'AITA for not hiring my cousin at my startup? My aunt is claiming I lead him on.'
"AITA for not hiring my cousin at my startup?"
I have a tech startup and one of my aunts reached out because her son is looking for a job and has asked me to hire him. We are not close at all but since they are still family, I responded and asked her to have him message me directly so we can have a chat and have him scheduled for an interview. I did not say this exactly, though, and just responded with 'Please have him message me the soonest.'
A week has passed and he has not reached out. My aunt messages me again and says I should ping her son and tell him I am offering him a job. This is where I got a bit peeved because 1.) They are asking me for a favour, why should I be the one to reach out? And 2.) I never said I am offering him a job.
I said I am not offering him a job, but an interview, and she completely lost it. She said her son has been jobless for a year and in this economy, I should help them out. 'That is what family is for!', she says. She also then called me names and told me I am 'such a bull sh#$ter' because I promised her a job for her son and he has stopped applying since then.
She's been flooding me with horrible messages since and at this point I have no plans on giving my cousin a chance at all.
AITA? Was my response really easy to misunderstand?
The internet did not hold back one bit.
ToastandSpacejam wrote:
Absolutely not. I don’t run a startup but am the lead individual contributor for my team within a medium-sized company. One of my cousins is a student going into their senior year and my parents and aunts and uncles have been asking me if I can give them a job. Same thing as you OP, I reached out to them asking if they were interested in what my team was working on, gave a half-hearted answer.
Then I messaged him again saying we’ll be starting interviews soon and no answer. Reached out again, zero answer. I was irked and didn’t reach out again. There’s no conclusion to this yet, I’m not sure of what the family’s reaction will be, but it is annoying when you’re trying to give someone a chance but they won’t take it or acknowledge or be thankful for it. Absolutely NTA.
OP responded:
Thanks for this. She's starting to guilt me into giving her son a job, saying she took care of me as a child (I do not remember this). She has reached out to my brothers and even to my somewhat-ex-husband (which is stressing me out so much because we're currently going through counseling).
Lemon_Berri wrote:
NTA imo, I think it’s nice that you are giving him a chance to get interviewed and potentially help out. His mom needs to understand that her son should be the one to be actively pursuing you if he wants to job, and that just giving him a job would be nepotism. She just sounds upset it’s not your fault.
offroadadv wrote:
NTA, but you may yet end up one....
If you give your disinterested cousin employment after this treatment, just imagine how it could have gone had you "given" him a job he isn't willing to do.
First, he refuses to follow up. I guess this is where you are supposed to pursue an unmotivated candidate until you finally convince him to get up off his butt and take work seriously. Secondly, your twisted aunt lies to cover for her son's inept non existent response to your generous offer to provide an interview to see if the candidate is a match for your business needs.
Your aunt knows her son likely has no chance in a fair competition for jobs because of his careless attitude about taking advantage of opportunities that have come his way in the past. She also knows what the original offer was and is irate you will not let her put words in your mouth that you never spoke. Cut them both off.
No_Glove_1575 wrote:
NTA. A startup is a BUSINESS that is separate from family unless they are cofounders of investors. The fact that his mommy reached out on his behalf and he couldn’t be bothered to take any initiative is a RED FLAG and tells you all you need to know: that you should NOT hire him.
She is demanding that you give your unmotivated cousin a no-show job…so essentially, she is demanding free money, out of YOUR pocket.
Agile_Moment768 wrote:
NTA. At this point, screenshot it all and do not acknowledge them at all. All he had to do was reach out and get the interview scheduled to see how and where he could potentially fit in with your company. F#$k her if she can't relay a simple set of instructions.
2022Banana wrote:
I have worked with family twice- DO NOT DO IT!!!
Her reaction and his inaction tells you everything you need to know! Ignore her.
18k_gold wrote:
The fact you asked her to have him reach out to you and he never did. That tells you all about his attitude towards work and how he will be acting working for you. He blew his chance, which saved you a lot of headache. NTA.
wittyidiot wrote:
NTA. This conflict isn't your circus. Your aunt is pissed off that her freeloading son won't get a job, and isn't able to apply enough pressure to him to get him to move. So she's on you to try to pull from the other side. Also, just to be clear: there are few redder red flags for a prospective employee than "can't be jazzed to apply for the f#$king position."