New dad tells his mom to 'shut up,' 'she told me we picked a stupid baby name.' AITA?

"AITA for telling my mom to shut up and accept that my wife and I aren't naming our kids the way she and dad named me and my siblings?"

My wife and I (both late 20s) had our first child together in June. Before he was born there was a lot of talk about names from different family members on both sides, but the pressure to tell was on my side specifically.

We didn't tell a soul what the name would be until our son was born and we had left the hospital. My parents were disappointed when we announced our son's name. My family are very traditional in how they named us. We were each named after grandparents and that's how they feel everyone should name their kids.

My wife's family don't have a tradition when it comes to naming babies. They just name them and go. No fuss or insisting on certain names. But my wife's side tends to favor more uncommon and unusual names.

My wife's and my taste tends to lean a lot more to her side than to mine. Which is how we ended up choosing the name Hollis for our son. This was not something my parents liked because they expected our son to be either Jack (my dad) or Parker (my FIL). But I know they were expecting a little Jack to be born.

So that added to their reaction. But they quizzed us on our choice to "break tradition" and I told them it wasn't a tradition. My wife's family used and we decided we weren't going to have one either.

Over the last couple of months, both parents have questioned why, have wanted to discuss other names for future babies. My mom has been the worst by far. She asked why we went with something so unlike the names we have in our family. I told her our family wasn't the only family involved, but that we also didn't take the family tastes into account.

We went with what we liked. She pointed out our taste were a lot like my ILs and I said yes, but that it wasn't about my ILs and their taste, it was about my wife's and my taste. I told her I was done discussing it and since that point I now change the topic or end the conversation when she brings it up or refuses to let it go.

We had a little naming ceremony on Saturday and my mom decided she was going to dig in her heels about the name. She told me we'd picked a stupid name and she hated it...she wanted us to change it and name him "Jack" or "Parker."

She told me we had no business breaking a long held tradition in our family and there's a reason those traditions are there, so foolish people can't name their babies the worst names imaginable. She also said my ILs must be so smug thinking they'll have at least two stupidly named grandkids like they had all stupidly named kids.

I lost my temper. I told her to shut up and accept that we're not naming our kids like she and dad named me and my siblings and I told her she would need to leave and learn to be more respectful because I would not take those insults against my wife or her family lying down.

My mom hated being told to shut up and she said I had no excuse for rudeness to her face. I thought she was crazy when she was rude. AITA though?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

frozenbroccolis said:

NTA. If your mother wants to have a say in naming a baby, then she should have another baby. She was unnecessarily rude and disrespectful to you, your wife, your IL’s and your child.

I’d seriously consider going NC with her if she doesn’t change her behaviour as your son will pick up on it as he grows up and it is not acceptable to expose your family to her.

charmer143 said:

NTA. What to name your child is your decision to make. Your parents will just have to make their peace with that.

No-Accountant3744 said:

NTA “no excuse for rudeness to her face” umm ma’am you have been nothing but rude. Sounds like your mother doesn’t understand that you’re grown and she can’t demand blind respect and you do as she wants.

It never ceases to amaze me that a grandparent can be so fussed over the name she isn’t letting herself enjoy the new baby.

Fine-Meat-3736 said:

Seems like it's not only about the tradition, but she also seems salty that the wife's parents "won" as they don't mind unusual names and apparently OP isn't his own man and can't make a decision with his wife without anyone else's input. Silly games, jfc. NTA, handled it quite well.

buttercupgrump said:

NTA. Honestly, telling your mom to shut up was long overdue. If she's this nasty about the name now, she'll only get worse as your son gets older.

Connect_Background59 said:

You’re NTA. Also I’d seriously consider going no contact, especially with mom over her being rude and disrespectful to not just you and your wife, but also your in laws. If she’s acting like this over a name I hate to see how she acts over more serious stuff.

RecommendationOne542 said:

NTA your mom sounds like one of those spoiled entitled people that have a tantrum like a 3 yo when they dont get what they want.