'AITA for telling anyone who asks why I don’t bake for our hall anymore?'
"AITA for telling anyone who asks why I don’t bake for our hall anymore?"
MaybeBadCupcake
Hi. I really like baking as a hobby. I don’t believe in food waste but I don’t often want to eat all the stuff I make, the best way I can describe it is that I love to bake but when it comes to eating I’m just like meh. I’m not sure how to describe it.
Anyways I normally give my baked goods to friends and family. The tradition we have started when my brother said he couldn’t come over to pick up a coconut cupcake pan because he’s busy. I didn’t plan for space in my fridge to keep the cupcake and awkwardly left them in the apartment’s common room (with permission from the security guard of course).
I left a note saying the cupcakes were free to whoever with my apartment number on it (the security guard said I had to) That started this semi tradition of me putting whatever extra goods I have on a free table in the lobby area. Others started to do it a little too. It has worked well so far. I like the environment it has created. Problem came when one of the neighbors knocked on my door.
She introduced herself, said she’s from another apartment floor and that she, in a visibly upset way, was very unhappy with me leaving unattended food out. One of her kids, allergic to peanuts, had some of my peanut butter brownies.
I got very nervous hearing this and apologized. She said it was fine but wanted me to pay part of the cost of getting her child help. I asked if we could talk it out and she agreed. I agreed to pay for the cab she took back and forth to the hospital which I know is getting off easy for what happened.
I apologized again and she said all was fine but to please be extra careful. Since then I don’t leave any food out at all because that situation made me nervous. I know it wasn’t the worst thing that could’ve happened but still.
My hall neighbor, let’s call her Lily, asked if I was okay, noticing that it’s been a while since I put anything out. I just told her that after what happened with the peanut butter allergy issue I don’t feel comfortable doing that anymore, in case something like that happened again.
Now, I didn’t know Lily knew who I was talking about just based on saying the allergy issue. Specifically, they knew which kid I was talking about because they saw him take some. I guess Lily spread the word around because I got a knock from the lady again and she asked why I told everyone to blame her.
I explained that I did not blame or tell anyone to blame her in anyway. One of our neighbors asked why the tradition died off and I only said, "because of the allergy incident" but I never mentioned specifics like who it was/how they looked etc.
She’s mad and says I did that purposefully and she will be speaking to the landlord to make a report. I apologized again and said I swear I did not mean for this to happen but she stormed off. I’m not exactly sure what to do know. I don’t hold anything against her or the kid and I’m pretty mad at Lily for this shizz rn. AITA?
Edit: I really appreciate the reassurance yall:) I’m currently working and a lot of comments to get through! I don’t hold anything against the kid. I’ll talk to the landlord to give a heads up as many of you have recommended.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
consolelog_a11y
NTA. Lady with kids is OUT OF LINE. She should be angrier at her own poor parenting. Every parent I know with a peanut-allergy kid teaches those kids caution from a very young age.
It's like "OK, what do we do before crossing the street?" "Stop, look, listen." "And what do we do when we see a plate of unattended cookies?" "Don't eat them because it could literally kill me."
"Good job, junior, have fun at pre-school today because you're only 3 but still have to know this because I won't be around you every waking moment so I have to instill this in you."
Is it considerate to add a little placard next to food offerings naming the food and potential allergens? Sure. That helps both kids and adults with allergies or food restrictions who enjoy free food. But everyone with an aforementioned has had to miss out on yummy-looking but questionable free treats, myself included! That's life.
While I normally don't really like gossipy shit-stirring, I'm kinda on Lily's side here. This mom deserves some negative press. I'd bet some of the other residents have come to the same conclusion and Mom is embarrassed. Good! She should be! Mom better! YOU wouldn't have killed her kid, her negligence would have. That isn't going to be the only plate of free brownies that kid sees in their life.
The OP responded here:
MaybeBadCupcake
I laughed too hard at “free but questionable” I’m not a witch you guys! I scribble down the ingredients on whatever sticky note I post onto the food. I grew up with a sibling who had allergies so I know how scary that sudden “OH SHIZZ YOU ATE SOMETHING GRAB THE CAR” feeling is hence why I panicked a bit. I don’t like want lily did mainly because it made things awkward. I wasn’t mad at the mom.
78october
It doesn't sound like Lily did anything except share what you told her. I don't see why you are mad at her. Others were also probably wondering about the why the baked goods stop.
The OP again responded:
MaybeBadCupcake
I’m mostly mad because the way the lady spoke sounded like I was going around speaking ill of her.
InfamousCheek9434
That's twice this mom has created a situation, and blamed you for the outcome. She needs to accept responsibility for her own actions. None of this is your fault.
GWeb1920
NTA. I would ask the allergy person what you were supposed to say as to why you weren’t putting out food when asked. Saying we had an allergy scare is pretty reasonable.
KronkLaSworda
No good deed goes unpunished. NTA. Your neighbor seems to wake up each morning and pick someone to be offended by. Today, your name was drawn from the Hat of WoeTM.