'AITA for not forgiving my sister for sleeping with my boyfriend after he made her sick?'
"AITA for not forgiving my sister for sleeping with my boyfriend after he made her sick?"
I (22M) used to date Cole (22M). We knew each other our whole lives and started dating in high school. Three years ago I found out Cole and my sister Milly (21F) were sleeping together. I broke up with Cole and went no contact with Milly. She wasn't really sorry anyway, so it's not like she was crying and begging me to forgive her. Our parents were more upset than she was and they knew it too.
Milly never knew Cole cheated on me with others too. I found out after our relationship ended and I didn't even confront him. I just got tested and was lucky to not have caught anything from him. Milly and Cole were together until Milly found out she caught something from him and that Cole was cheating on her their whole relationship. She decided to regret what she did after her life fell apart.
She reached out to apologize but I ignored her. She's already blocked and I have nothing to say to her. She can cry about her diagnosis and the Cole being an AH to someone else. Milly told everyone about what happened. My parents stood by me and said she had no right to expect forgiveness and/or a relationship with me.
But mom's two siblings are telling me how important siblings are and how I need to forgive her. They said she was so young and I should make room for forgiveness for that reason and not let Cole destroy us. My uncle also said as the older brother I should be able to soften my heart to her since it's my job to look out for her and I failed by not getting her away from Cole.
I told him to f off with that and I muted my aunt and uncle for now. Mom told her siblings to leave me alone. They said I should know better than to hold an 18-year-old's messup, that she now has to live with for the rest of her life, against her. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Iknowsomethings2 wrote:
NTA. You were betrayed. You don’t have to forgive stuff. Where was all this ‘you’re family’ when she was screwing your boyfriend
I’m glad you got away from both of them. Tell aunt and uncle that until your sister screws their partners (if not biologically related), they have no say.
OP responded:
My aunt and uncle weren't exactly rallying around me. My parents supported me though.
grayblue_grrrl wrote:
You are only a year older than her and she was "very young"? Good siblings are important. Bad siblings are therapy fodder. NTA.
Mitten-65 wrote:
NTA. I’m sick to death of this “be the bigger person crap” and forgive cause we’re “ family “ I call straight up BS!
“She was so young” she wasn’t too young to know how to ride a d*ck!!! Screw her and your aunt and uncle. And screw all low life cheaters!!
Bigolbooty75 wrote:
NTA. She’s not sorry and the fact that your aunt and uncle think it’s was your responsibility to take care of her and “failed” is absolutely disgusting and insane. It’d be different if Cole was some random dudes who gave her a diagnosis but that’s not the case. She KNOWING slept with your boyfriend and CONTINUED to do so up until her diagnosis.
Honestly keep them blocked forever. You don’t need to associate with people who places blame on everyone else. Being family doesn’t make her sitting behavior go away. I’m glad your parents are respecting your boundaries.
Cocoaalmondsrock wrote:
NTA. You are 1000% in the right.
If she hadn't gotten sick, she still wouldn't be reaching out. Screw her. She made her bed. Not that I recommend reaching out to your aunt and uncle, but if you talk to them ask them what benefit a toxic individual would bring to your life.
Ok-Analyst-5801 wrote:
NTA. You failed by not stopping your sister from f-ing your boyfriend? What's the magical age that people realize that f-ing your siblings partner is a bad idea? Respectfully your sister isn't the only family member that needs blocking.
No_Department3623 wrote:
NTA. My belief is, when a sibling betrays you like that, they quit being your sibling. Family doesn't do that to each other and you don't owe her a single thing or moment of your time.