'AITA for not attending a wedding with my family that we weren't invited to?' 'It DID sting.'

"AITA for not attending a wedding with my family that we weren't invited to?"

Alright, this week has been super hectic and full of stress. I (24F) was not going to make this post in the first place because I thought I was doing the right thing, but my family has basically convinced me that I'm not. I'll try to keep things short and straightforward.

Last week, there was a wedding of one of our family friends (28F). For some information, every major holiday (easter, july 4th, thanksgiving, etc) my family along with other relatives always go to their house. We have been close, and my parents have known their family for more than 30 years. To sum up, this group consists of about 25 people.

Now, my immediate family and relatives were not invited to this wedding. We found out because another member of the group asked my parents how they were going to get there, and then they realized we aren't invited. I guess those people didn't know we weren't invited (not surprised, as they probably assumed we're going).

I'm not going to lie, it did sting. I mean I've basically known these people my entire life. It was confusing, since we meet multiple times a year for major events, and all of a sudden we're not invited to their daughters wedding. My parents are also relatively cool people, don't cause problems or anything.

I can understand the frustration of my family, cousins, and relatives. But at the end of the day, they didn't invite us and there is nothing we can do about it. However, my family's reaction to the situation was different. They basically had the mindset of "it's ridiculous they didn't put us on the list, and we're gonna go."

I did not agree with this, and told them that I will not be attending, as I don't want to force my self in. Most of my cousins, siblings, and relatives essentially told me that I'm not supporting them and that I should understand how ridiculous this is. I told them that I understand why they're upset, but all they did was try and convince me as to why I'm wrong.

Long story short, I ended up not going with them last weekend. One of my other cousins also did not want to go, but she was basically forced and felt pressured. According to her, things were very awkward at the wedding with the bride's family, for obvious reasons. I guess my family and relatives got lucky considering there weren't fixed tables, and people basically sat anywhere.

Currently, the issue is that there is a sort of "after event" happening next week, and my family is gonna go to that, which they aren't invited to as well. This past week has been worst than the last, with them telling me I'm not supportive of any of them, and that I should understand.

I just can't wrap my mind around going to something that I'm not invited to. It's as if everyone's worst traits came out these past two weeks. Edit: A lot of people are asking if my family was invited to the major events all of these years. For those events, the invite was specifically sent over text or email.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Donutsmell said:

NTA. Your family sucks. There could have been a host of reasons they weren’t invited, including the daughter not considering them to be close to her just because you are all close to her parents. Showing up made your family look tacky af, and the fact they are planning to do it again is unbelievable. Don’t give in to them. The other family probably thinks that you are the only classy one of the bunch.

Beginning_Cow_972 said:

It this is how your family react to not being invited to something, and to your feelings about crashing a wedding, you've gotta know now that they're not "relatively cool people" who don't cause problems. You know this, because they're being jerks and causing problems RIGHT NOW. NTA. Sorry you're dealing with this.

Wild_Ticket1413 said:

NTA. It is rude as heck to show up to a wedding when you were not invited. You did the right thing. The rest of the family, on the other hand, was incredibly disrespectful to the bride and groom by crashing their wedding. I wouldn't be surprised if that ends their relationship with the bride and her family for good.

wesmorgan1 said:

Sometimes you're going to be the most mature person in the room. This is one of those times. You were absolutely right not to show up uninvited. Your family, sadly, is being incredibly crass on this one. NTA.

Horror-Article7752 said:

NTA at all. Your family sounds very entitled. You’re doing the right thing. It may not even be personal, just financial. Who knows, but whatever the reason, they shouldn’t be showing up uninvited.

BlondeWalker999 said:

NTA. Your family needs a manners check. My guess is you won't be spending time with your long time friends in the future. They had their reasons for not inviting your family. Maybe budget? Maybe someone in your family is embarrassing?