'AITA for refusing to cut off my BFF after my daughter got hurt while he was babysitting?'

"AITA for not cutting off my best friend after a freak accident happened while he was babysitting my daughter?"

So last week my 29m best friend since childhood also 29m babysat my 4 year old daughter while me and my wife Emily attended her cousin’s child free wedding, he’s my daughter’s godfather and he loves her and she calls him uncle. He’s also married with a daughter about her age and I feel safe and completely trust him with her because he’s genuinely a good guy and he’d literally take a hundred bullets for me.

Anyways he took my daughter and his to go get them candy from our local store and my daughter was excited, she ran outside to the car and got hit by a car, thankfully she’s safe and only broke her leg, he was running and yelling for her to stop before she was hit and was crying and blaming himself for it. I saw the video of it from the stores camera, it was my daughter’s fault for not listening to him.

he called me almost immediately after calling an ambulance and he was crying and blaming himself so much I barely understood what he was even saying. We obviously left the wedding and went straight to the hospital where my friend and his family were already there, he literally got on his knees in front of us and kept apologising.

I told him it was okay and she’s fine and alive but my wife was mad, my daughter was crying and in pain but the doctors assured us that she’d be fine and there likely won’t be long lasting complications or anything like that thankfully and she’d be back to normal in a couple of weeks and he said she’s a tough little kid.

My friend visited her everyday in the hospital and even got her a bunch of gifts and she loved them, my wife is still mad at him because she says it’s his fault for not paying attention to him but I say it’s just a freak accident and if anything it’s our daughter’s fault for running recklessly like that into the street.

I’ve told her many times before that she shouldn’t cross the road like that before making sure there’s no cars coming, but she’s just a kid at the end of the day. And we both saw the video, she ran outside and he was running right behind her even before she was hit.

She wants me to cut him off even for just a little while and I refuse to, I told her I wouldn’t bring him home so she wouldn’t see him for a while but I’m not going to completely cut him off, he feels so bad about it even though it’s not his fault and I’m not gonna punish him for it, my daughter is doing fine too she’s a strong and resilient kid and she still loves her uncle. AITAH?

This is what people had to say to OP:

Happyweekend69 said:

Kids get hurt, sadly thats a reality and especially when they don’t listen (and what kid do 100% of the time?) he wasn’t just letting her run crazy or ignoring her to look after his own kid. He was actively chasing her down to get her to stop, which I imagine meant leaving his own kid if he didn’t have her like football under his arm.

It was an accident, nobody meant for this to happen and he actively tried to stop her and she didn’t listen. NTA, the poor dude blaming himself enough, don’t have to crap all over him too for something he tried to prevent.

Finicky-phatgurl said:

NTA. I’m glad your daughter’s doing good! Your wife, while understandably upset, needs to get a grip. She does realize this could have happened if your daughter was with anyone, including you guys right? I get that she’s scared, her daughter could’ve died. But it was an accident. She needs to come to terms with that.

Perhaps counseling for her? Or both of you together to work through this? Taking your friend away would just be punishing your daughter.

MiserableImpact1186 said:

I can tell this is your first child. Once you get 3+ kids out, in my case 5 kids, you know full well kids are dumb, and are constantly trying to kill themselves. It could’ve happened with you, or your wife. Your wife needs to suck it up, and realize accidents happen. Don’t let an amazing, trustworthy friend go because of your ego.

Also - maybe get a lead for her, and practice walks, daily. Go over when to stop, how to look both ways, never run out into the street, etc. She’ll eventually catch on.

Commercial_Board6680 said:

To say your wife is still in shock is an understatement, so even though I disagree with her response, I fully understand. Your friend obviously feels horrible, responsible, and defeated by this, and that definitely has to be taken into consideration. Fact is, your child could've pulled this stunt with you or your wife, so would that mean you or her would be kicked out of her life?

Why parents don't use a toddler safety harness & leash is beyond my comprehension. At that age, they can't be trusted to fight their impulse control, and they definitely lack common sense.

OP responded:

Yea I know she is and honestly I am too, I cried alot and was scared, I even cried to my parents about it like a little kid the night it happened lmao, but I know it’s not my friends fault and I know that my wife isn’t thinking straight right now

Lissypooh628 said:

NTA. This whole post broke my heart. I’m so very glad your daughter is ok. Your friend must be an absolute wreck over this. I’m not exaggerating when I say I hope he seeks therapy over this. I can’t imagine having someone else’s child in my care and they get hit by a car! This is at the top of one of my worst nightmares.

You know he didn’t “let” this happen because he was being careless. Thank goodness it was in a parking lot and not a main road where the car could have been going 35mph.

OP responded:

It was in the main road but thankfully it was an old man driving and he was going slowly

Turbulent_Hold_3300 said:

I can understand where your wife is coming from but I do think she is wrong. Hopefully in a few weeks or months she will be thinking more clearly and realise it isn't your friends fault. Just make sure they have no contact and don't bring the subject up.

You married her so she must be a good person. I think she will calm down after the shock and fear has subsided. Nta. Neither is your friend and I don't think your wife is either.

lun4d0r4 said:

I'm gonna be harsh but honest here... IMO at this age this is you and your wife's fault for not teaching your child they're not allowed to try and cross the road without holding hands. You're absolutely correct it's not your friends fault and your wife needs to stop throwing blame for an accident.

And thornynhorny said:

Nta. Ask your wife if it was you that was there when your daughter got hurt would she be divorcing you? Keeping your child away from you?