Woman confronts cheating husband after finding messages about pregnant mistress. AITA?
"AITA for not giving another chance in my marriage? And I am DONE."
Hello, I wrote a long time ago about my situation, but a little recap is I’m 29 years old my husband is 30 we have a nearly 3 years old son. We have been married for 7 years.
On July 26th 2024 I found out that my “perfect” husband is cheating on me. He argued with me for no reason what so ever so I got suspicious so I kept calling his phone till his phone opened by itself this was God's game, and I heard everything that I needed to hear.
But backstory, I started to realise that there was a shift in his personality. The way he was shown affection the way he was being towards me and that lead on to me praying to God and my grandma but let me take this fast.
I was never a good believer until recently… my grandma kept coming into my dream and telling me look I’m going to show you but please don’t let go of yourself and she showed me the girl where happens with Who when she showed me everything.
It was as if I was watching a movie in my dream. To confirm what I saw in my dream my husband told me every single detail and the details were the same as my dream.
I had a lot of therapy, I was ready to give up but he begged me, I just thought you know what I’m going to watch you. I’m going to see if you are going to fix up on your mistakes and your actions before anything.
I also spoke with the girl when the first cheating happen and she assured me that it was nothing serious. I obviously didn’t believe it. I was swearing at her up and down and she was telling me how her sister got cheated on by her husband in her bed as she knew how it felt while she was telling me this, she was actually sleeping with my husband. It’s just funny at this point.
I sat my husband down one day and I told him look honey if you’ve still got a relationship with other people if you’re planning on having a relationship with people and just not respecting this marriage I said please leave, he told me no nothing is going on. But boy was he wrong.
So yesterday was New Year’s Eve? I spent New Year’s Eve by myself at home while my baby was asleep and he told me that he was going to stay back at work and then he was gonna come home and I said to him okay? That’s fine just don’t be late.
So I done the tradition of the lentils and the 12 grapes to my wishes and my accomplishments that I want to do. And then I recorded myself on my phone talking to God I said if I’m going to cry please let me cry of happiness.
I have a terrible 2024. I want a fresh start for 2025 no sadness no stress nothing if I’m going to cry little bit today and be done with it. And that’s exactly what’s happened.
My husband came home. He fell asleep on the sofa and his phone was on. I didn’t look at his phone for about two hours but something kept bugging me telling me to check his phone so that’s exactly what I did. I checked his phone.
I went on calls and I saw my name saved as just my name And then another name saved as Baby. So I started looking at text messages so I checked and I read everything when I tell you I read everything. My heart was already broken. This was a shock but also not a shock to me. He was having a full-blown relationship with the scale still and the shocking news is she’s pregnant.
At first he denied denied, denied everything and then said yes I’ve been having a relationship with her but it’s over when I asked about the baby he said he doesn’t think it’s his she said that it’s not his but he’s not sure. So I told him right that’s fine GET OUT. I took my house keys off him. Oh I did slap him up by the way and I kicked him out.
So since 9 am this morning on the first of 2025, my world is just crushing down even more. The first time round when I found out about the cheating I was screaming I was hysterical but this time round I had a straight face on me and he saw how serious I was because I told him if I catch you or if I sense something, we are DONE.
So his been calling me a lot, but I want to tell you about one conversation I had with him. He asked me if I can forgive him and I said to him can you forgive your own actions? She said no I can’t. I said well then you got your answer.
I said for my baby for my son I’m going to keep a civil with you. I do not want you near my house I’m going to apply to get divorce. And if you are going to continue this relationship as you’ve got a kid on the way, I do not want her or the baby near my baby not in the same area not breathing the same nothing.
When the first cheating happens, I wasn’t ready to tell my sisters and today I just had to I needed the support and I needed them to be next to me and they have been wonderful.
They have been checking up on me one of my sisters put me into a hotel as I just wanted to get away from the house. I have support. But can I be honest with you guys?
I am not as upset as before yes I am crying here and there but not as much because I know that they deserve each other and I know that I deserve a lot better because I was the perfect wife that he could have as he says it too.
I was healing from the first cheating and now this one God knows how long it will take. Yes, I have tried getting in contact with her. She has not answered honestly I don’t want her to. She can have my dirty laundry. so my “perfect” husband asked if he can come home. I said no we are done I’m getting divorced and writing my own path from now on. And guess what his “upset”.
Honestly, she can have him. He was never a good husband or a good father. He is never going to be the man that she thinks he is. Do you know what’s going to happen? It’s gonna be her worst nightmare so she’s more than welcome to have my dirty laundry. So ladies and gentlemen’s wants a cheater always a cheater.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
NTA for wanting to get rid of a cheater, but can you add some paragraphs to make this an easier read? Thanks.
You’re not as upset this time around because you knew what he was capable of the level of deceit he could attain. Your subconscious was always expecting the next hit of infidelity because you knew it would happen. This is on him only him! Walk away with your head held high and your knowledge he’s basically community property now.
NTA, starting 2025 with a bang. Let that prick suffer, best wishes for you OP.
Wow that is a lot. You've been though a lot. You truly tried everything you could but when people cheat it's usually because they feel that their missing something and if they don't dig down deep and have that conversation and go to therapy and try they will reoffend. Your not wrong. He didnt want to fix anything.
Afraid-Ant4585 (OP)
Once my baby is old enough and if the baby is his dads he has a choice to know him that’s up to him. But for now to protect my baby I don’t want him near anyone. I told my “husband” that he needs to get dna tested and be there for the women and baby as I don’t have any intentions of having him in my life only as baby daddy nothing else. But thank you.