'AITA for not attending my best friend’s wedding?' 'I can't meet their gift expectations.'

"AITA for not attending my best friend’s wedding because I can’t afford the expensive gift they’re expecting?"

I’ve been best friends with "Sarah" for over a decade. When she got engaged, she mentioned that she was hoping for a “generous” gift, implying something around $1,000.

I’m currently struggling financially due to unexpected medical bills and can’t afford such an extravagant gift. I told Sarah I’d be there to celebrate with her but that I’d only be able to contribute a modest amount.

She seemed disappointed and said that it would reflect poorly on me if I didn’t contribute significantly, as she’s seen others give expensive gifts. Now, I’m considering not attending the wedding at all to avoid the awkwardness.

I feel torn between wanting to support my friend and being honest about my financial situation. AITA for possibly not going to the wedding because I can’t meet their gift expectations?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

VII_187 said:

NTA. Weddings are about sharing the love you have together with your family and friends, not expensive gifts.

Forward-Wear7913 said:

NTA. I would not attend that wedding and would reconsider the friendship if it has a price tag.

wlfwrtr said:

NTA. A true friend would be understanding. It actually reflects poorly on her to expect people to give certain amounts. Money seems to be more important than friendship to her and that's not the type of person you need in your life.

Effective-Purpose-36 said:

NTA. Your friend should understand that you can't drop $1,000 if you're dealing with medical bills. If she’s really your friend, she’ll care more about having you there than the gift.

Traveling-Techie said:

It reflects EXTREMELY poorly on her that she’s acting this way. Go to a library or bookstore, find any etiquette book, and look up “gifts” in the index. NTA.

springflowers68 said:

NTA. She is not your friend. RSVP regrets and move the friendship to acquaintance status. And eta just mail a congratulations card.