't know how she found out where I was. We just stared at each other for what felt like forever, and all the pain from that night came back. All the emotions I felt returned with renewed vigor. I almost teared up again, but I didn't. She looked like she had been crying and she rushed towards me and tried to give me a hug. I gently pushed her away, and this somehow made her hysterical.

She started shouting, asking why I was giving up on us so easily, and if we could just talk it out. At this point, I figured I just wanted to get away from her. Looking at her gave me a wave of different emotions so I wanted to get away before I did or said anything I would regret.

I tried going back to my car and she threw herself on the top of the hood. I asked her what she wanted, and she said she just wanted to talk things through; that we couldn't end our marriage in such a manner without at least clearing the air. I relented because she was clearly not taking no for an answer and was making a scene. We got into my apartment and I just sat down and listened to what she had to say.

Again, she said she would do anything to save our marriage, that she doesn't love Dave, that she's sorry. She said she did some research on how we can move forward and suggested a trial separation. In this separation, she said I could date whoever I wanted, but that I should hold off on the divorce and at the very least give her the chance to mend our friendship, and then our relationship as husband and wife.

She suggested a lot of other crazy stuff like a one-sided open marriage in my favor, tried showing me stories of other couples who have survived infidelity, and even suggested that we should just move to a different state or even a different country, just the two of us.

That part kinda hurt me because we had spoken about moving and starting our family not too long before all this shit happened. When she was done, we just sat there in silence, again just staring at each other. And then I asked her why. Why him? Why cheat on me with him and then come back only after I caught her? She started sobbing really hard when I asked these questions.

She said she felt really guilty even during the acts but that she didn't know how to stop. That she was so deep in the affair that he didn't think of the consequences and what she was going to lose. She said that the counseling made her realize that she probably would have cheated on me at some point, if not with dave then with someone else.

This was supposedly because of the same underlying issues that she was unaware of. I asked her if she loved Dave, and she promised me she didn't love him. That they haven't spoken since I left and that she doesn't even know where he is now. That she loved only me and would do anything to make up for what she has done to us.

I asked her if she had ever cheated on me before all of this, and she swore on her dead father that this was the first and last time. I asked her who else knew about her and Dave. She hesitated and said only her sister, but that she only knew about it a few days before I found out, and that she implored her to end it and come clean to me.

You guys who suggested that the sister knew were spot on. I also asked her why she was begging. Why she didn't just leave to be with Dave. I asked her if she was only doing this because she felt like it was the right thing to do, and not because she actually wanted to be with me. She answered saying that she was doing it because she loves me and because she knows she made some horrible choices.

We talked for a long time. A lot of crying on her end but not for me. I had cried enough when I first found out and didn't have any more tears to shed over this. Then I asked her if there was anything else she wanted to tell me: if there was anything else she was keeping secret. She started sobbing again and asked me not to get angry. I got really nervous when she said that.

She started crying for a bit before I urged her to just say it because she was making me uneasy. Then it came out. She said she found out she was pregnant not long after I had left and that she got an abortion because she wasn't sure who the father was. She said she thought if it turned out to be Dave's there would be no room for reconciliation, and she felt she had to do it.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was in shock and she started begging even more not to let this be the end of our relationship. I just went numb. I asked her to leave and she begged me to stay. That we still needed to talk. All this begging was simply infuriating: coupled with the news I just heard. I asked her how far along she was when she found out she was pregnant and she said a few weeks.

Then it hit me. "wait! You said in an email that you only started having s#$ with Dave about a week before I found out. Was that a lie?" She nodded. She f--king nodded. She explained that she only said that because she didn't want to hurt me with the details and was trying to minimize it. She confessed that it was physical for less than a month.

She tried to console me but I pushed her away. I asked her to leave and never come back. She tried saying something but I just started yelling at her to leave. She asked if we could talk again once I've processed everything and I refused. I told her I had found I job in another state and would be moving as soon as the divorce was underway (In our state, there is a 2 month cool-off period after you file).

I had already planned on doing this and was just finalizing everything before I resigned from my current job. I had already given my boss a notice at that point. When she heard this it was more of the same crying and pleading like before. I told her to leave or I would call the police.

She reluctantly left, and I just lay on the floor wondering where I went wrong. How did my marriage get to this point in such a short period of time? I just couldn't understand it. I was somewhat sure of the divorce before but after she and I spoke, I was now more sure of my decision than ever before. I ignored all efforts on Sue's end for contact again.

However, a few days ago, this was on Thursday, I received a phone call from my mom that Sue was in the hospital. Apparently, she was hospitalized for a drug overdose. This all felt like a nightmare. I still don't know how to process all of this. Why is all of this happening? I visited Sue in the hospital and she seemed to be okay, but she was checked into a psych ward. That's where things are at now.

I still have no idea why she would do this, and the time I visited her, she was asleep. It hurts cause I still love her, and right now I'm just happy she's okay. I haven't been thinking of the divorce given what's going on right now. How do I even proceed? There's probably a lot of important details I'm leaving out but adding them will just make this unbearably long. I just need suggestions on what I should do next.

The comments kept coming.

Little-bit wrote:

OP I just saw your previous update and I just want to point something in that email you shared. First of all if it was highlighted by others I apologise for garbing on but in her email she says she is sorry and that “Dav is as well”! So they continued talking and/or seeing each other afterwards? They must have been if she knows how sorry is is “as well”.

UnrelatedExistence wrote:

It's not your concern anymore that she's in the hospital. She knew exactly what she was doing with Dave. She wanted your best friend to want her, and he did. Just take some time for yourself, maybe find a hobby you like that you can really cultivate when you move, and whatever you do don't reply to Sue!

Just keep all the emails, everything. At this point, it's possible she will try and spin it that you were also cheating, etc to get as much money as she can. Protect yourself, and protect your future. You deserve better than this. Also, never speak to Dave again, he's a piece of shit who doesn't even deserve to smell your farts in the wind.

Badkitty533 wrote:

Honey, as bad as this is and as terrible as you feel there is no going back. She's done some seriously evil stuff and she's begging for you back because she knows she messed up.

You'll never be able to trust her. She even lied in the email! Then an ab*rtion...way longer affair then she told you. No. It's hard. Probably the hardest thing you'll ever do but you need to walk. You owe yourself a better life and the chance at a new start.

She poured gas on your marriage and lit the match over and over. You are not responsible for her choices and omg they are all bad. You need a new life and you can have it. Of you took her back I'd be sleepless nights filled with worry about if she's cheating again. Head up. Walk away. Be strong and know that you'll be okay.

Eight months later, OP shared another update.

I was hoping my last update would be my last post relating to this matter, but here I am again. It's been about 8 months since my life turned into a nightmare show and unfortunately for me things just keep getting worse. I'm not going to go into detail, but I hope I can give enough to get some constructive feedback from you on here. You've been far more helpful than you know.

The last time I posted Sue was in a pretty bad mental state and fortunately, she got better after some therapy. I felt really bad for her but I knew I couldn't stay. I know a lot of people have made it through this kinda stuff, but I know myself. Had I stayed, I'd only be doing myself and her more harm than good.

I'll never get over it, and will probably harbor some resentment even a couple of years from now. We agreed to divorce but she wanted us to remain in contact even if it was just minimal. The divorce process was pretty smooth, and we got divorced about a month ago. I moved to the Westcoast to start anew and things were finally starting to look good for me.

But then I got a phone call about Sue again from her sister. And long story short, Sue suffered from a stroke. She is almost completely immobile on the left side of her body and can barely speak. I can't even put into words how devasting that was to hear: let alone how crushed I felt when I went to visit her. She looked nothing like the person I knew and she'd always cry when she saw me.

One of the worst parts about all this is I can't help but feel like it's my fault this happened to her. People tell me it isn't but I feel like it is. Even though her closest family says it's not my fault, I can sense some hostility from them whenever I speak to them. Her aunt cussed me out in front of everyone when she saw me and they were all silent. They just asked me to leave it alone and get on with my life.

As much as I wish I could just move on it still hurts knowing how all this turned out. I haven't spoken to Sue since she got the stroke and her family won't let me see her cause apparently, I cause her stress. I don't even know the full details because I don't have the right to know now. I just can't seem to catch a break. F me I guess.

The internet was invested in the update.

ferchu_1977 wrote:

Why do you feel responsible? This is only a consequence of what she brought herself. I'm so sorry for what she's going through. A health problem is something that no one can control. It's easier for her family to find a culprit. And that's you. I know you passed by and loved this woman. But none of this is your fault. You took care of yourself.

It's what anyone in your situation would have done. You should not feel guilty. I would not feel guilt. I would feel sorry. But an earthquake happens. You cannot determine exactly when. So this is not your fault. I don't want to sound cold, but karma is a B. Unfortunately, it was your ex-wife's turn. I'm sorry for her. But I am most sorry for you.

beb252 wrote:

I followed your story and even if I feel bad for what happened to your ex-wife, it's not your fault. You have no part on it. The guilt may have been eating her all this time and her body couldn't handle it anymore. Hope she can get through it. All the best!

Defiant_Hurry2985 wrote:

So you left her after she cheated on you with your best friend and now her family is blaming you for her stroke? Apparently her family is very messed up. It might explain some of her issues. Don't feel bad for leaving her or blame yourself for anything.