'AITA for not inviting my SIL to my wedding because I was not invited to hers?'

"AITA for not inviting my SIL to my wedding because I was not invited to hers?"

I, 32f am getting married to the loml, 35m in a few months. Everything has been nothing but perfect until the guest list was finalized. We're having an intimate wedding with only 75 guests including family and friends (we both come from big fams). Although we only have 75, it still seems like a lot in terms of preparations. I also have a sister and my BFF flying from overseas to be part of my special day.

My fiance and I have talked about my FSIL (his brother's wife) and told him about what she has done with my ex nearly 9 years ago. My ex and I dated for 2 years, engaged for 1 and i found out he had been cheating on me with this girl before he even proposed. I was not in any way shape or form connected to her now that she's married to my FBIL, so i have no idea how they even met or got together.

And also, they had been together before I met my fiance, I was already in the picture when they got engaged, I was genuinely happy for them but lowkey hoping that she wont make the same mistake. I've moved on from everything that happened and even forgave them even though they didnt even apologize for what they did.

But get this, I wasn't even invited to their wedding because she "didnt feel comfortable" having me there. (This will be important later) But i respected that. They went through with their wedding without drama from me or my fiance. I was so glad that he backed me up to tell them politely that he will not sit at a table where his girlfriend is not welcome. So even he didnt come.

I felt really bad and guilty but he already made up his mind about staying with me, but i didnt know that during this time he was already planning the proposal, so he already saw a future with me to stand his ground on being on my side. And it all made sense after i found out.

Back to our wedding. My fiance and i talked about whether to invite her on ours since she "hated" being around me. From the get go he told me he supports whatever my decision is. I told him that it would just make things awkward if i invited her. She made every possible way to tell me she doesn't want around her, so it would make sense if we didnt bother putting her on the invitation.

After we sent out the invitation to his BROTHER, he called my fiance 10 mins later, but as soon as he answered, IT WAS HER that called my fiance, using her husbands phone!!!!

She started yelling and yapping about why her name is not on it, or even a +1 included. My fiance told her that it didnt make sense that she hates me but will be invited to our wedding so it was best to not out her in the invitation. SHE. WENT OFF.

My fiance didnt even need to put the phone on speaker because i can hear her screaming her lungs out just by standing next to him. She then proceeds to saying how she is his wife now and wherever he goes, she goes. I couldnt believe what i was hearing, my fiance then asked her if that was why I wasnt invited to the their wedding, because i was just the girlfriend at the time.

crickets

She kept going on about how pathetic and petty I AM for not inviting her or putting her on my bachelorette. Yet she kept giving me the impression that she's out!

My fiance is now seeing this girl for who she really is and he told me that not inviting her is for the best and we should stick to it. But what im worried about is his brother and what he would say. I dont wanna ruin their relationship and i want him to be there for his brothers special day. but at the same time this is our wedding.

And btw his brother will not be part of his groomsmen or best man because he can only be there on the day and wont be available for rehearsals, bucks night etc due to an operation recovery. Just incase yall wonder why we're only telling him now.

I just know for a fact that this girl will suck the life out of me and my fiance during our wedding, and she literally just proved it by the way she acted. So please FTLOG tell me!!! AITA? THAAAAANKYOOOUUUUU!!!!

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

SitcomKid411 said:

NTA. She sounds like a walking dumpster fire. Actions have consequences and she set the tone for the non-relationship. Have your day your way. Your finance is on board, so carry on.

OP responded:

Thank you so much! I also thought how she can act this way when she literally was the one that did me wrong. I was never mean or rude to her when i found out she was with my fiance’s brother. I even told my fiance i was thankful for what happened bc i wouldnt have met him if i stayed with the wrong person.

I was grateful for everything so I knew how to view life in a positive way. I genuinely moved on in my life but she acts like she’s still living with her nightmares. She never even apologized for being a home wrecker. So im guessing me being finally happy and loved by someone whom i trust would never cheat on me is her backfire.

Ill_Preference1536 said:

NTA Your Wedding day is YOUR wedding day. And a day for celebrating you both and your love. Why should you both have to pay to accommodate someone who's been nothing but a horrendous cow to you for the duration you've known her. The people present should only be supportive people you both love.

TravellingWench said:

People who throw tantrums to get their own way, have got their own way by throwing tantrums. She can't expect to treat you one way and for you to suck it up.

Absolutely not the arsehole, tell her she is just being treated the way she treats others.

Mytuucents8819 said:

Omg OP - her reaction IS EXACTLY SHE SHOULD NOT BE INVITED!!! Please invest in security and get your bridal party to be hyper alert - she’s nutts to think she would even be in the bachelorette! Delulu hypocrite ! NTA

Fantastic_Quarter_79 said:

Your fiancé’s brother knows exactly who he married. He was happy enough to sit back and allow his wife to exclude you (and therefore his brother) from their wedding, so your decision should come as no surprise to him…. Stick to your guns and only invite the people you love to celebrate with you x