'AITA for not allowing my mom to withdraw from her 401k after she's been scammed for one million?'

"AITA for not allowing my Mom to withdraw from her 401k after she's been scammed for over $1,000,000."

Mom (58F) Me (20M). My mother has sent over $1,500,000 through crypto over the past 6 months through an online task scam. She has claimed every step of the way that "This is the last step, I swear!" Then something pops up where she had no choice but to put more money in to retrieve all her money & more. She refuses to believe it's a scam and still has 100% confidence that it is real.

She needs to send them $30,000 within 2 weeks and have no way of obtaining this money besides withdrawing from her 401k. She has already mortgaged her cars, borrowed against her life insurance, and taken out loans against her house. From what I know, the only assets she has left is her retirement (401k) & her house (small fraction of the total value).

She won't be able to sell her house within two weeks so she wants to withdraw from her 401k. Since she is not 59 1/2, she cannot withdraw from her 401k. She wants to do a hardship 401k withdraw under tuition (states she is using the funds to pay for my college tuition) and then sent that to the scammers.

I believe she would need to pay tax on it in addition to a 10% penalty for withdrawing it before she's 59 1/2. She need a document from the school which can only be obtained by the student, to apply for her 401k hardship withdraw. I'm refusing to help her get this document.

Her perspective:
- We are family and we should support each other in hard times.

- It's her money and she just needs my help accessing it. She's not asking for my money
- It's the "last step" and if she doesn't get her money after this, she'll quit.

- It's only $30,000 compared to the $1,500,000 she has already put in. She has put in this last bit to get it all back.
- She would rather lose $30,000 and have the peace of mind knowing they fully scammed her than thinking that she ruined peoples lives and lose her money

-(She believes that they "lent" her money to get pay since she could not cover the entire amount & that its effecting their lives).
- I'm "ruining" her life because I am stopping her from accessing her own money.

My perspective:
I just want her to quit sending money and realize it's a scam. If giving her the document would allow her to lose her $30,000 and accept it's a scam, I am fine with that. She has lied every step of the way, always saying its the last step and that she will quit but never does.

Her promise to quit doesn't have any meaning and if I enable her to get this money, I'm only ruining her life further when she finally accepts its a scam. I don't want to be involved in the scam, even if it's just enabling her to access her money. I don't think there will ever be an end until her money runs dry and If I don't help her here, this may be where her money runs dry.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Jedi_Mind_Chick wrote:

Aside from the $1.5m she lost, try not to let her fall for a recovery service. They cannot retrieve her money. Also a scam.

ifbevviixej wrote:

Also, you need to contact the credit bureaus and freeze your credit. She will 100% ruin you financially if she can. Call the bank and let them know what's going on. Contact Silver Mill Law and see if they can help. If you have her on any of your accounts close those accounts and open under your name at a new bank.

A completely new bank she doesn't use is what you need so she cant sweet talk a teller to give her access to your money because the account was closed in error. I cannot stress this enough SHE WILL RUIN YOU FINANCIALLY IF SHE CAN. She is an add**t. She is hooked on this. Do not let her ruin your life as well.

celticmusebooks wrote:

First off post this in the scams forum as well. These scammers will not stop when they get the 30K. The next wave will be the "recovery scammed. The same people pretending to be law enforcement who will claim they can get her money back but will need some money upfront to do that.

yukudaviji wrote:

NTA. She needs to stop. They will drain her till she has nothing. It’s hard sometimes to get parents to believe you, and they don’t want to admit they got scammed. The AARP has info about scams, try showing her that. Or get someone else less related to tell her, or even ask the cops to try and explain it to her. Sometimes having someone not related can be helpful to get them to stop.

OwlUnique8712 wrote:

NTA. But you should call the non-emergency number for the police department and ask if you can talk to someone who might be able to help you. They may be able to send someone over to assist your mother with the information she needs to realize it's a scam and she has lost everything she has already sent.

That she will never get anything back, just a broken heart from all of this. She definitely needs someone in some type of authority to step in and help put a stop to losing what she has left. She is not listening to you because she thinks she is older and wiser than her child but she needs help. I hope you make the call and you can get her help she definitely needs. Good luck!

Flimsy-influence6767 wrote:

NTA. Call the authorities asap. Maybe google the name of the company she is working with to show her it is a scam. You all will be homeless in the next two weeks and she won’t have anything for her retirement. This is serious. She is going to waste all your college tuition.

pottersquash wrote:

NTA. Please take a step back and realize scam or no scam what she wants to do is commit financial fraud and no don't do that.

She is GUESSING there won't be any ramifications but who knows but it would be clear fraud.