'AITA for telling my dad that his daughters were never invited to my wedding?'
"AITA for telling my dad that his daughters were never invited to my wedding?"
Which-Ship1977
Bit of a complicated background but to simplify it: My parents were married for 22 years and divorced 10 years ago. Had me (28M) and my three younger sisters (26, 25 and 23).
Dad was having an affair for most of the marriage and had a daughter (25) with his affair partner. Two of my sisters knew dad's other daughter from school and had bad blood with her.
Looking back it's clear to see she hated them for having dad when she didn't, because dad was never in her life. But the bad blood existed for years. When we learned of the affair and his other child it blew our family apart.
The four of us sided with our mom and were disgusted by our dad. His other daughter was pissed about him not being around and after mom kicked him out she demanded he be a dad to her. So she moved in with him. But he did not want to be with her mom so that relationship ended entirely.
My parents hated each other afterward. Dad was pi$$ed mom wouldn't stay with him. Mom was pi$$ed he cheated and made a child with someone else. Mom was the better parent of the two and dad knew he would be alone in doing the work with his other daughter when mom wouldn't stay with him.
Dad tried to make the four of us a family with his other daughter. It didn't work that way. We knew her mom and had issues with her before we found out about the affair, so bad blood deepened because we hated her mom as much as we hated our dad.
She's very defensive of that. But she was also hurt that we didn't want her, I think, and I think it was pretty obvious that we didn't want her to be our sister and didn't accept her.
I do not have a relationship with my dad or his daughter. He will call me sometimes and I don't answer. But if I see him, and he knows where I work so it happens, I won't make a scene either. Anyway, I'm getting married. I did not invite my dad or his daughter. He apparently knew I was getting married and that invites were sent out via a family member.
So he showed up at my work and decided to ask me about it since I didn't answer the phone to him. He told me their invites got lost in the mail and he wanted me to know so I could fix it and give them the details.
The family member who told him about me getting married and the invites did not give him more exact info. He said he would hate to miss the wedding because he doesn't have his invite to RSVP. I told him their invites didn't get lost because they were never invited.
He became angry and I started walking away. But he followed and told me he didn't deserve to be punished for cheating on mom when he was still our dad. He also said his daughter doesn't deserve to be on the outside. I told him neither of those things was my problem and he might be my dad by blood, but he was never a good one. He told me I'll regret shunning them one day. AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers:
jrm1102
NTA - its your wedding. You can include who you want. With that said. Your anger against your half sister does not seem healthy. She’s not responsible for how she came into this world. You don’t have to have a relationship with her and definitely dont have to invite her to your wedding but, you really seem to be blaming her for your dad’s behavior.
Which-Ship1977 OP responded:
I don't hate her. I just don't have an interest in knowing her. She's angry at us though. The two sisters from the teenage stuff and all of us for hating her mom.
Fresh_Scallion3646
I don’t think i’d want all the mess that comes with repairing that relationship during my WEDDING either lmfao. Protect your peace.
ReviewOk929
"He told me I'll regret shunning them one day."
Yeah you won't. Have a nice wedding without him or her. NTA.
NTA. Get some security for the wedding/reception and tell them to watch out for wedding crashers.
With that said I do feel bad for your half sister. She's had a rough go of it. You don't have to have a relationship with her......but maybe have a conversation with her and just explain. I don't think you hate her. I get that you don't owe her anything but maybe that'll bring some peace to her.