'AITA for not inviting my dad's wife to my wedding because I'm afraid of what she might do?'

"AITA for not inviting my dad's wife to my wedding?"

So we're going to call her "Karen" because in all honesty she acts like a complete "Karen". So my dad and Karen have been married just over 10 years. We've never been super close, I've always felt like she didn't really like me much. I've always just tolerated her and kept my peace and stayed friendly.

So I was married before nine years ago and she wore a white dress to my wedding. So when my brother was getting married him and his fiance said she better not wear white to their wedding. So then when I was visiting one day she had showed me the dress she was going to wear and it was an off white dress with flowers but they were very spaced out.

I mentioned it to my brother so he asked her to send pictures and my SIL and him decided they thought it was not appropriate to wear to their wedding and asked her to wear something else. She ended up calling them crying and somehow guilted them into letting her wear the dress.

The day of the wedding comes and she wore it but not even half way through the reception she changes her clothes into white leggings a blue/green top and a zip up hoodie.

So now flash forward to me getting married. We went out for dinner for my dad's birthday and we were all talking about the wedding planning and she made a comment that she can wear any color to the wedding right? I was confused and said yea as long as you don't wear white.

She said people should be able to wear any color they want like blue, green, white, etc. I told her if she wore white I'd have a huge t-shirt for her to put over it. My fiance told her if she wore white he'd get her an Uber and send her home.

A month or two later my fiance was fixing my dad's car while we were all at my brother's house. Karen was in the back yard with my SIL while my brother, fiance, dad, and myself were in the driveway. Come to find out she was in the backyard spewing a bunch of lies about me.

Karen claims that I have a key to their house, that I'm always asking my dad for money, that he hides it in the bathroom, and that I steal toilet paper from them. Mind you, they live over an hour from me so the money I'd spend in gas alone to "steal toilet paper" wouldn't even be worth the trip.

Also she doesn't work so there's no way of me knowing when she'd not be home. So I never confronted her about her lies just continued to be civil and deal with her.

So now it was almost time for us to send out the wedding invites and my dad called me one day while I was on my lunch break. He was telling me about a recent doctor appointment and just catching up in general. I was telling him how wedding planning was going.

All of a sudden she was in the background saying "she must be asking for money" my dad ended up getting mad and defended me and himself because I was not asking for money, I never ask/get money from him. He was calling her out on her lies. They got into an argument.

After that phone call I kept thinking if she's going to keep spewing these lies, what if she comes to the wedding and goes up to my fiances family and tries to tell them these lies. I finally decided she's not invited.

My dad seems OK with it although he did say that she made a comment about still showing up when she realized she's not invited. I told him if she shows up we'd call the cops. I slightly feel guilty that I'm putting my dad in this situation, I have an aunt that said I'm being disrespectful to my dad. So AITA for not inviting my dad's wife?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

SadLocal8314 said:

NTA. And I would splurge for security.

Pale-Worldliness9399 said:

NTA. This woman will absolutely find ways to ruin your wedding. Don't invite her, get security, and make sure they know what she looks like so she can't get anywhere near the wedding. Also, I'd probably password protect your stuff with vendors. Who is to say she won't try to sabotage something else just to be extra terrible?

Bonnm42 said:

NTA If I were you, I would just text her directly and say “As I am sure you know, you are not invited to my wedding. I want to make it very clear why you are not invited. 1.) I heard you that day spreading lies about me to SIL.

You like to accuse me of asking for money from my Dad when we both know that is untrue. 2.) You have a bad habit of attention seeking at weddings by wearing white. You already put a damper on my first wedding with that stunt. I’m not letting you get away with it twice, well technically 3 times when you count what you did at my Brothers wedding.

I have heard you plan to show up to my wedding despite being uninvited. If you do, you will be immediately cast out and cops will be called. I am done playing nice. You treat people horribly. Actions have consequences, this is yours. If you escalate, we will go NC with you and not hesitate to involve the authorities. This is your first and last warning.”

Princess-She-ra said:

"Karen claims that I have a key to their house, that I'm always asking my dad for money, that he hides it in the bathroom, and that I steal toilet paper from them." Is this new behavior? Not the white dress, which is just tacky and rude. But claiming you're stealing tp and dad is hiding money in the bathroom etc is very randomly specific and odd.

OP responded:

Somewhat in the last year or so. I do know she has had other instances of paranoia, blamed my dad for stealing her mail. But i think she's always had an opinion of my dad giving me money.

He did give me money for my first wedding but it was like $500 so nothing crazy but he felt the need to like hide it from her so I assume it was because she'd have an issue with it. I have heard that the paranoia and stuff could be early signs of dimension or something. It's just really hard to tell if she's just saying these things to be spiteful or if she truly believes her own lies.