Bride excludes best friend from wedding after she makes a pass at her fiancé. AITA?
"AITA for Not Inviting My Best Friend to My Wedding After She Made a Pass at My Fiancé?"
Adorable_Positive956
I (F25) have been best friends with Claire (F26) since high school. We’ve been through everything together—breakups, family dramas, and countless life changes. Claire was even there when I met my fiancé, Tom (M27), two years ago. She was thrilled for me and supported our relationship from the start.
Tom proposed to me six months ago, and I was over the moon. I immediately asked Claire to be my maid of honor, and she accepted with enthusiasm. Everything seemed perfect until a month ago.
Tom and I hosted an engagement party at our place, inviting close friends and family. Claire, being my best friend, was there early to help with preparations. As the night went on and people started drinking, I noticed Claire getting unusually close to Tom. At first, I brushed it off as friendly banter, but then I overheard something that made my heart drop.
While I was in the kitchen, I heard Claire say to Tom, "You know, if things were different, you and I would have made a great couple." Tom, visibly uncomfortable, tried to laugh it off and change the subject. But Claire persisted, touching his arm and saying, "I’m just saying, you’re quite a catch."
I was shocked and hurt. This was my best friend hitting on my fiancé at our engagement party. I confronted Claire later that night, and she dismissed it as a joke, claiming she was drunk and didn’t mean anything by it. Tom apologized, saying he didn’t want to make a scene and didn’t think she was serious.
However, this incident planted a seed of doubt and betrayal in me. Over the next few weeks, I noticed Claire being more flirtatious with Tom, always under the guise of joking. I tried to talk to her about it again, but she would laugh it off or get defensive, accusing me of being paranoid and insecure.
I made the difficult decision to not have Claire as my maid of honor. I couldn’t shake off the feeling of betrayal and the fear that she might do something inappropriate at the wedding.
I told Claire my decision, and she exploded, calling me irrational and accusing me of ruining our friendship over nothing. My parents and some friends think I’m overreacting, saying Claire was just joking and I should let it go.
Now, the wedding is approaching, and I haven’t invited Claire. The guilt and doubt are eating me up. Did I overreact? Should I have given her another chance? AITA for not inviting my best friend to my wedding after she made a pass at my fiancé?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
No-Feature-8104
Soo.. say she was messing around the first time or she was drunk and said something she didn’t mean… you conveyed to her you had an issue with her behavior and it made you uncomfortable… a good friend should listen and respect your boundaries, not laugh them off and tell you you’re being insecure. I think her response to your sharing your feelings and boundaries is telling.
adorablegadget
Laugh it off and keep doing it.
GothicOtaku25
You should tell her jokes are meant to be funny and have her explain where the humor in this is. AND you can tell her she and your family can explain how "jokingly" flirting with and touching your best friend's fiance is in any way appropriate much less doing it repeatedly. Tell your family to put themselves in your shoes and how they would react to watching this happen and how they would respond. NTA.
Apprehensive-Care20z
NTA. There is no "joking", she is trying to hook up with your fiance. Going no contact is appropriate.
venomxsmoke
Nope nta. Gotta protect you & your partners relationship. My "best friend" of like 18 years said some weird shit to my daughter about my man. She told my daughter "your dad needs someone like me in his life" Haven't talked to her since my daughter told me that. Sorry, but if I can't trust you around my family, then why tf would I want you around at all???
Lula_mlb
NTA. That is NOT your friend. Those were not jokes, who laughed? She didn´t, your fiancé didn´t, where was the joke?
WinterFront1431
Claire was not joking. She's alone and see what a great guy he is. Plus these are not jokes you say to your best friends fiance. If she didn't make a move and they slept togther your family would say they knew she was like this ect ect. Block her and move on.
z-eldapin
So, you're not wrong.. I have some concerns though that Tom hasn't put his boundaries up with her? Like ' Claire. No. Stop. That's enough.'. Your "best friend" has repeatedly attempted to ruin your relationship, break your marriage up, cause you immense hurt and has sexually harassed your husband to be.
It also hasn't only happened once (which just for the record is in my opinion enough for your friendship to be over). So how many "jokes" do you and your fiance have to endure for the sake of your friendship history? Until something serious happens? That is the direction of escalation of behaviour, even though Claire is aware you know.
Your family should be ashamed of themselves. I would make sure none of these people get the bright idea to drag Claire to your wedding day as a surprise, because they worry you will regret involving her. I personally think Claire needs to be gone permanently from your life and not just for the wedding. She isn't your friend. NTA.
hollisann418
It's all joking until she "accidentally" sends nudes to your husband. It's all joking because it's not happening to the ones who say you're overreacting. Jokes are supposed to be funny. It's not funny when your best friend is trying to get with your SO.