'AITA for telling my wife she's crazy to try making our witch daughter have a Christian wedding?'
"AITAH for telling my wife to stop crying about missing out on our daughter’s wedding?"
No-Cauliflower-6934 writes:
As the title says, my wife (53f) and I (55m) have three children: Brett (27m), Amy (25f), and Lynn (24f). Now, let me say, I love all my children in their own way, but no child has ever given me a headache like Lynn.
She’s our wild child. She got a college degree at 16, began working and saving up, moved to Louisiana once she turned 18, got more college degrees, and lives a pretty nice life. I’m proud of her, of course, but she has always been our wildly independent, argumentative, intelligent little girl.
She’s the more social one too. She’s covered in tattoos, piercings, and always has funky hair. I’m proud of her, I love her, but she’s always been our non-traditional child.
Lynn met her (now) husband, Brad (27m), when she first moved to Louisiana. Brad is like Lynn—tattoos and piercings up the wazoo. Non-traditional. He’s a good kid, I like him. He protected Lynn and has been by her side through a lot of things.
I actually love that kid for protecting my baby girl. Lynn will be the first of our children to get married, so when we heard the news about their engagement, my wife was super excited. She started talking about wedding planning and all that girl stuff.
Lynn and Brad were both upfront about not wanting a wedding and just wanting a small party with mainly family and some friends as a celebratory thing. My wife was very upset and pushed Lynn until she reluctantly agreed to plan a wedding.
Not even a week into wedding planning, Lynn and my wife had a spat about floral arrangements, which led to Lynn flying back home to Louisiana. Lynn announced they had eloped and would be planning a small, intimate get-together in New Orleans around Halloween time.
My wife lost it; she and Lynn got into a huge argument over the phone, which led to them both not speaking. My wife cries every time this situation is brought up, saying she missed out on her little girl’s special day.
After a few weeks of this nonsense, I finally snapped and said, “Why are you surprised? Lynn didn’t want a wedding in the first place! She’s our least traditional child! I’m just glad we at least got the engagement announcement. Stop crying about it and wait until Brett or Amy get married, because they are the ones that will actually enjoy that wedding stuff.” My wife called me a few names and has been avoiding me.
I really don’t mean to be an a%#$ole, but Lynn is the last child I’d expect to want a big grand wedding. I mean, for f%#k’s sake, she’s a nurse who does hair on the side and is also a practicing witch.
That child makes no sense! I’d more expect Brett to want the big wedding when he and his boyfriend eventually get engaged. It also just felt wrong that she tried forcing it on Lynn. Lay the brutal honesty on me. Do I roll over and apologize or continue to stick up for Lynn over this mess?
OP responded to some of the top comments of the post:
TarzanKitty says:
NTA. Your wife missed her daughter’s wedding because she was acting like she was planning her own wedding. Whatever type of flowers your wife wanted is f%#king irrelevant because she is neither the bride or groom
OP responded:
That’s what I’m saying. My wife wanted Lynn to have this overly girly wedding that Lynn just didn’t want. Lynn was leaning more towards a gothy theme for the wedding and my wife was wanting a more traditional Christian wedding which was weird from the beginning because Lynn has always been open about her style and religious standpoint. I just want my wife to accept Lynn.
Professional_Bee8404 says:
Based on the behavior described in your post, your wife doesn’t seem to want anything for your daughter; she just wants to have control. I feel sorry for Lynn. And just an FYI, based on what you described, Lynn isn’t very “wild” by today’s standards. Maybe you’d consider reframing it that instead your family is “old fashioned.”
OP responded:
I absolutely agree we are old fashioned so seeing her unique style and her perspective on things made me consider her a wild child. But she was the easiest out of all of them honestly. Love her and all my kids to pieces.