'AITA for not changing my name on DoorDash after getting married?' MAJOR UPDATE

"AITA for not changing my name on DoorDash after getting married?"

My husband (30M) and I (28F) got married a little over a year ago. Anyways I ordered DoorDash for us for lunch yesterday and when it arrived he got it from the porch. When he came back to the kitchen he was visibly upset and when I asked what was wrong he asked me why my last initial on the order was still my maiden name. I told him I never really thought about it.

He asked me to change it but I refused and told him he was overreacting because it wasn’t that important as it’s only for the dasher to get whatever we ordered from the restaurant and you don’t even have to put your real name. He blew up and wouldn’t talk to me for hours. He eventually said if I was ashamed of using his last name then I should just say so and without letting me speak he left to stay at his parent’s house.

He hasn’t responded to any of my texts or calls for the last 24 hours but I still have his location and he is indeed at his parent’s house. Honestly at this point I have no idea what to think. AITA for not changing it when he asked? Or is this a start to something much bigger?

We’ve never had an argument like this and have had a perfect marriage and relationship otherwise. I just feel like I don’t know then man I’m married to anymore.

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Alarmed-Speaker-8330 said:

My wife still gets stuff with her old name. She was married prior and then went back to her maiden name. So it’s her ex husbands name. IDGAF-I got her. And she’s awesome and effing hawt. Dude needs to grow up and put his little fee fees to bed. She kept her maiden name when we married. Again, I got her.

OP responded:

I needed to read this. I’m just scared for what this means. I don’t like turning to strangers but this is where I’ve seen the most emotionally evolved people.

lauraz0919 said:

NTAH. And omg that is such childish behavior! Then running home makes it even worse. Does he over react about much or is this the first time? This can spell HUGE issues in the future or maybe he is just having a bad day?Wish you luck.

OP responded:

We have had a pretty much perfect relationship I really don’t understand what’s going on. I really don’t think this is a big deal but I’m torn between the thought that I made it a big deal by refusing and it being a red flag that he cares so much about it

No-Stable365 said:

NTA. It’s a clear over reaction to a very small thing. Honestly, does he accuse you of cheating? Go through your phone? Question where you are going or where you have been?

OP responded:

No never at least to my knowledge. He knows my phone password but he doesn’t question me

Antique-Agent-2992 said:

NTA but It's concerning he got so upset about such a little thing.

dumbmb said:

My name on DoorDash is Clammy Bossman… he’s being a silly goose.

peace_train1 said:

Hope you don’t have kids because ge sounds like a baby.

OP responded:

I don’t have any kids with him but unfortunately my children are involved. I’ve never seen him as a child until now and it’s such a change that it leaves my thoughts conflicted

Two weeks later, OP shared this update:

I am definitely an idiot but the best lessons are learned first hand. A few days after my original post he came home. His mother had called me (we have always been on fairly good terms) asking what was going on since he wouldn’t tell her.

I explained the situation and she told me she was very disappointed in him for starting all this over something so simple regardless of if I was willing to change it or not. Anyways he came home and apologized with the most sincere apology I’ve ever received in my life…or so I thought.

This weekend his job had a Labor Day party where all his coworkers and their families were invited over to the bosses house. We don’t normally go to these sort of things because our families are usually doing things the same days but this time we decided to go since my children were with their dad and our families were out of town.

We get there and I’m meeting a lot of new people but I’m most looking forward to meeting Danny, the guy I assumed was his best friend since he’s always talking about him. Danny is nowhere to be found until this drop dead gorgeous woman walks in…turns out Danny is actually Dani short for Danielle. I kept my cool at the omission of her gender but it all clicked when her and I had a conversation.

She is probably one of the most progressive women I’ve ever met but not in an aggressive manner. I honestly think I could be really good friends with this woman. She’s so poised and genuinely nice. She told me she recently got engaged. The funny thing is she owns a side business so she will not be changing her last name.

Apparently my husband made a fool of himself to her as well by saying her fiancé wasn’t a “real man” because he’s okay with that. She told him off and didn’t speak to him for a few days. She said he apologized, get this, BEFORE he apologized to me!

Anyways turns out that whole argument was a projection of his own inner feelings and the discrepancy between him and Dani. I kept my cool at the party but in the conversation I had with him later he admitted to having a crush on her. I was so livid and hurt by this I kicked him out.

I’m going to be calling divorce lawyers today because I’m done and will not spend the rest of my life worrying if he has something going on with one of his coworkers. I’m just thankful that the house was mine before we got married.