'My wife wants clip of my mum removed from wedding video. I think that's crazy. AITA?" UPDATED
"AITA? My wife wants clip of my mum removed from wedding video."
On our wedding day I gifted my mum some earrings in the morning. My wife did not gift her parents anything. I also arranged for our videographer to create a clip of me giving the present to my mum for me to share on her birthday.
My wife is now telling me to remove the clip of giving the present to my mum from our wedding video - her reasoning is that she didnt get anything for her parents so it looks bad on her when sharing our wedding video with others (bare in mind they already know I gifted my mum earrings).
She also justifies this as I have a separate clip of sharing the gift. I think this is crazy and there is no reason to remove a memory I cherish of the morning of our wedding day from our wedding video - AITA?
Not long after posting, OP shared a small update.
EDIT: I sent my mum a video of me gifting her the earrings (with other clips of us both from the wedding) to her on her birthday as I moved country. I gave my mum the earrings on the morning of the wedding to thank her for everything she has done for me. I did this alone at home so imho this doesnt take away anything from me and my wife's special day.
The internet had a lot to say.
TrickPaper9696 wrote:
I’m a little confused why you want to give your mom a clip of you giving her a gift at your wedding for her birthday.
Sharp_POtential3660 wrote:
YTA
You can’t have it both ways.
You say you gave the gift separate from the wedding on purpose.
" I gave my mum the earrings on the morning of the wedding to thank her for everything she has done for me. I did this alone at home so imho this doesnt take away anything from me and my wifes special day."
Now you’re pretending you don’t understand why it should be separate from the wedding stuff…If presents to parents were an important wedding tradition to you, you should have coordinated with your wife to make sure everyone was included. If this was just to celebrate you and your mom… you already shared the present and the video.
dlkbc wrote:
I don’t know what culture you are, but it’s not usually common to gift parents on a wedding day where I live. If it really bothers her I can understand why she wouldn’t want it in the wedding video.
You’re giving your mother earrings for her birthday on your wedding day. It would seem out of place if I was watching the video tbh. If you want to upset your bride on something like this I feel sorry for what’s to come in your marriage. Soft YTA.
SDStartingOut wrote:
YTA for both dying on this hill, and not understanding your wife's perspective. Look - I think weddings (and all of the traditions) are crazy. Starting with the engagement ring, onto the expensive wedding ceremony, oftentimes people can't really afford. To the bride zillas, and the brides maids drama.
But, that's society. And society, whether I like it or not, judges. Your wife will forever get judged by others that see the film - as not giving her parents a gift; where as you gave your mom a gift.
The fact it happened - fine. No big deal. But to highlight in this video (which I assume will be shared with other family members) - well, frankly, your wife will get judged for. And it will follow you forever. So yeah, sh--ty hill to die on. And crazy you can't understand where your wife is coming from.
MerelyWhelmed1 wrote:
From the post and OP's responses for some things and no responses for others, what I'm getting is he's a Momma's Boy, and Mommy being prioritized over the wife is likely to be a theme. OP, you are now a grown man. You made vows to your wife, and she should now be your number one priority.
Your wedding video should be just that: THE WEDDING. It should not include you giving your Mom a gift. That is a separate video and memory for you and your Mom to cherish. That moment had nothing to do with making a lifelong commitment to your wife, and was not part of the wedding. YTA. And I give this marriage less than 5 years if you keep putting your Mom above your Wife.
Neat_Surround47 wrote:
Yta. Not for the earrings, not for the clip, but for this simple fact: your wedding video is supposed to be about your wedding. This private moment between you and your mom does not include your wife, and she’d rather you keep it separate from the wedding video.
Insisting on keeping it in is weird. You have the earrings. You made a video of this. You sent your mom the video of the gifting. Why on earth do you also need the clips in your own wedding video?