Woman refuses to let 'struggling' BIL who 'screwed them over' stay in guesthouse. AITA?
"AITA for refusing to let my brother-in-law move into our guesthouse after he screwed us over financially?"
My husband and I have a small guesthouse on our property that we rent out for extra income. A couple of years ago, my brother-in-law (his brother) approached us asking to borrow $10,000 to cover some debts. He was desperate, and we wanted to help, so we lent him the money with the agreement he’d pay us back within a year.
Fast forward two years, and he hasn’t paid us a cent. He avoids the topic every time it’s brought up and even had the audacity to take a trip to Cancun recently. My husband and I had an argument about this because I’m angry he’s not holding his brother accountable.
Now, the tenant in the guesthouse recently moved out, and my brother-in-law suddenly wants to move in. He claims he’s struggling financially and needs a place to stay for “a few months.” I flat-out refused. I don’t trust him to pay rent, and honestly, I’m still furious about the $10,000 he hasn’t repaid.
My husband thinks I’m being too harsh, saying it’s family, and we should help him out. But I feel like he’s taken advantage of us enough already.
I told my husband if he wants his brother to move in, he can either pay us back the $10k first or sign an agreement with consequences for not paying rent. My husband says I’m being unreasonable and cold-hearted. AITA for refusing to let him move in without clear terms?
For context, the $10k wasn’t something we had lying around—it came from our savings for a new car and home improvements. We didn’t have kids at the time, but now we do, and finances are tighter.
My husband keeps brushing it off, saying his brother will “figure it out” eventually, but I feel like we’re just enabling him to keep taking advantage of us. I’m standing my ground, but now I’m wondering if I’m being too rigid about this.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Kiss those 10K goodbye, and if you let that mooch move in, it won't be "for a few months", you will have a lifelong non-paying tenant. NTA
Exactly. If he hasn't paid back the $10k, there's no chance he'll stick to any agreement about rent. Letting him move in would just be asking for more stress and financial losses. Better to cut the losses now.
You are entitled to your opinion. And you have every right to be angry for him not paying you back. But he’s also family, and I would never put my brother on the street even if he owed me money. He’s family.
NTA your husband is just as bad. I’d pretend a family member of mine needed to borrow 10 grand and I’d take that money and put it in a brokerage account.
The brother has “figured it out”. He will never pay. And then expect more. Use to guest house to make money.
NTA. Honestly, I don't think you are being rigid enough. I'd say you should reach out to a lawyer to start separating your finances. Hearing that might jolt your husband into coming to his senses but even if it doesn't, it protects you and your kids from him making unilateral decisions that negatively affect you. Because he will almost certainly do that.
NTA… Nope this is a hard boundary and a hill I would die on. Trust and respect is earned not given freely just because it’s family.
NTA, I know people love to suggest threatening divorce, but I think this is worthy. Do not let this happen, he will take even more of your income when he doesn’t pay rent.