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"I confronted my wife about having an affair, she called the cops on me and sent me to jail, AITA?"

"I confronted my wife about having an affair, she called the cops on me and sent me to jail, AITA?"

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AITA for confronting my wife for potentially having an affair?

Born-Play8650 writes:

M30 and F30. Please keep in mind, while you read, that we have an 18-month-old daughter, and I really want this marriage to work out for her sake. I started to notice things were different with my wife last November, so I began paying attention and digging to find out why.

Over the months, things started to add up, and I came to the conclusion that she was having an affair. I wanted to bring this up in marriage counseling (we haven't started yet, but we agree it's needed). However, last week I got drunk and couldn't hold it in anymore. I confronted her about it, and she shrugged off my concerns as if I was just crazy.

Things got heated, and I put my hands on her shoulders to get her to look me in the eyes because she was avoiding eye contact the entire time. When I did that, she freaked out, screaming that I "struck" her and called the police. She went to her parents' house, just next door, and her mom came down, pushed me, put her finger in my chest, and cussed me out.

The cops arrived, and my wife started telling them that this behavior had been escalating, and she knew it was a matter of time, which is a complete lie. I have been nothing but good to her; I take care of the kid just as much as she does, and I clean, cook, and work 2 jobs.

Anyway, the cops took me to jail and charged me with simple battery, which is basically just unwanted touching. No bodily harm has occurred in a misdemeanor simple battery charge. I went to jail, and part of my bond is a no-contact order. So now I can't speak to my wife or her family. I have no way to get my belongings, no way to see my kid.

My dogs and I have been sleeping in my truck and couch hopping at friends' places when possible. Initially, I felt so guilty that I put my family through this. The pain was unbearable; I couldn't stop crying; I felt broken into a million pieces. My world fell apart for, in my mind, no reason.

Now, just over a week later, I'm numb. I can't feel anything. No happiness, no regret, no sadness. It's like my emotions have just shut off. Should I feel this way? Or am I just a complete piece of sh&t for feeling like this?

Here are the top comments from the post.

mintchan says:

Stay off alcohol dude. no matter what you say, no one will believe you.

itmedotgif says:

OP is such an unreliable narrator. I won’t say he’s the a@%^ole because we don’t actually know the facts here but: he hasn't shown proof of his wife having an affair, he was drunk so his “grabbing her by the shoulders” may very well have been a shove or a yank that hurt his wife and she could be justified in calling the cops.

His story does suggest his behavior has been escalating and he handled this terribly. I feel bad for OP if his wife is cheating but getting super drunk and starting fights is not the way to handle it.

sweetbabyrae87 says:

Unless you have concrete proof like you caught her, you don’t know she was actually cheating, secondly it sounds like you are down playing the physical assault, if you just put your hands on her most cops aren’t going to charge you with assault, I think you may be putting yourself in the best light here. Do yourself a favor and maybe take a step back and reexamine everything.

TheEmpressKait says:

YTA (You're the A^#@ole). You are not a reliable narrator. I’m not going to believe that you were hammered and gently grabbed your wife to get her to look you in the eyes. You admitted that you were angry and your behavior was escalating.

So your wife is approached by her angry, drunk husband and is accused, with no proof, that she’s cheating. She can’t defend herself because your accusations are baseless, your behavior is escalating, and you grab her so she can’t walk away or avoid you.

Simple battery or “unwanted touching” is exactly what you did. You don’t get to grab people to prevent them from avoiding you. I cannot imagine angrily grabbing my boyfriend and yelling at him. It’s putting my hands on somebody angrily is such a foreign concept to me - where do I get the right to try to physically control somebody?

What do you think? Was OP in the wrong?

Sources: Reddit
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