'AITA for not inviting one friend to a girls’ trip because she never pays her share?'

"AITA for not inviting one friend to a girls’ trip because she never pays her share?"

I have a close group of girlfriends and we often do short trips together from time to time. One of them is fun to hang out with but she’s terrible with money. Every single trip, she "forgets" to pay someone back for gas, skips out on drinks because she’s "broke," or promises to send her share for the Airbnb and then doesn’t until we all start reminding her.

It’s never huge amounts, but it always ends up with someone covering for her and feeling awkward about asking. This year, the three of us decided to go to a lake house for a long weekend. When we planned it, we agreed that we wanted it to be stress-free, so we didn’t invite her. We didn’t lie, we just didn’t tell her.

Of course, she found out from Instagram. She texted me saying it was really hurtful and that she thought we were all friends. I told her honestly that the money issue had become a pattern and it was making the trips annoying. We didn't mind at first, but gradually it became clear she just doesn't want to pay anything at all.

She is not poor or something, that would be a different story. Now she’s saying I excluded her over money, not friendship. I just didn’t want to spend another trip being the one chasing her for another debt. AITA for leaving her out?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

rumncoco86 said:

Everyone keeps saying that YTA because you all should've spoken to her before cutting her out. Stuff that noise. She is an adult, and she knows she needs to pay her way. She isn't and is taking advantage of the fact that you all want to give her the benefit of the doubt and want to avoid confrontation. Reminding her incessantly IS the conversation. NTA.

Mvfrn1 said:

NTA - Clarify that you excluded her because of her inability to pay for all her OWN expenses when you go on trips. She is the one putting money over her friendships by not paying 1) For ALL her own expenses, & 2) Not paying back her debts immediately.

This is her own doing. She, not you, has created this problem & this is her consequence. I would also tell her that you will no longer loan her any money, no matter how small (if it was me, I’d add even if that means she goes hungry). Nothing will change unless she does without every single time.

Married-dating said:

NTA but ESH. You didn't exclude her over money but over a pattern of repeated behavior. But if she's truly your friend, you guys needed to have the discussion about it. Before cutting her out.

keesouth said:

Ultimately NTA but did you all ever have a conversation telling her that if she didn't start paying she would not be invited on future trips?

kipsterdude said:

NTA. People often will do things to see how much they can get away with. You're not playing along anymore.

3xlduck said:

Technically she is right, but it's because of her own inability to respect her friends' finances. NTA.