'AITA for Going No Contact with My Parents After They Suggested I Give Up My Disabled Son for Adoption and Divorce My Husband?'
"AITA for Going No Contact with My Parents After They Suggested I Give Up My Disabled Son for Adoption and Divorce My Husband?"
OkGarage7178
Hey everyone, I’m really struggling with this and honestly feeling torn. My parents have always been super involved in my life, maybe a little too much sometimes. But things hit a breaking point recently, and I don't know if I'm overreacting or if this is actually the right thing to do.
So, I (30s F) have a husband (30s M) who I adore, and we have a little boy who is autistic. Yes, our life is busy, yes it's not the “picture-perfect family” my parents probably imagined, but it’s ours and I love it.
My husband’s been my rock through everything he works hard, he’s a fantastic dad, and we make things work together. My son, well, he has some special needs, but he’s the sweetest kid and he makes me laugh every single day. I wouldn’t trade this family for anything in the world.
But apparently, my parents see it very differently. They’ve never really approved of my husband, mostly because he doesn’t have some fancy career or come from the “right” kind of family.
They’ve always made these subtle little digs over the years, little comments about how I “could have done better” or how “hard” it must be with my son. I let it slide because they’re my parents, and I figured they just didn’t understand.
But recently, I found out from my cousin that my parents were saying even worse things behind my back, things that honestly made my stomach drop. My cousin overheard them saying that I should "consider my options," which apparently means giving up my son for adoption and divorcing my husband.
According to them, my son is "too much work" and my husband isn’t “up to family standards” and will apparently "drag me down." They genuinely think I should “cut my losses” and “start fresh.”
It’s like they don't see my family as real people, just some sort of project that failed. I confronted them about it, trying to be calm, but they doubled down, saying they were just “worried about me” and didn’t want me to be “stuck in a situation I’ll regret.”
I told them that my husband and my son are my everything and that they can either accept that, or we’re done. They just stared at me like I was being over dramatic and said I was “acting out of emotion.”
So, I made the decision to cut off contact. Now my phone is blowing up with messages from relatives telling me I’m being “too harsh” and that my parents are just “looking out for my future.” A part of me is feeling guilty because, well, it’s my family.
But at the same time, I can’t get past what they said. They want me to just erase the two people who matter most to me because they don’t “fit in” with some ridiculous family reputation? How is that looking out for me?
I feel like I’m in this emotional tug-of-war between what feels right for my family and what my parents and extended family keep saying is best. So, am I the a**hole for going no-contact?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Candid_Process1831
NTA! Protect your family! Your parents should be ashamed of them. Parents are supposed to help there child and grand children!! Sorry but they are the AH!!
OkGarage7178 (OP)
Thank you!! I'm torn apart by there comments my husband and son mean the world to me I will always have there back no matter what!!
GreenEyedPhotographr
NTA. Tell your parents your life is no longer any of their concern. You're happy, you love your life, and if they can't accept this and keep their opinions to themselves, they can pound sand.
You're in your 30s. You're a mom. You got this. Nobody has any right to impose their opinions about your life on you unless you let them. No contact sounds like the best way to live a good life.
OkGarage7178 (OP)
Your right nobody not even my parents are in the position to talk about my family.
MushroomPowerful3440
Well, OP, you did cut your losses and started up fresh, just not the way your parents intended. They are just garbage people enjoy your life and true family without the toxic waste! NTA.
OkGarage7178 (OP)
Thanks I was sick and tired of there comments about my family ... I should have cut them of a long time ago but it's never to late!
MidnightSable_
Your parents must think they’re auditioning for a reality show called ‘Worst Parents Ever!’ Seriously, who needs enemies when you’ve got family like that?
Regular_Finance_
Absolutely *not* the a**hole here! Your parents crossed a massive line—actually, several lines. Asking you to ditch your husband and son is just beyond shocking. And they doubled down on it? You’re right to protect your family, especially when they seem to view the people you love most as just “problems” instead of, you know, actual people.
It’s not easy to go no-contact with family, especially when they’ve been so involved in your life, but sometimes that’s the healthiest choice. Sounds like they’re more focused on some bizarre “image” they want than on your happiness or well-being.
You’ve got an amazing husband and a beautiful family that makes you happy—don’t let anyone make you question that. Stick to your gut, and keep those boundaries strong!