'AITA for not caring that my ex-BFF is terminally ill after what he did to me?'
"AITA for not caring that my ex best friend is dying?"
I recently found out that my ex best friend who I was best friends with since we were babies until 4 years ago has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and he has a few months left to live, and I don’t care.
4 years ago I was engaged to a girl who I thought was the love of my life, he was supposed to be my best man, I found out that they were having an affair for two years behind my back and they were planning on her marrying me and a year later she was supposed to file for divorce and ruin me financially so that they can get my house and money and be together.
I confronted him about it and he said the divorce plan was my fiancé’s idea and that he just couldn’t help himself from falling in love with her. He tried apologizing but I got physical with him and cut them both out of my life, he tried reconnecting multiple times with me and tried apologising but every time I told him to go burn in hell, I hated him. They ended up getting married anyways
Last month his mom came and visited me, I haven’t seen her in years but she always loved me and treated me like a son so I was nice to her and invited her in, she said that she understands why I don’t talk to her son anymore and she swore on everything that what he did was despicable and that she never approved of their relationship or marriage.
Then she told me that he was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer. They never caught it before and there’s no point in fighting it it’s done he is going to die in less than a year. She said he begged to talk to me and apologise for everything before he dies, she said I don’t have to do anything but she begged me to think about it. And she left after that.
And I have thought about it, and honestly I do not care, it’s not really about my ex I don’t care about her anymore I’m now happily married with a much sweeter more genuine woman, it’s how he lied to my face for over two years and how fine he was with ruining my life, if I hadn’t discovered it before they’d have gone after everything I had and they’d probably be living in my house together right now.
He burned that relationship forever all by himself, I don’t actively hate him anymore like how I did back then I just don’t care about him at all, he’s a stranger to me now, when he dies it won’t be any different to finding out a stranger died, and I don’t feel bad for him at all. AITA for this?
This is what people had to say to OP:
Personal-Ad-8077 said:
I think you probably mourned him and your friendship 4 years ago. No need to do it again.
OP responded:
Yes I did, it was very hard but he’s been dead to me for years now.
Senator_Bink said:
NTA. I think you're great for moving past and no longer caring about the shit they pulled. If you did go to see him, it would be solely for his benefit. I hope he realizes there's nothing in it for you, and you owe him nothing. That he's already gotten all he's going to out of you.
New-Lifeguard-9494 said:
NTA. This may sound harsh, but you do not owe anyone a conversation or forgiveness. While it's unfortunate that he's dying, ultimately it does not matter in this situation. All you need to decide is whether or not you think you will regret not speaking to him after he's gone. If you don't think you will regret it, then don't feel bad about not doing it.
I cut my father off when I was 13. I found out last year (when I was 35) that he was in ICU. I didn't want to see him, so I didn't. And, I don't regret it.
OP responded:
No I won’t, I already grieved him years ago
CrochetChurchHistory said:
Your fiancee and ex friend were both dumb as rocks. Exactly how was she going to get your savings and your house, both of which you'd acquired before the marriage, after one year of marriage?
OP responded:
I honestly don’t know what they were thinking😭
sylbug said:
NTA. He may be dying, but he’s still the same selfish prick who betrayed you four years ago. Seeing him would be entirely for the HIS benefit and to your detriment. Don’t go. Let him sit with the guilt he so richly earned.
Worth-Season3645 said:
NTA….My mother had a very good friend who turned her back on my mom out of jealousy. My mom had good friends again, but she never let anyone get real close to her again. That friend too, on her death bed, asked for my mom. My mom said no thank you. I have no desire to appease your dying wishes. And my mom was fine with her decision.