'AITA for not caring that my kids have a better life at my house than their mom's?'
"AITA for not giving a crap that my kids have more than their step and half siblings at their mom's house?"
Jukelanniok writes:
My ex-wife and I (both in our 30s) had a very bitter divorce. She cheated on me, tried to make me take responsibility for a child who was unlikely to be mine, dropped it after realizing I would request a DNA test and end my parental responsibility if I was not the father, and then accused me of causing her miscarriage.
She also tried to ask for alimony and child support even though alimony was never an option. She did receive some child support, but since we shared 50-50 custody of our two sons, it was never as much as she wanted.
She later remarried and became both a stepmother and a mother again. The other children in that household vary widely in age. Our sons are now 9 and 11. Our sons have more than their step and half siblings because I am able to provide these things for them.
We take trips my ex-wife and her husband cannot afford, they can participate in as many activities as they want, and I happily cover the costs. My kids have a gaming room at my house. They get nice birthday parties with their friends. The works.
My ex-wife and her husband cannot provide the same, and over the past year they have become more vocal about it because the children in their home feel bad. My ex-wife asked me to include the other children in the experiences I give my kids and in the parties I throw for them. I responded through our co-parenting communication that it is better to keep everything separate, and that I am not obligated to provide for children who are not mine.
This pressure increased over the summer when I took my kids on an extended Disney vacation, followed by a second trip that included my parents, siblings, and their families. My ex-wife said it was disgusting that I would allow the disparity to continue and that I show no concern for the other children.
From my perspective, they are not my children and therefore not my responsibility, and my sons do not want to include them. However, I am prepared to be told I am wrong, since children are involved. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Ignoblekitten says:
NTA. Your only obligation is to your own children. Teach them to be humble and not rub it in the siblings faces. That doesn’t mean they can’t talk about what they have or do with you, it means don’t brag and be jerks about it. You’re not responsible for her other kids or their feelings.
MikeReddit74 says:
NTA. You’re doing what you’re supposed to do, and what you want to do for your kids. If her and her husband can’t afford to treat their kids then same way, that’s their problem.
Zelaznogtreborknarf says:
NTA. Make certain you have written correspondence of these discussions because you may eventually have to go for full custody because of the behavior of your ex.
Intelligent-Price-39 says:
Go to court to adjust child custody if she keeps this up…document everything. NTA not your kids, not your problem.