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New mom tells 'snarky' mother-in-law to 'get out' and 'learn some respect.' AITA?

New mom tells 'snarky' mother-in-law to 'get out' and 'learn some respect.' AITA?


"AITA for telling my MIL to "get the F out" and not come back?"

I very well could be overreacting here and depending on the opinions, I will apologize if needed. I gave birth to my husband and I's first (and last) baby 3 months ago. We are both 30. My MIL is 56.

Since I gave birth I have grown to hate this woman because of her unwanted opinions on parenting my daughter. Like coming here and telling me I "can't" pick my daughter up when she's crying because the baby is apparently just "playing me" and I'm "going to regret it" when my daughter becomes a velcro kid who won't leave me alone.

She said that when my daughter was a week old. Got pissed at me for ignoring her and picking up my daughter anyways and left after shaking her head. Started bringing clothes here for my daughter that were very obviously boys (dark blue+dark red outfits that said stuff like "daddies little dude" or had trucks all over it). When I commented on it I was given a snarky "she doesn't know what she's wearing so I don't see why you care. Seems like a weird thing to be bothered by.

It's free clothes, you should be thankful." (But the thing is, she knowingly went out and bought this shit. It's not like it was hand-me-downs or something, which would have been more acceptable in my eyes). Started saying my baby looks nothing like me and just like her dad (I have red hair and blue eyes, my daughter has strawberry blonde and blue eyes- my husband has black hair and brown eyes).

If the baby starts fussing because she's hungry (breastfed), she will take the baby and pass her to my husband- saying "she just needs daddy." She then proceeds to act put off by the fact that my husband almost immediately passed her to me so I can nurse her. Says I should start pumping so "daddy can bond" (our daughter LOVES her dad, regardless of him being able to feed her).

Rolls her eyes and calls me a helicopter mom because I still wash my hands before holding my baby and I honestly just hate the woman now. It's all so passive aggressive and I just don't want to be near her at all. My husband knows.

Our communication is great. But while he knows and understands my frustration, that's still his mom and she's not technically hurting anything. She's just pissing me off. He has told her to tone it down though and back off.

But yesterday I honestly just had enough. For Christmas I was given a card with $50 in it from my husband's grandmother (she lives out of country and this is what she gives everyone for birthdays/holiday). My husband went and bought our daughter some play seat using the money I got. My MIL insisted on going with him to get it. She's had it for about a week now.

Well MIL came here yesterday and said "how does the baby like the seat that her daddy bought for her?" I knew it didn't really matter but I was irritated and said "I bought it for her. It was my money."

Well, she goes "you're not working so it's daddy's money, actually. And he went to get it for her so.." and idk. I just immediately told her to get the f out and not come back until she learned some respect and stopped being a dumb b for no reason.

I did push it too far. I recognize that. And I did apologize for the name calling. But I don't want her here and I'm sticking to that. My husband is irritated with me however because he is more pissed that I kicked her out because I his eyes she was acting like a b and did deserve what I said but didn't deserve to be kicked out and banned from the house.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

basicstove1336 said:

NTA. He should be upset at her and upset at himself for not setting boundaries and enforcing them with her which is what led to this point.

JustMe518 said:

NTA for anything. Not the name calling, not the boundary setting, nothing. No. She can have her opinions but she MUST show you respect. And the fact your husband is A-ok with her disrespecting you is SOOOO not cool. Becuase that means he doesn't think you are worthy of respect.

And yes, he IS ok with her disrespecting you because if he wasn't, he would be putting his foot down right next to yours. But he isn't. He's upset because mommy got consequences.

Pandoratastic said:

NTA. I'm with you on this one. You can apologize for the cursing but the kicking out was completely justified. If your husband won't accept that you had the right to ban MiL from your home, remind him that this is really about banning her from your presence due to her poor treatment of you. Unless he is expecting you and your baby go elsewhere, that means banning her from the house.

ThrowRA-Ad-8830 said:

NTA. It sounds like you’re dealing with one of those moms who is weirdly obsessed with their son. She sees you two starting your own family and is jealous. She is a grown woman and should know how to act! Set strong boundaries with her because she most definitely will cross them in the future.

Embarrassed_Pin69420 said:

NTA. She sounds super narcissistic. And sounds weirdly jealous and trying to break you down. Keep that boundary strong until she either gets it or she is never welcome again.

toastedmarsh7 said:

NTA and your husband sucks for letting her treat you poorly. He should have shut her down long ago and you wouldn’t have had to snap at her today.

Vegetable-Cod-2340 said:

NTA. She’s deliberately trying to eliminate you from your daughter’s life right in front of you. I would be very cautious about her actions and attitude, and I would ask my husband to watch for it. Op, I would recommend marriage counseling just so you and husband are on the same page about her antics.

Everyone agreed unanimously with OP for this one, but what's your advice for this family?

Sources: Reddit
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