'AITA for not caring for/about my husband's favorite show?' UPDATED

"AITA for not caring for/about my husband's favorite show?"

My husband watches a very very popular, long running tv show with a huge Fandom. I'm not going to get into what show because it truly doesn't matter. I really don't have any interest in the show. I'm not a huge tv person, its a genre I don't enjoy and its been on so long it would take me months maybe years to work enough time into my schedule to watch it in its entirety.

I have told my husband explicitly several times I don't enjoy this show enough to watch it. But my lack of interest is always an issue with my husband. I don't care if he watches it, I've literally bought him the show's merch as gifts. I will scroll on my phone or read if he turns it on. He will often get my attention and have me watch portions of the show and explain the lore.

My response to these tidbits of info is NEVER enthusiastic enough for him. Even when I remember details hes told me, if I get 1 thing even slightly wrong he gets frustrated and offended. Never out right mean or angry but I often get "nevermind then if you're not going to care" in a huffy voice.

That's the thing though. I DON'T care. Its gotten to the point I don't want to be in the room when he's watching it because I cant pretend to care enough. That sounds harsh but it is literally just this 1 show. We have several shows we watch together. Several he watches that I don't, that I don't mind paying attention to.

I just don't like this show and I don't have enough brain power to commit SO MANY details about a show I don't like to memory. I cant tell if Im being an asshole by not putting in more effort for something he obviously really enjoys. Or if he's being an AH for continuing to push this on me after I've shown my clear dislike for it.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

pandeezi wrote:

INFO: does he have other interests that you pay attention to/show an interest in? And vice versa with respect to interests that you have, does he show interest in some of those?

I think it’s important to care about your partner’s interests/hobbies, and at the same time you don’t have to care about every interest because then it borders on co-dependency. Sometimes there are things couples don’t share and that’s okay, because you’re not the same person.

Jimmysue1989 wrote:

He’s an AH. My husband has no interest in one of my favorite shows. He’s watched it through once but it’s only 12 seasons and the episodes are short. But if I want to watch it and he’s in the room, I verify he doesn’t want to watch something together and ge will usually choose scrolling on his phone or playing video games instead which im totally fine with.

Usually I just watch it when he’s not home but sometimes will watch when he is. I don’t get pissed off when he isn’t paying attention or doesn’t show any interest in it. He has his interests and I have mine and we’re totally fine with that.

syveril wrote:

Does he not have any friends? It's exhausting being your spouse's only friend. Insist that he socialize with another human being; you can't share 100% the same interests all the time. NTA. It's 100% normal that a spouse might not care about your show AND TO LEAVE YOUR SPOUSE ALONE ABOUT IT.

thatoneguy01123 wrote:

What sucks here is that your husband desperately wants to share his love of the show with you. It's not an easy thing to let go of. I love gaming and for a long time I'd try to get games that I thought my wife would be willing to play. Hoping I could share this hobby with her.

Letting that go and coming to terms that she'll never play a video game with me was hard to do but I'm glad I did. It wasn't fair of me to hope she would change. We have our together stuff and that's all I need. What's troubling here is that he knows you don't like the show yet he keeps watching during what could be together time.

He needs to respect that you don't like it and keep it to himself. It's one thing if you're both doing alone time and that's when he's watching. But if you could otherwise be together he shouldn't be turning it on. There's a nice way to tell him you don't like the show and you don't want him to talk about it with you anymore. That seems like a reasonable request at this point. Good luck 🙋

-Cleon wrote:

NTA. I'm interested in a lot of stuff my wife couldn't GAF about, and vice-versa.

It's ok to be different people. Marriage doesn't mean sacrificing your own personality for the Couple.

Not long after posting, OP shared an update.

Editing to address the most popular comments.

First of all: We've been together 12.5 years and married for 10.

Those telling me to leave the room while he is watching: I do. He will stop me or call me back into the room to have me watch the show. I can be in the kitchen, headphones in, listening to a podcast, cleaning or doing whatever and he will interrupt me. What prompted this post was him stopping me to watch a 5-minute clip while I was actively going to do another activity.

My hands were full of the things I needed for my activity as I was about to leave the room. I had to stop and sit down to watch. He got upset when I stopped looking at the screen for 5 seconds while I got all my various items settled as I sat. Because "you have to watch to understand what I'm talking about."

Those saying I am not showing enough interests in his interests: I do not watch tv. He does. Its his way to relax and decompress. I didnt grow up watching a lot of tv and never really grew to enjoy it much. I can count how many shows i would chose to watch by myself on 1 hand.

But every night we spend an hour to an hour and a half watching tv together. He picks the shows. If we never did it again I would miss the time spent with him but not the tv shows. I am a reader and a podcast listener. He doesn't listen to my podcasts or read books with me. He supports my hobbies by getting me nice headphones and a kindle but doesn't participate in it otherwise.

That is enough for me. I feel like I am making an active decision to participate in his interests but because I cant enjoy this show its not enough. The much awaited for detail: the show is One Piece.

He's been a watcher long before we got together. No shame to those who love it. I just cant shove 25+ years and over 1000 episodes of details and story into my brain. I know those details matter to the show and I can't hang.

Here's what people had to say after the update:

the-elephant-sack wrote:

I would say “I don’t find your show interesting in the least. I think it is a massive time suck. I leave you alone because I understand it is your way to decompress. I have even bought you presents because I know you enjoy it."

"But if you want to talk to me about it or want me to watch it with you, I am going to turn off the TV and we are going to use that time to get something done around the house that we have been putting off. Like cleaning the base boards or doing a deep clean of the bathroom. You have been warned.”

OldestCrone wrote:

NTA. Go off somewhere else and do your thing. If you were to put on headphones so you could read, he wouldn’t be able to stand it and would have to be annoying. That may be his idea of your doing something together, but it is not yours.

When you are off in your quiet space, take some time to think about his past behavior in other areas. Does he always insist on having his way and that his way is the only way? Does he act as if he is the expert? Some people never grow up; they just get older.

readergirl35 wrote:

NTA. Pick the absolute longest book or podcast you truly like. Start reading him bits or playing bits to him routinely. Explain the plot of the book in detail. Each time an episode drops explain it to him and play him a clip. When he says he's not interested tell him you thought he wanted to share interests. Whatever he says to that is your new go to answer when he tries to show clips of his show.