'AITA for not giving my dad’s cabin to my stepbrother because he’s 'going through a rough time?'
"AITA for not giving my dad’s cabin to my stepbrother because he’s 'going through a rough time?'"
So my (28F) dad passed away last year and left me his cabin in the woods. It’s a pretty simple place—nothing fancy, just a small cabin like 2 hours from where I live now. We used to go there all the time growing up, just the two of us. He built most of it himself and left it to me in his will.
My mom remarried when I was 15 to this guy Ken, and he has a son (Luke, 31M). Luke and I never really got along. He was always kind of smug and made fun of my dad for being quiet and “off the grid.”
My dad kept his distance, and Luke never came with us to the cabin. He actively hated going outside and once called my dad a “hermit with a hammer.”
Anyway, now Luke is having a rough time. He lost his job, his fiancée left him, and he’s currently living with my mom and Ken.
That sucks, and I feel for him, but now my mom is asking me to “consider giving Luke the cabin.” Not loaning—giving.
Her words were, “He needs it more than you. You hardly go there, and he’s trying to rebuild his life. It could give him a fresh start.”
I honestly thought she was joking. I told her flat out, “No. That cabin is mine. It was Dad’s. Luke didn’t even like him.” Then Ken got involved and said I was being heartless. Luke texted me basically saying, “I’ll take it off your hands if it’s too much responsibility.” Like he’s doing me a favor?
Now they’re acting like I’m this greedy monster. Mom won’t speak to me unless I “reconsider.” Luke made a super passive-aggressive post about “how some people only value property more than healing.”
I don’t think I’m wrong but the guilt-tripping is intense.
AITA for not handing over something my dad gave me just because Luke is struggling now?
The internet did not hold back one bit.
CurrySquirrelGirl wrote:
Seriously buy cameras as the next step will be your step-brother moves in anyway and lies to the police telling them you gave permission. Call the authorities ahead of time and/or flat out tell your Mom Luke will get his a$$ arrested if he tries to squat in the cabin. As someone else mentioned if you give it to him he will just sell it.
OP responded:
Yeah, I didn’t think it would get to that point, but now I’m kinda freaked out. Might actually need to get cameras. Not sure if cops would even care though.
gotsmoxie wrote:
NTA obviously Luke is used to being bailed out of situations. That doesn’t mean that you have to give up your inheritance. It means something to you in more ways than he could ever imagine! Stand your ground and I wish the best for you. Condolences about your dad, he gave you what he valued with love. So- if I was in your shoes, no way in Hades would I give up that cabin.
StarryEyedOwl wrote:
Send a text or email to all three of them saying no, he can’t have the cabin and he also cannot stay in the cabin and that the discussion is closed. That way you’ve got it in writing that you said no. You’ll want that evidence for when this inevitably escalates and he moves into it and claims you said he could have it. 🫤 NTA.
Kindly-Push-3460 wrote:
Your mom is kicking up a fuss because she doesn’t want him in her house. She is trying really hard to sell you on the idea of giving the cabin to him. You need to just ignore her because the cabin was a gift to you from your dad and it’s her and Luke’s dad’s job to take in her stepson.
If Luke’s dad wants him to have a cabin or an apartment or a condo, etc., and he’s feeling generous then Luke’s dad can purchase something for him. You and your dad have nothing to do with that equation.
Stock-Shake3915 wrote:
Your mom is an idiot and i hope she doesn’t have a key. You owe NOTHING to her or her stepson and I am sick to my stomach at her audacity.
You need to put in security cameras and system NOW. Make sure the company has information on all three of them }Ken included) and that they are under no circumstances allowed to trespass and to call the authorities if they show up. You need to protect what you and your Dad had together I am so sorry this is happening.also so very sorry for your loss.
Tough_Attention_7293 wrote:
For your Mom to even ask you to give it up says to me she has zero respect for you and sounds like a winner. This Luke character who you never got along with and literally made fun of your Dad and seriously has the nerve to even ask you for this is ridiculous.
You're better then me because my Mom would be put on communication hold and Luke written right off, have a nice life. My relationship would be done with my mother until she apologized and I'd write her off too in a heartbeat if I was in your shoes.
FordWarrer wrote:
Make time to visit the cabin to change the locks and post Private Property and No Trespassing signs. Cameras would be nice but if not in the budget, some security bars on the windows.
On your way in or out of town where YOUR CABIN is located, stop by the local police/sheriffs office and tell them that you’re concerned that your mothers stepson may attempt to establish squatters rights or residency rights and ask them to keep a time permitting eye on the property.
If they notice any form of transportation larger than a skateboard to please stop. This person's name is…and to please arrest him. It’s your cabin, a gift from your dad that has deep sentimental value to you. YWBTAH if you let this freeloader within 100 yards of the place.