'AITA for telling my wife to get over her sister saying she's in love with me because her life is hard.'
"AITA for telling my wife to stop treating her sister so badly after her sister confessed to having feelings for me"
Kindly_Level788 writes:
My wife and I have been married for 10 years and together for 12. We have 2 children. My SIL, Jenna, is a single mom as her husband sadly passed away 7 years ago. When Jenna’s husband passed away, my wife and I provided support for Jenna and her daughter because it was a really traumatic time for them.
Over the years, my wife and I spent a lot of time at Jenna’s house, and she would often come over to ours. I also developed a really strong bond with my niece. My wife, my children, and I had a really strong connection with Jenna and her daughter, and we were a tight-knit group.
That was until a few months ago when Jenna confessed something to both me and my wife. We were all drunk and having a good time, and Jenna kind of just blurted out that she had developed feelings for me.
I was shocked, and Jenna burst into tears and said a lot of things, like how grateful she was that I had been a father figure to her daughter. I don’t remember too much from that night, except that my wife kicked Jenna out of our house afterward.
My wife and I talked about it the next day, and my wife was obviously not happy at all. She said she had suspected this for years, based on the way Jenna was acting around me, and she couldn’t believe how Jenna had betrayed her like that. My wife said we would cut off all contact with Jenna, and I agreed. My wife told me to block Jenna, which I did.
However, I feel like this whole arrangement has been a bit harsh, especially toward my niece. My niece has been texting me a lot, and I’ve shown my wife the texts, telling her it’s unfair that we’re punishing my niece too. My wife told me it’s a consequence of Jenna’s actions.
Last night, when my niece sent a really long and sad text about how she and her mom were feeling, I felt really bad and brought it up again with my wife. I told her to stop treating Jenna and her daughter so harshly, especially after they both went through such a traumatic time.
I said that what Jenna did was wrong, but we should at least have some sympathy. I asked my wife to imagine being in Jenna’s shoes and then, one night, tragically losing me. I said that would scar her for her entire lifetime.
My wife got really sad after I said that and broke down in tears. She didn’t say anything except that she loved me, and she didn’t speak to me for the rest of the night. I feel guilty about what I said—I didn’t mean to make her feel like this. Was I the AH?
Here are the top rated comments from the post.
Early_Prompt6396 says:
Your wife is correct about creating some distance. Your SIL and niece are clearly slotting you into a partner/dad role and some boundaries need to be reestablished. The fact that your SIL was bold enough to admit those feelings in front of your wife is already alarming.
honeybababy says:
The audacity to say it right infront of your wife, HER SISTER!!! Is insane to me!! Drunk or not. Wtf.
Flimsy-Subject2052 says:
YTA sounds like you enjoy having your sister in law desire you and wouldn’t be surprised if you have feelings back the way you’re acting. You aren’t concerned too much with your wife’s feelings and are prepared to sacrifice her wellbeing to protect Jenna’s, not the actions of a man devoted to his wife.
You are blind not to see Jenna is using her daughter to manipulate a passage back to you, with you fighting for her and not choosing your wife. Hope your wife finds someone better when it all goes to shit, she deserves it.
biteme717 says:
YTA, for one, it's not your place to tell her to forgive her sister. How would you treat your brother if he did the same thing? It also sounds manipulative on the sisters side to have her daughter text you.
Maybe I'm going out on a limb, and it's my opinion, but you are also manipulating your wife to see your side. Why the need for you to mend their relationship unless you have feelings for her sister and are using the neice as your excuse. Like I said, just my opinion.