Woman's cousin lies to husband about her supposed affair; 'If your marriage was strong, this wouldn't be an issue.' AITA?
"AITA for going no contact with my cousin after she lied to my husband saying I cheated?"
I (27F) just cut off my cousin (28F) who I used to be super close with, and now my family’s divided over it.
Honestly, I don’t even know what to think anymore.
So, a few weeks ago, my husband (30M) started acting really weird. He was being distant, barely talking to me, and even started sleeping on the couch a few nights. Every time I asked him what was wrong, he’d just say he was stressed from work. I figured he’d talk to me when he was ready, but it just kept getting worse.
Then one night, he comes out and accuses me of cheating. I was shocked. He said he “knew everything” and that he’d already been told about my “affair.” I was like, what the actual hell are you talking about? Turns out, my cousin told him she saw me at some work event “getting cozy” with a coworker and heard I was hooking up with him.
Here’s the thing...none of this is true. The work event she’s talking about? She wasn’t even there. The coworker she mentioned? He’s gay and in a serious relationship.
I explained all this to my husband, but it took a lot to convince him because he really thought my cousin wouldn’t lie about something like that. I even had to get my coworker to back me up and confirm it was all BS.
My husband eventually apologized, but this whole thing put a massive strain on our relationship. When I confronted my cousin, she acted like it was no big deal. She said she was “just trying to help” my husband and thought he deserved to know “the truth.”
But her story didn’t even make sense, and when I pressed her on it, she got all defensive and refused to apologize. She even had the nerve to say, “If your marriage was strong, this wouldn’t be an issue.”
That was it for me. I told her I couldn’t have someone so toxic in my life and cut her off completely. Now, some of my family is on my side, but others are saying I’m overreacting and should “forgive her because she’s family.”
I just can’t imagine forgiving someone who would literally lie to try and destroy my marriage FOR NO REASON!!! So, AITA for going no contact? Or am I being too harsh?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
shyfidelity
I find it super hard to believe that your family would hear about a blatant lie your cousin told, but tell you to forgive her. If that’s true, there are probably a few other family members you could afford to go no contact with. NTA.
shammy_dammy
NTA. "Because she's family..." So family gets to destroy other family members' marriages because they feel like it?
adnyp
NTA. Betrayal is even worse when it comes from family. Your cousin was completely wrong and basically attacked your marriage. I would cut her off too until she has a come to Jesus moment and sincerely apologizes. I might not want her back in my life even after that. You can’t ever trust her again. Ever.
When other family members tell you to “forgive her because she is family” tell them you’d consider it sometime in the future after she apologizes to you. End of story. They would be singing a different tune if your cousin had messed with their marriages and families.
Consistent-Ad3191
It sounds like she has a thing for your husband because why would she go to such lengths to destroy your marriage unless she's either jealous or she's interested in your man.
KaleidoscopeFit164
Honey your cousin is after your man. So you can listen to your relatives who are stupid enough to subscribe to that bs statement about family being family or you can recognise this cousin of yours would climb your husband like a tree if he so much as looked sideways at her. Relatives aren’t family. They are relatives because family wouldn’t do what she did and family wouldn’t condone her behaviour.
HistoryFanatic1400
What was her plan? To have your husband have an affair with her or to leave you so he would start dating her? My thoughts: Run away and lock the foot from your cousin.
Anyone that did not understand, then put them in a small box that if you want to open you can at a later date. Go to counseling with your husband. There may have been some reason that he fell for the story hook line and sinker. But you need to know why.
Irohsgranddaughter
Absolutely NTA. It's clear that your cousin was making it up as she went. NOW, if she genuinely thought that you were cheating on him, that would be a different story, but if that was genuinely the case, then any normal person would have apologized to you profusely.
They would apologize for making a huge mistake AND for putting your marriage at risk in the process. I hope your marriage can recover from this, OP, but as for your cousin, she can go eat some rocks.