"AITA for not disclosing my medical history to a stranger?"
I (F27) am an amputee. Ever since my amputation, countless people have asked me what happened to me. At first I wasn’t bothered by it and sometimes would poke fun saying a shark bit it off or some other random story. However, as time progressed it began to upset me more and more.
I would get stopped in the middle of a parking lot, stopped in a busy aisle of the store, stopped on my way to and from appointments, etc. The part that bothered me the most is that they didn’t even have the decency to introduce themselves, make small talk, or even ask me my name first.
Children are actually infinitely more respectful than these grown adults. One morning, I was outside a hotel I was in smoking. This lady came outside and immediately asked “What did you do to lose your leg?”
Mind you, it was like literally 6am. I said (verbatim): “You haven’t said good morning, hello, or even asked me my name and yet you feel entitled to my medical history? Would you like that to happen to you?” She started cussing me out and said that I was rude and a c-word etc. AITA for saying this and feeling that was out of line?
TL;DR: people always ask me what happened to my amputated leg as the first thing they say without even being cordial enough to introduce themselves or have small talk. Sometimes I tell them that it’s rude to do so and they cuss me out.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
wesmorgan1 wrote:
The world is full of rude and insensitive people, and you are absolutely NTA. Given that you seem open to joking about it, I would TOTALLY overplay it - heck, have a contest with your friends to build a list of responses:
"Well, I was sentenced to the guillotine, but the executioner got the instructions upside down..."
"...it was a dark night in the mountains outside Agrabah..."
"[loud sigh]...*$(@#(%^(@)@ ingrown toenails..."
"HOLY COW, WHERE'S MY LEG?!"
"Well...[deep breath]...there I was, rescuing a nun from an orca off the Great Barrier Reef..."
"Ever seen Jurassic Park? Damned raptors..."
...all of which can be followed with, "That's why you don't ask total strangers personal questions."
Top-Entertainer2546 wrote:
NTA. Wow, I truly had no idea that so many adults would be so rude. You response was perfect! I suppose you could come up with an array of similar responses to point out their rudeness. Perhaps a properly shocked expression and:
Why do you think it's OK to ask me such a personal question!?
I don't sleep with strangers, or discuss my medical history with them either.
Didn't your parents teach you any manners? I lost my leg, not my manners. I know exactly where I left it. Or just stare at them in shocked silence, shake your head, sigh and walk away. You are not wrong, but since so many people are so rude, I suppose having some snotty replies ready might make you feel a little less awful when you encounter these AHs.
deserae1978 wrote:
My husband has an eye patch. He has a brain tumor that has paralyzed his eye and he prefers to cover it. I cannot tell you how many people ask him what happened and also if he’s a pirate or if his wife won the fight etc. Complete strangers. It’s horrible. You’re never the AH for wanting to keep things to yourself!
FiberPhotography wrote:
NTA. Answer how you see fit. Kids *are* so much better.
Hell, one preschooler was polite enough to tell me he liked my shirt, that it was his favorite color! Before he got to the ’why the wheelchair’ question (and he dropped it once he got the answer).
OP responded:
I always just tell them that I had a bad leg and the doctors gave me a robot leg! They think that’s so cool lol
Limerase wrote:
NTA. First, I'm sorry this happened to you. You are are not a public educational display model, you're a human being. In the US, where I live, it violates the ADA, Americans with Disabilities Act, to ask invasive medical questions and to harass someone for refusing to disclose that information.
I have a disability and sometimes need a mobility aid, and anytime someone asks, I deflect with, "I'm sorry, you must achieve friendship level three before you can unlock event: tragic backstory! Your current status is: complete and total stranger! Please complete side quests and try again later!"
I still get angry people, but it I usually end up with someone laughing. Not the person I say it to, granted, but it's a funnier way to humble nosy folks.
Minimum_Practice_716 wrote:
NTA. Next time just say that you lost it in a fight after asking a stranger a personal question about their body.
PurePerfection_ wrote:
NTA obviously. And you have more patience than I do, because I'd have been making up stories about how I lost it due to getting the shit beaten out of me by a stranger who was offended when I asked them invasive questions about their medical history.
nalpona_freesun wrote:
NTA.
Next time someone asks that a good response is "how did you lose your manners?"
foozledaag wrote:
NTA. Sorry you have to deal with that. I think a lot of people feel like those who are visibly different owe them an explanation for it, or that they're entitled to have their curiosity satisfied. It's baffling to me that people like that exist, but unfortunately, they do. Keep telling them to mind their own business.