I (31F) am have been living with my (now) ex boyfriend (26M) since the beginning of November. Let’s call him Aiden. He left his life behind and moved across the country to live with me, but he ended up dumping me on Christmas Eve.
Things have been really rough since, he has the ability to go back home but I’ve been allowing him to stay to give him time to get his stuff together for his own place with March 1 being official move out date.
Aiden started a new job after getting fired last month and I have been letting him use my electric scooter for transportation. He ran a red light and was hit, thankfully wasn’t serious enough to go to the hospital at the scene.
I sat and waited for him on the curb at home, helped him inside, and patched him up with the first aid kit. His arm was possibly broken so I urged him to go to the ER and I gave him some pain medicine and money for an Uber to go.
Here’s where I think I might be the AH. He asked me if I would go with him and I said I couldn’t because I had a couple hours of extremely important work to do that night.
Which I could NOT miss since I’ve been financially taking care of both of us on my own since he hasn’t be contributing his half for awhile now. He seemed okay to go without me and he even told me it was okay and he wouldn’t bother me during work.
It ended up being very not okay. During my work hours he started blowing my phone up with calls and aggressive texts. It was so disruptive I had to step away and when he finally answered the phone he went off about how he needed me and I wasn’t there, how serious his condition was, and wants me to come bring him stuff for the “long” hospital stay.
I was really upset and heated and after the call and just overwhelmed with the situation in the moment. With me being as shaken as I was it was impossible for me to continue my job for the night so I had to apologize to the people I was working with and cut the time short, missing out on the much needed income that day.
I went to the hospital to try and de-escalate and brought him what he asked for. While I was there I found out he lied about the severity of his injuries from the doctor and he wouldn’t be staying overnight like he told me which added to my irritation. I was really disgusted and only stayed for about 10m or so before I went back home to mend my work stuff.
An hour later, he comes home and screams at me about how selfish I am for not going with him and putting my job ahead of his needs. Completely ignoring everything I did do to help within my power and the fact I had to cancel work for him.
Aiden villainized me for not going, but I told him he should have communicated better with me. He was ADAMANT how I should have known regardless of what he said and he shouldn’t have to ask more than once for me to support him despite me having no emotional obligation to him as an ex. Its been a few days and I’m still being made out to feel like a monster for not supporting him. So AITA?
If you're covering all the rent costs anyways then it's time he moves now. Write up a 3o day eviction notice starting today and send it to him via email. Make sure you keep a copy and inform your landlord.
He needs to leave whether he can afford it or not. He is no longer your problem and hasn't been since Christmas. NTA. Also, lock down your credit. Change your passwords. Your locks. Take all the expensive jewelry etc and put them in a safety deposit box so he doesn't pawn it.
KaijuuKitty (OP)
I have had that exit plan ready for awhile to be honest due to unrelated things. I have recently served his 30 days and let my landlords know the situation. This was just unexpected thing to happen in the midst of this process. He at least has family that is willing to take him back in which honestly they would be better at taking care of him more than me considering the circumstances.
NTA. You owe him nothing. He dumped you Xmas day and needed to meet a work deadline to pay the rent he ain’t paying. Even if the accident was not his fault you did not need to sit with him in ED.
Causing the accident shows he needs to grow up and take accountability for his own life. I hope no one else was harmed by him. Time for him to move out - he can be someone else’s responsibility!
KaijuuKitty (OP)
Thankfully nobody else was injured and it was a very very minor accident. There wasn’t any damage to my scooter either besides a slight bend on the main front. It still works fine as well.
What the heck did I just read?? He dumped you, rejected you, and yet you allow him to live with you, live off you, and you support him financially??? I don't understand. Why are you allowing this angry using creep to use and abuse you like this??? Why are you not standing up for yourself?? Get him out!! Pack his stuff and throw him out, shhesh, what the heck. NTA but definitely not very smart.
KaijuuKitty (OP)
I’m more worried about the repercussions of throwing someone since I’m pretty sure he does have rights as a “tenant”. I did serve him with his 30days before this happened and he’s supposed to leave on March 1. I wanted to do it properly to avoid a squatter time of situation from happening.
Even if he had rights as a "tenant", no landlord in the world would be forced to pay for their medical bills, pay for an uber, and bring them their items in the hospital. You're being a huge pushover and he's taking advantage of you. He needs to be out of your life yesterday.
Girl, you Are being taken advantage of. This guy is manipulative, abusive and is massively taking advantage of you. You are paying for everything. He even uses your scooter (and certainly breaks it if he has an accident). He expects you to go to the hospital with him.
Abuses you verbally when you don’t. I am afraid he will now ask you to pay the hospital bill/ show him the door. And don’t do it alone. Call a friend, preferably another guy. Several would be better. Expect a tantrum too.
This guy has a broken arm, he is not moving anytime soon unless forced. He will make you cook and clean for him and will guilt trip you because he wouldn’t be in this situation if he hadn’t met you. Stick to your guns. NTA.