'AITA for not babysitting my grandkids on Christmas so they can go to a football game?'
"AITA for not babysitting my grandkids on Christmas so they can go to a football game?"
My son and DIL have two grandkids 6 and 4. I babysit them once and while and overall our relationship is good. They were suppose to see us on Christmas for dinner. I got a call today about watching the kids on Christmas from noon until they come to dinner. I asked them why and it’s because they got football tickets on Christmas.
DIL's mother was suppose to stay with them over the Christmas week but canceled because she can’t make the drive (6 hours). They don’t have anyone to watch the kids. They asked me to do it and I told them no. They said they would be out a lot of money if they can’t go and I told them they shouldn’t have bought tickets on Christmas in the first place. I told them to spend time with their kids.
They told me not to expect them on Christmas Day. They are not happy and I am confused if I am in the wrong?
EDIT: Yes I am a woman, yes I am doing the cooking for dinner. My husband has trouble walking and also sucks at cooking.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Soccerproblem3547 wrote:
NTA. I will be downvoted into oblivion (edit: never mind Reddit didn’t go football crazy thankfully). WTF parents, go have Christmas with you kids. They are 6 and 4. They will notice if you are gone.This never made sense to me, it is basically the biggest holiday of the year and you don’t want to spend it with your kids
You don’t have tickets for the kids to see the game instead what you drop them off somewhere else.
Edit: also not ever grandparent is kid crazy… there is a good chance OP isn’t retired.
RoguesAngel wrote:
NTA. It is absolutely amazing to me that a parent asks someone to babysit on a holiday but expects no input on on how they are spending that holiday. It’s not like it’s work they can’t get out of but a football game. What happened to Christmas being about family? Or is that only when convenient?
These are small children not teens who would probably prefer to have some time away from their parents to chill out. They are certainly entitled to do as they wish but OP is also entitled to voice her opinion when they want to bring her into the whole thing.
Jewbacca_429 wrote:
Let me preface this by saying I am not a parent, I don't celebrate Christmas, and I am barely aware that it is even football season. NTA. At the very least they should have checked with you before buying the tickets (that is just common sense). I agree with you that parents should spend Christmas with their children (assuming the family celebrates Christmas).
I feel like they are overreacting because they don't like you telling them how to parent their children (even though you are correct) and they are disappointed about the football game.
tomphammer wrote:
NTA. OP, please keep in mind that Redditors are by and large asocial and don’t value family or tradition in meaningful ways. The idea that leaving very small children on a day that is meant to be about familial bonds and relationships is lost on them. Family is transactional to them and holidays are not sacred. Instead they are excuses to consume.
You know you’re right. You know your son and his wife are being selfish and abandoning their children on Christmas Day. Ignore the poster who thinks a dog is a child replacement. Hold the line.
Particular-Peanut-34 wrote:
NTA you’re not obligated to watch your grandkids and honestly it’s Christmas why would any parent ditch their kids on that holiday?? I don’t get all the triggered people on the comments saying you’re an AH. YOU’RE NOT ENTITLED TO YOUR PARENTS TIME JUST BECAUSE YOU DECIDED TO HAVE KIDS. Even if you have nothing better to do it’s your right to say no.
Big8497Combination8497 wrote:
Looks like a lot of the responders rely on their family for daycare... she's his mother. Of course she's going to judge him for his parenting. And yeah, I would have been pretty upset as a six-year-old if my parents didn't want to spend Christmas day with me. That's messed up.
Individual_gain4653 wrote:
I cannot believe the comments here like OP is in the wrong. Why the hell is wrong with y'all thinking cooking a full meal for lots of people and watching two toddlers is easy and not draining. This isn't a random Sunday, this is a major holiday that they expected someone else to watch their kids, and not pay for it.
Aidynthegray wrote:
NTA.
I don't care that you were an AH for how you said it, or that you judged them for it. Only AHs ditch their kids on Christmas for a football game, and this is coming from an atheist with some very mixed feelings on the holiday.
SnooChipmunks770 wrote:
NTA. They shouldn't be surprised when somebody refuses to babysit on Christmas, and ditching their kids Christmas morning for a game is messed up. Especially at the age where kids are usually SO excited about Christmas.
It's also just manipulative/petty to pull out of Christmas day because they didn't get the answer they wanted. They won't have any issue finding buyers for those tickets, so that's not really relevant or your problem.
No-Tangelo2039 wrote:
A lot of people are ignoring the fact that “Grandma “ is busy cooking and “Grandpa “ isn’t mobile. Watching children this age would be very distracting and possibly dangerous. So the parents were just going to come for dinner after football? NTA.
CeeCeeATL wrote:
NTA. I don’t get all the YTA responses. No one, including grandparents, should be obligated to babysit whenever asked. I am sure OP was going to be busy getting the house ready, cooking, etc.
I also don’t think the parents suck for going to a game (although hopefully this is just a one off and they are not spending every Christmas away from the kids). But I do think they are the AH for trying to force OP to babysit and then using Christmas as a weapon.
*Edited to add NTA at the top.