'AITA for not including my 'sister-in-law-in-law' in the wedding morning prep?' 'She cried throughout the whole thing.'

"AITA for not including my sister-in-law-in-law in the wedding morning prep, which led her to cry through the entire wedding?"

I (26F, Latina) just got married to my husband Liam (30M), and although our wedding was overall beautiful and magical, a situation involving my sister-in-law-in-law left me feeling conflicted. I’d appreciate your perspective.

So here’s the deal. In my culture, there’s a distinction between a cuñada (sister-in-law, like your husband’s sister or your brother’s wife), and a concuñada, which in English would be something like a sister-in-law-in-law—the wife of your husband’s sibling. Let’s call mine Camille (27F).

She’s married to my husband’s older brother, Mark (32M). My actual sister-in-law Sophie (married to my brother) was there too and saw everything unfold. (Side note Sophie wasn’t part of my bridesmaids but she was included in the morning of the wedding for make up and hair cause we are a lot more closer and cause she asked me for a place to get her make up done at least 2 months prior to the wedding...

And I have the gf of one of my bridesmaids cancel but her spot was already on the contract, so I told Sophie she could be with us, besides that my brother couldn’t make it to the wedding and I didn’t want for her to feel alone).

A couple of months before the wedding, I stayed in North Carolina with my father and mother in-law and one of my brothers-in-law Jack (27). I don’t have many friends there and we were living in a retirement community, so I spent a lot of time at home.

Camille and Mark also live in NC but farther away, and since I don’t drive and I’m not familiar with the area, I didn’t invite her over. That said, on previous trips to NC, I did try to connect with her and help her with things I know are important to her professionally. We’re not close, but I always try to be cordial and respectful.

The day before the wedding: We had our rehearsal dinner after walking through the ceremony logistics. Btw the wedding was in my home country. I wasn’t really doing formal introductions—just saying hi to some of my husband’s friends I hadn’t met and introducing him to a couple of my bridesmaids.

Camille wasn’t a bridesmaid, but her husband Mark was one of the groomsmen. My sister-in-law Sophie later told me Camille was visibly upset, that no one had introduced her properly, and that she looked uncomfortable all night. She wasn’t alone, though—she was with my in-laws.

Later, Camille and Mark showed up late to the rehearsal dinner. It was raining, so that was understandable. What caught me a little off guard was that Camille arrived in athletic wear and a very bright rain jacket. The event had a formal vibe (even if not fully black tie yet), but I figured maybe her clothes got wet or she was just caught off guard. No big deal.

The glam squad situation: That night, as we were all saying goodbye, I reminded my bridesmaids about our morning schedule. That’s when Mark asked my husband Liam, if Camille was coming to the hotel to get ready with us. Liam asked me, and I said no. We had a glam team hired with a contract and a specific headcount.

And to be honest, Camille and I had never had a conversation about her getting her hair and makeup done with us. It hadn’t even crossed my mind. I didn’t think she’d want to spend money on separate glam either—mainly because I’ve been told (though I’ve never witnessed it myself) that they sometimes ask my father-in-law to pay for parts of their trips.

For example, in this case, I was told Camille went to my father-in-law insisting he book the Airbnb immediately after New Year’s or else she would charge it herself and invoice him later. My father-in-law often gives in because he doesn’t want to cause any problems.

That night, things escalated. Mark and Liam had a heated conversation where Mark said things like “If my wife isn’t welcome, then I’m not welcome either,” and that he, Liam, and Camille needed to talk—just the three of them. Without me. Which I found kind of absurd, because… we’re talking about the morning of my wedding. Why would my husband have a closed-door meeting about it without me?

The morning of the wedding: My MIL texted me the night before saying she’d be with Camille the next morning. I replied kindly that it wouldn’t be possible. I told her the schedule and the glam team were locked in and that I didn’t want her caught in the middle. I asked her to let Liam talk to his brother directly.

That morning, my FIL, one of the groomsmen and Jack came to our suite to bring pastries and coffee. They mentioned Mark was possibly not going to the hotel because Camille was so upset. Just to be clear—Mark was never not going to the wedding. He was just thinking about skipping the prep at the hotel and going directly to the ceremony.

Our photographer was arriving soon, and I didn’t want this turning into a big thing. I told my wedding planner to let Camille know that if she wanted to come for the photos, she could. Glam wasn’t an option at that point, but I was trying to meet her halfway. My husband also talked to her to say we were waiting. She refused.

She had been crying for hours before the ceremony even began, and even at the place of the ceremony, also mentioned to Jack she was not going to wear make up cause she’ll be crying all day. And when the ceremony started, she was visibly furious. She looks absolutely miserable in every single photo.

The reception: Our wedding was black tie mandatory, and Camille wore a turquoise North Face rain jacket over her outfit. It clashed with the entire aesthetic and stands out in all the photos.

During the reception, my brother-in-law Jack (our best man) gave a beautiful speech about our relationship and called me his best friend. Camille cried throughout the whole thing—but not in a sentimental way. Then she disappeared.

We had arranged a special dish for her because she has some food restrictions, and I was worried someone else would accidentally be served her plate. I asked my husband where she was and he said, “She went to the bathroom,” but the bathroom was on the opposite end of the venue.

Then Mark left to find her. When I asked the wedding planner to check on them, she said they were fighting and Mark told her they’d be back in five minutes. She gently reminded them this wasn’t the time or place.

An hour later, they left the wedding without saying goodbye to us—only to my in-laws. They missed the dinner, the dancing, and everything else. So…AITA for not including Camille in the bridal prep?

Here's what people had to say about this one:

jrm1102 said:

NTA - Camille seems unhinged tbh. She was not part of the bridal party, never was involved in any of this. She caused way too much drama.

ABCBDMomma said:

I will never understand how entitled people can be at someone else’s wedding. You were better off not having her in either the bridal prep or in the wedding party. She likely would have acted like a spoiled child no matter what you did with her. NTA.

Initial-Afternoon532 said:

NTA. Your wedding is not a group therapy retreat, and it’s not your job to coddle someone who never communicated her expectations. Camille was NTA bridesmaid. She never asked to be part of the prep.

You had a contracted headcount, and this wasn’t a last minute glam sleepover, it was a scheduled, structured morning. The fact that she sulked, made a scene, refused an olive branch, and tanked your photos and mood instead of communicating like an adult? That’s on her.

j3nnyt4li4 said:

I got married 13 years ago and did glam for my bridesmaids and the moms. My sister wasn’t in the wedding party and she had a young kid at the time so she didn’t get ready with us. I didn’t think ANYthing of it.

Fast forward to a few months later where I make a joke about her being kind of a b at the wedding — total joke — and she goes, “well yeah you wouldn’t let me come get makeup!!!” I literally had no clue how much I hurt her. First time I’d heard this in over a decade. Anyways, I don’t have a good answer for Camille but I guess excluding people from glam is a much bigger deal than I ever thought…

toriori12 said:

Camille needs to get a grip. Goodness. Like wedding planning isn’t stressful enough. Good riddance they left early. NTA. Maybe a good excuse to go low contact with her.

FortuneWhereThoutBe said:

NTA. She is basically a stranger. Of course she wouldn't be invited to all the getting ready stuff. She sounds insufferable.

Ok_Objective8366 said:

NTA. She was making a scene and was upset due to you not caving which I am so glad you didn’t. I’m sad she tried to make the day about her bit so glad you didn’t give her much of the time or attention to her. Hopefully when she pictures of herself she will be embarrassed by the way she looks.

lapsteelguitar said:

With luck, OP, you will never have much of a conversation with her again. Why would you have included her? I'm a guy, so I don't get all the female wedding prep stuff, but I thought it was for the bridal party ONLY. She wasn't part of the bridal party, she can do her own damn makeup & hair.