'AITA for telling my jealous sister that I love my wife unlike her 'cheap' husband?'
"AITAH for telling my sister that my wife isn’t spoiled, her husband just doesn’t like her?"
No-Target877 writes:
I (34M) am married to the love of my life, Michelle (31F), and have been with her for 13 years, married for 11. My wife is chronically ill, and as soon as it was financially feasible, I suggested she quit her job and stay at home.
Since then, I’ve become quite successful in my career, and I’ve encouraged her to get out of the house to pursue the hobbies we didn’t have money for, and that she didn’t have time or energy for.
We are incredibly happy with the direction our life is going, and Michelle’s mental and physical health has never been better. We split the household chores in accordance with how Michelle is feeling. On her good days, she’ll usually do just about everything that needs to be done before I’m even home, but on those occasions where her illness is acting up, a lot of it falls on me.
I honestly do not mind. There isn’t a whole lot for us to do on a day-to-day basis besides laundry, dishes, cooking, and tending to the dogs. We have a housekeeper who comes once a week and does most of the major stuff. I enjoy cooking and typically only have maybe an hour’s worth of stuff to do on the days she can’t do anything.
I also just generally like to spoil her. I bring her home gifts and trinkets. I encourage and financially support her hobbies. I take her on two weekly dates and vacations. I like seeing her happy. My sister, Karen, cannot wrap her head around this concept. Her husband, Bill, works in the same industry as me, making similar money. However, Bill does not treat Karen as I treat Michelle.
Bill won’t let Karen be a stay-at-home wife. She frequently mentions how he rarely takes her on dates or brings her home flowers or gifts, how he isn’t generous with his money, and how it should be “their money.” Despite this, she has always criticized my wife for “being spoiled.”
Anytime I mention my wife and what she happens to be up to that day (e.g., in a cooking class, golfing, painting), my sister gets huffy and makes comments about how lucky my wife must consider herself and how surprised she is that my wife stays busy.
If I ever mention having to do a single bit of housework, Karen talks about how selfish Michelle is for not doing her part and how cooking breakfast was the least my wife could do. If I tell my mother about the emerald earrings I bought Michelle, the spa day I sent her on, or the new recipe I was making for her tomorrow, Karen would make comments about how our relationship isn’t equal and that I’m being taken advantage of.
Recently, at a family dinner that neither Bill nor my wife were attending, I casually mentioned to my mom how after dinner I needed to run a load of laundry so I’d have clean pants for work the next day. My wife was having a bad flare-up and had been pretty much confined to the couch. My sister scoffed and loudly said, “If she wasn’t so spoiled, you wouldn’t be coming home to a bunch of chores.”
I responded with, “My wife isn’t spoiled; your husband just doesn’t like you,” and asked her why she’s forced to work if her husband makes as much as me. She was pissed, my parents were irritated, and I was asked to leave the dinner. My sister has sent me texts calling me names, and my mother has reached out, saying that was insensitive and asking me to apologize. AITA?
Here are the top rated comments from OP's post.
UndeadArmoire says:
NTA. It’s lovely to see a couple that manages chronic illness so well. She doesn’t slack off on her good days and you accept that she’s not slacking off when she has bad. The fact you two just like making each other happy is delightful to see.
Your sister is absolutely jealous and wants to prove your marriage is the weird one so she doesn’t have to feel bad about hers. Keep being Gomez to your Morticia, good man.
sweetrosyprincess says:
NTA. Your sister sounds bitter because her husband doesn’t treat her with the same love and care you show your wife, and instead of addressing that, she’s taking it out on you and Michelle.
Honestly, she’s projecting her frustrations, and while your comment was spicy, it seems like it hit a nerve because there’s truth to it. She needs to stop comparing her marriage to yours and work on her own issues with Bill. You’re just out here loving your wife and doing what works for your relationship.
AntiqueConfidence612 says:
NTA for being honest. She's just jealous that you treat your wife the way she wants her husband to treat her. What I don't understand is why they're mad at you when she's the one constantly talking sh%t about your wife. Maybe they need to step back and think about why they're okay with how your sister speaks to you, but not okay with what you said.
pookielucky says:
NTA. Karen walked into that one like it was a freshly cleaned glass door. She’s mad at her husband but projecting it onto your wife—and you just held up the mirror. Could it have been softer? Sure. But sometimes the truth hits like a frying pan.