'AITA for not attending my mom's marriage ceremony?' 'Everyone else did.'
"AITA for not attending my mom's marriage ceremony when everyone else did?"
My mom and dad were one of the most harmonious couples I’ve ever seen. They were inseparable—always together, even on my dad’s business trips. However, six months ago, my dad tragically passed away from a sudden heart condition. It was the saddest day of our lives. My mom didn’t eat for a week and cried so much that she fainted several times during the funeral.
Now, imagine my shock when, just two months ago, out of nowhere, she brought home a man and introduced him as her fiancé. She said they were getting married this month. I couldn’t believe it. I started giving her the cold shoulder—answering curtly when she spoke to me and barely acknowledging her new boyfriend/fiancé when he tried to talk to me.
When the wedding ceremony took place, I didn’t attend. In my family, I’m the only son, with one older sister and one younger sister. My mom is estranged from her siblings, and my grandparents are no longer alive. So by tradition, I was supposed to be the one to walk her down the aisle.
But instead, I am nowhere to be seen. I just couldn’t wrap my head around how quickly she moved on. It had only been four months since my dad passed, and she already had a new fiancé. I couldn’t help but wonder how long they had been seeing each other. Was she cheating while my dad was still alive?
Because I didn’t attend, my mom had to walk down the aisle by herself. Afterward, my sisters were furious and called me an ahole for not being there. But honestly, was I really in the wrong? How could everyone else be okay with this when my dad’s death wasn’t even that long ago?
To this day, I still haven’t spoken to my mom. Neither of us has reached out—not a single phone call or text. What do you think? Am I the ahole here? Immature? Or do you have advice on how I should’ve handled things differently?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
UnhappyCryptographer said:
NTA she might have been cheating but this could very well also be a response to being with someone 24/7 and suddenly none. It could be her coping with the sudden loss and being alone. She might have had a codependency with your dad (and vice versa) and this is to fill this void.
As long as you don't have proof that she was cheating I would really keep my suggestion in mind. Grief can make you do very strange things that don't make sense to anyone but the one who's grieving.
ImpossibleFuture7339 said:
NTA. I think you're right to be concerned and hurt. However, I'm less concerned about your mom having been cheating on your dad, than the idea that she might have been hoodwinked by some kind of a con artist.
There are people who prey on grieving widows for the insurance money/inheritance, and leave the victim high and dry. If you can investigate this, do it as quickly as possible while it's still possible to save your mom's money and potentially get the marriage annulled.
Neko_AtsumeFan said:
NTA honestly I would do the same. I mean if my father passed away i would never get over it. But You should have seen that she's maybe lonely and that man maybe makes her Happy wich is what she needs. Maybe she just wanted for you and your siblings to have a father again. But I agree with you. She shouldn't have done it so soon...
Green-Dragon-14 said:
My ex husband got remarried & his new (ex) wife's dad died in a motorbike accident. Like you they were inseparable & was "supposed" to be still madly in love. 6 months after he died she remarried.
My take on this as a total outsider was, she had never had a life being without someone and she needed a man to be there for her. Some people just cannot be alone. This may be a reason why she's married again so soon. NTA.
JeannieNaBottle11 said:
NTA. I wouldn't have gone either. She may have been having an affair with this man prior to your dad's death because this sure is fast. Plus 4 months after he died now she's engaged? Wtf?
CelticMage15 said:
NTA. You are grieving and your mom’s actions seemed to be rushed at the least. You have the right to not support your mom’s actions because of your grief.