New mom backs out of wedding last minute because of HFMD; AITA?
Properly RSVPing to a wedding is important, as many couples have to pay for a certain amount of food, drinks, and decor many months before the big day...
So, when a conflicted new mom decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's "Am I the As%hole" about backing out of a wedding with short notice, people were ready to weigh in on this etiquette drama.
AITA for not attending my friend's wedding at the last minute?
I (30F) am meant to attend my friend's (31F) sister's (29F) wedding the weekend ( 2 days from now).
I have genuinely been looking forward to this. I have bought 4 different dresses (excessive I know but I couldn’t decide), new shoes, bag and accessories, all just for this wedding.
I was excited to celebrate the day with friends, and more selfishly, it was going to be my first time away from my young daughter. I love my daughter, but I was enjoying the thought of not being solely at her beck and call for a couple of days.
My daughter has been ill since last week, she has had a fever, not eating and drinking and developed a rash and blisters on her hands, feet and mouth.
Yesterday I also became ill, starting with an incredibly sore through and headaches and has developed into a fever and also blisters on my hands.
I got an appointment with the local pharmacist and they confirmed that we both have hand, foot and mouth which is highly contagious and was advised to have as little contact with others as possible until over the infectious period which can be 7-10 days.
Yesterday I messaged my friend advising her of the situation and stating that I would not be able to attend the wedding, which I am really disappointed about.
I also have messaged her sister (the bride) and explained and apologised also, and have stated that I’m happy to pay if they are out of pocket due to my absence.
My friend has messaged me back today basically saying that IATA for it being so short notice, that there’s nothing they can do now and they can’t invite someone else and that she’s incredibly disappointed in me and doesn’t have words for me right now.
On top of feeling physically st from being ill, I now feel like a complete dk and feel really s****y.
I understand it’s infuriating because it’s so last minute and I would be a little pissed too if it was me, but it’s not intentional and it’s out with my control.
I’ve done my best in the situation by offering to financially reimburse the bride so I don’t really know what else to do. AITA?
Later, she provided an edit to include more details:
I’ll add in an Edit: The bride has not messaged me at all, and is not the one that is verbalising discontent, it’s my friend that is doing this.
However neither the bride or my friend have replied to my latest messages which I am presuming (as my friend read my message yesterday without replying and only replied today) is them ignoring me as they have been online.
Edit 2: I did initially have my daughter seen last week when she initially became ill and had a fever etc, however they told me she was just teething, which, coincidentally she is.
I then further took her back this week when she developed her rash and blisters. Whilst there I expressed that I too was ill and was diagnosed with HFAM also.
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this one...
Major-Garden-904 said:
NTA. Your friend is being entirely unreasonable and ridiculous. What part of highly contagious doesn't she understand?
It would be selfish of you to go ahead and join the party while contagious. It would put not only your friend but all of the other guests at risk.
MRSAurus said:
NTA. They obviously don’t understand the realities of HFM disease. You couldn’t control this and you obviously wanted to go.
C_Majuscula said:
NTA. The alternative is showing up to a large event and spreading disease.
Zero-Effs-Left said:
Absolutely NTA. You are doing her and everyone else a favor by not going…and yourself! Hope you feel better soon.