'AITA for not catering to my nephew's pickiness while my SIL's family lives with me?'

"AITA for not catering to my nephew's pickiness?"

My sister-in-law is staying with us for a few months while they move and it's been tough. I work from home while she's a stay at home mom so she's home with me and her kids.

Honestly, I don't mind them here much. My kid loves her cousins and it's nice having someone to talk to at home during the day. But the tough part is cooking for them. Not only am I cooking for the double the amount I'm used to, I also have to figure out what to make for them!

Usually, I cook one dish and we all eat it. No complaints or choice otherwise because that's how I grew up and I never saw a problem with it. I don't force feed, just set the bowl in front of them and they eat as much as they want. It's great, my daughter eats everything and rarely expresses she doesn't like something. (As a 3 year old, she does occasionally lol)

My sister-in-law's kids...are very picky. They don't like tomato sauce, they don't like veggies, they don't like melted cheese, they don't like mayo on their burger but sandwich is fine, they don't like soggy cereal, I can go on and on. Every day, I try to make something they like. I made pancakes, my sister in law is like oh... what recipe did you use?

My oldest only eats a specific recipe...when he walks in, she goes over the top to explain to this 6 year old that this is a different recipe and he'll have to try it. He refuses to try it until she forces him to take a bite and he throws a fit because he doesn't like it. The rest of the kids are eating quietly at the table.

Any meal I make, I'm already expecting her to say something about it. Yesterday, I made sliders hoping that would be fine...nope, she asked me to make half of them specific to the older child's taste. No cheese or sauce. Just bread and meat.

He still didn't eat it.

Because he "didn't know" about the taste.

Anyway, I've been already cooking with way less vegetables than I usually do and I'm at my wits end. But I refuse to cook Mac and cheese boxes and no sauce pizza every night. My freezer and pantry are all filled with processed food and snacks that we usually don't have because her kids don't snack on fruits and veggies...they snack on chips and donuts.

I wish I was kidding but I haven't seen her kids consume any fruit or veggies for the past few days. So, AITA for not catering to their pickiness? I'm trying to keep balanced meals for my own family and I refuse to change that just because they don't want to eat it.

The internet did not hold back that much.

Only-ingenuity7889 wrote:

Why are you the one cooking when she's a stay at home Mom staying with you for free?

NTA.

OP responded:

Well she does cook occasionally, she makes Mac n cheese, top ramen... but I cook every meal anyway because I just strongly believe in my child having balanced meals.

Sometimes, I do let my child just eat what she makes too but I don't feel comfortable with her eating that every day.

pottersquash wrote:

"She goes over the top to explain to this 6 year old that this is a different recipe and he'll have to try it.|

Not going to get on the soapbox, but I think we both see the same thing. Lets mmhmmm togther: mmmmmmmhmmmmm

NTA. SIL gotta start cooking for her kids. Try to better mask your disdain, you don't want to reverser mirror her actions by going too far to other extreme.

If you wanna do some good though, you could really help the kids by slowly getting fruits and veggies into life.

I find going from fruit snacks to fruit leather to dried friuit to canned/package fruit, to finally fruit really lets you handwalk a natural fruit adverse person to yea, this is what they are trying to copy...oh...this is cheaper...you can pretty much always have it and the adults will cheer you for having it.

ExpressionMundane244 wrote:

Why are you cooking for them? Isnt your SIL a SAHM? Why cant she cook for her kids? Even for you sometimes, like a thank you for letting us stay at your home?

NTA. Stop being their private chef. Do what you always did. If they dont like it, they can cook for themselves.

Mira_DFalco wrote:

NTA. If SIL is that invested in her kids being picky eaters, she needs to be the one to feed them. There's no reason why you need to be running a short order kitchen. Cook the meals that you would normally prepare, and ask SIL if the and her kids will be joining you for supper. If she decides that what you're offering won't do, don't alter your menu.

Just let her know that she'll need to make something different, & give her the opportunity to do that.

I have to wonder if her kids will eventually follow your kids lead, if SIL isn't constantly making this such a power struggle.

OP responded:

Whenever I'm alone with them, the younger ones eat anything I put in front of them. The oldest.. just doesn't eat and eventually eats by the end of the day. He complained about it the whole time but he did. My SIL does not believe me for some reason.

Flat-Style7877 wrote:

Maybe I missed it, but why are you catering to them in the first place? You are letting them stay for free, she SAHM, you have not spoken to any help she provides, she can feed her own kid. You need to worry about your family, let her deal with her child. Set a boundary, this is ridiculous you're not a short order cook.

JadieBugXD wrote:

NTA.

I think the solution is that you cook the way that you would normally cook, give SIL advance notice of what the menu is for each day and if SIL feels that her children won’t eat it, she can either enforce “this is what’s available” or plan to prepare something else.