'AITA for not co-signing a mortgage agreement for my parents and brother?'
"AITA for not co-signing a mortgage agreement for my parents?"
I (21f) have been asked by my parents to cosign a home mortgage worth 200k with my brother (22m). For context, my dad and brother lives 3 hours away from my mom and my other siblings because of work. I live in another province for military posting reasons.
My dad and brother are currently paying rent, and they’re looking to buy a house. However, my dad has filed for bankruptcy and my brother has only been working for 3 months at his new job so he might not get approved.
That’s why they need me to co-sign for my name and ID. They told me I won’t be paying anything because I wont need to put my banking information. That my brother and dad will pay it and i just have to act as a cosigner.
This is my first time doing something like this, especially taking in a big commitment such as a home that I won’t even be living in. So naturally I started researching about it. I learnt that if my brother fails to pay it off on time and what not, I am financially responsible for it. I asked my mom questions of what it would mean for me to co-sign. I’m pretty hesitant because of my dad’s past history of being in debt.
She did not take it well. She asked why I am thinking negatively of things, if I really loved my Dad I wouldn’t even think in this way and just say yes. I told her it’s because I want to think of things realistically and don’t want to be in debt in case my brother can’t pay things off.
She said that my distrust in my dad is unfair. And that this is the only help I’ll be giving towards my family and I can’t even do it. (mind you, I'm paying for my mom and siblings’ house insurance, my mom’s phone bill, and other miscellaneous things that they need money for). Now she said she doesn’t want me to do it at all because of how I reacted. AITA?
The internet did not hold back.
A-namethatsavailable wrote:
Don't do it. "If you really loved X you'd do it" is a manipulation tactic. Regardless of who, friend, family, whatever, you'd be taking a huge risk. You will wear financial responsibility and if you somehow fail to do so, you'll end up in your dads position. I assume it'll ruin your credit rating also. You're right to be hesitant over it due to his situation.
Just say no. It's too much of a risk for you. Whether you need to make payments or not is irrelevant. You'll be left worrying whether he has made each weekly/monthly payment. Next thing you know, he might fall short and you will have no choice but to make up the difference.
LookAwayPlease510 wrote:
Aside from having to pay it if they don’t pay it, you also won’t be able to qualify for your own mortgage, because you’ll already have $200k of debt under your name, and likely don’t make enough for another mortgage.
So what about your future? They could refinance after a year, but it’s still such a huge risk. Especially if you don’t trust your dad with money. I wouldn’t trust someone who’s bankrupt either. If you need 3 people to get one mortgage, maybe you’re not ready for a mortgage.
Queen_Latifah69 wrote:
NTA and NEVER co-sign on someone else’s home or car. Unless you are married and it is a joint asset, this is always a bad idea. Do not listen to your parents. If your dad filed bankruptcy recently, he should be able to rebuild his credit pretty quickly.
There’s no reason he needs to buy a house so urgently that a co-signer is even needed, unless he’s trying to buy something he knows he won’t qualify for on their incomes alone… which is a stupid idea as well. Buying a house is a huge investment and it’s not something to rush.
ETA: good job recognizing that your family is bad with money and looking into it further instead of just trusting their judgment on finances lol. It’s hard to learn how to properly manage money stuff when you’re raised by people who model bad financial habits.
ladysig220 wrote:
Not only will you be on the hook if they don't pay, it will also impact your ability to ever buy a home yourself. If you already have one mortgage, the banks are not going to let you get a second one without serious financial backing, so you'll be screwing yourself over long term if you do this. NTA, absolutely stand your ground and refuse to be a part of this mess.
gCKOgQpAk4hz wrote:
Don't co-sign. As a Canadian, you are voiding your opportunity to get a first time home owner reduction for land transfer tax, first time homebuyer loan from your rrsp, void your principal residence deduction on your taxes, void your opportunity to claim the first time homebuyer tax credit.
Contrary to what others have said, the mortgage company will insist that all co-signers are on title, unlike the USA. Like others, your dad and brother can skip payments, making you liable. That is what co-signing means. Remember that no is a complete sentence and no explanation is needed.
BathroomSavings3100 wrote:
This is financial ab*se of a child. The reason neither your dad or brother can get a loan is because they have proven themselves to be a risk. They are conning you into signing for them. What do you think this is, just a quick signature?
Cosigning means they can come after you if your family defaults on the loan. They will find your bank or property or job and they will garnish/put a lien on property and ruin your credit and life. NTA. Do. Not. Cosign. This. Loan!!!!
TalkToHoro wrote:
NTA. If you cosign a loan, it is YOUR debt. You are fully responsible. Your credit rating and ability to borrow money for yourself in the future will reflect that.
Don't do it, period.