'AITA for not inviting my mom to my wedding?' 'She hates my fiancé for being short.'
"AITA for not inviting my mom to my wedding because she hates my fiancé for being short?"
I (35F) am engaged to my wonderful fiancé - Mark (38M). He’s an incredible guy—smart, funny, and treats me with so much love and respect. The only “problem” is that he’s 5'4". I love his height, because that's a part of him, but my mom (60F) never lets me forget this. From the moment I started dating Mark, she’s made it clear that she disapproves of him because of his height.
At first, I brushed it off, but her comments have only gotten worse over time. She regularly tells me I could do “better” and that I deserve someone “taller and more masculine.” During one family gathering, she even asked me, “How do you feel about being the one who wears the pants in the relationship?” I was furious and embarrassed. We ended up fighting over it and we didn't talk for a week.
When Mark proposed, I hoped my mom would be excited and maybe even come around. I invited her over to celebrate, but instead of being happy for me, she spent the entire dinner making fun of Mark. She said things like, “Just make sure to buy a step stool for your wedding day!” It was beyond embarrassing, and I could see Mark getting sad and frustrated. She really ruined this wonderful day for him.
After that dinner, I knew I had to make a difficult decision. I want my wedding to be filled with love and joy, not my mom’s negativity, and I don't want Mark to feel bad about himself on this day. So, I decided not to invite her.
Now, she’s livid and claims I’m being unreasonable. She says I’m cutting off family over “a few height jokes” and that I’ll regret not having my family at my wedding. Mark is happy with my choice too. So, was I too harsh on my mom?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
TopAd7154 said:
NTA. Your mother is a bully. Why would anyone want their bully at their wedding? Your mother sounds awful. And fucking stupid. Being tall doesnt necessarily make you a good person. I know loads of tall, arrogant pricks.
They're for the streets. Have the best wedding day surrounded by people who love you and Mark for who you are. Be sure to return the same energy to your mother. Start making some "harmless" bully comments.
BabeMyAlice65 said:
NTA at all! Your mom sounds like a total bully, and nobody needs that negativity on a special day. It’s not just "a few jokes", she's been tearing down someone you love. You deserve a wedding filled with love and support, not snide comments. Go have your day without her drama! If she can't be respectful, she doesn't get a seat at the table. Enjoy your wedding!
Realistic-Battle-429 said:
NTA. She’s not throwing a few height jokes she’s tearing down your fiancé and your relationship. If she can’t respect him, she doesn’t belong at your wedding. Simple as that!
hip_hop_sweetheart said:
NTA - She decided to be an AH and now she's mad that she's reaping the consequences of it. Keep her bad vibes away from your special day.
Dangerous_Touch_7081 said:
NTA She f'd around and found out, she’ll absolutely ruin the day for you two either intentionally or unintentionally.
fly1away said:
NTA. Do you want her making height “jokes” at your wedding? Because she absolutely would.
Sensitive-Ad-5406 said:
"I'll be sure to tell you it's a joke if someone bullys you. You insist on being disrespectful, and I insist on only having people who support us present. Congratulations, your actions finally has consequences." NTA.