'AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding after she tried to sabotage my relationship?'
"AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding after she tried to sabotage my relationship?"
I (27F) am getting married in two months to my fiancé, Jake (29M). We’ve been together for five years, and I couldn’t be happier. However, my relationship with my sister, Lily (25F), has been rocky for the past year.
Here’s some background: Growing up, Lily and I were very close. She’s always been the life of the party, charming, and the center of attention. I’ve always been more introverted and happy to let her shine. When Jake and I started dating, Lily was thrilled and we all got along great.
A year ago, things started to change. Jake got a promotion at work, which allowed us to buy a house. This seemed to trigger something in Lily. She started making snide comments about how I was “lucky” to have found Jake and how I wouldn’t have been able to afford the house on my own. I tried to brush it off, thinking she was just having a rough time.
Then, at a family gathering, Lily got drunk and told everyone that Jake had hit on her when we first started dating. Jake was mortified and denied it immediately. I was shocked and didn’t know what to think. Later, Lily apologized, saying she was drunk and it was just a joke. Jake assured me it never happened, and I believe him.
Since then, Lily has made several attempts to undermine my relationship with Jake. She would "accidentally" send me texts meant for her friends, saying things like, "Jake isn't even that great" and "She doesn't deserve him." It became clear she was trying to sabotage us.
When I announced our engagement, Lily's reaction was lukewarm at best. She didn’t offer to help with wedding planning and continued to make hurtful comments. The final straw came last month when I found out she told our mutual friends that Jake was only marrying me for my money (which is laughable because Jake makes more than I do).
I decided enough was enough and told Lily she was no longer invited to the wedding. She burst into tears, saying I was overreacting and that she was just trying to protect me. My parents are now involved, saying I should forgive her because "family is everything."
They want me to reinvite her and keep the peace, but I feel like I need to stand my ground. AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding after she tried to sabotage my relationship?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Fire_or_water_kai said:
NTA. Tell your parents that the whole "family is everything " goes both ways, and they're essentially cosigning her bullshit and acting like she's their only daughter. Ask them if that's how they really feel. If anyone needs to learn to keep the peace, it's your sister.
Anonymous6543217899 said:
NTA, if she’s been this persistent in trying to break you guys up, she will probably cause a scene at your wedding. It’s your day, enjoy it.
Cybermagetx said:
Nta. Tell your parents family are everything. Realtives are not. And your sister is related to you. Not family to you after how she has spent the past year plus trying to sabotage your realtionship.
Internal_Ad_3455 said:
NTA she has gone out of her way to hurt and embarrass you many times. Why would your wedding be different? If you allow her to come I would make it contingent that she have a trusted friend or family member to supervise her.
This person would be in charge of stopping any BS as soon as it started. Make it clear if she causes any issues she will be removed immediately and publicly.
Ok-Patience-8626 said:
NTA - Your sister is attempting to mess with your life out of jealousy, it's perfectly reasonable not to want someone with ill intentions at your wedding. Ask your father how he would have felt if your mother sister said the same things about him. It's all fine and let's forgive until they would be put in that situation.
Individual_Plan_5593 said:
NTA. Your sister has no reason to believe any of this behaviour would be received positively so her "I was trying to protect you" excuse is LAUGHABLE. Did your parents ever say anything/step in on your behalf or are they only now getting involved once things got this far?