'AITA for not inviting my parents to my wedding after they disowned me?' UPDATED

"AITA for not inviting my parents to my wedding after they disowned me?"

So, I (27F) am getting married to my partner (28M) in a few months, and I’m incredibly excited. However, there’s a big issue with my family that’s been tearing me apart.

Growing up, my parents were very traditional and had specific expectations for me, especially regarding my career and who I should date. After college, I decided to pursue a career in the arts, which they were not supportive of. They wanted me to become a lawyer or doctor, and when I didn’t follow that path, things started to get rocky.

Things escalated when I fell in love with my partner, who is from a different cultural background. I knew my parents would disapprove, and I tried to ease them into it, but they were extremely vocal about their disdain. They told me I was making a huge mistake and that I was “throwing my life away.”

Finally, a few months ago, after a heated argument about my relationship, my parents officially disowned me, saying they no longer wanted anything to do with me if I was going to be with him. It was devastating, but I stood my ground and decided to cut ties with them.

Now, as I’m planning my wedding, I’ve decided not to invite them. I feel like it’s a celebration of love and acceptance, and I don’t want their negativity to overshadow it. However, my relatives are pressuring me to reconsider, saying it’s “only one day” and that I might regret it later.

I’m feeling guilty because I know they’re my parents, but I also believe I deserve to celebrate my love without their judgment. AITA for not inviting my parents to my wedding after they disowned me?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Similar_Corner8081 said:

NTA I wouldn't want them there. They disowned you. I think you are right your wedding is about celebrating the love you two share. Don't let the guilt get to you. This is y'all's day and you deserve to be surrounded by people who love and support you.

DMPinhead said:

NTA. Parents who disown a child should automatically expect to never hear from that child ever again. This includes weddings, births of grandchildren -- everything. You have nothing to feel guilty about. They are the ones who disowned you, and it was their decision to do that, not yours. By disowning you, they should fully expect for you to disown them.

La_Baraka6431 said:

NOPE, not at all.

HAVE THE DAY YOU WANT.

sixdigitage said:

Some things you have to be OK with having regret over. Ask yourself that question will you be OK if you have regret later that you did not invite your parents? We do not know each other. You are a complete stranger. I am a complete stranger.

However, you know your family enough and you know yourself enough if you were to advise yourself what would you tell yourself? Are you a person who regrets later?

PS: I did not invite my father to my wedding, and I have never regretted it!

And Rhyslikespizza said:

NTA. Why would a couple invite people who don’t even support their relationship, to their wedding? But faaaaamily is not a reason.

She later shared this update:

Wow, you all had some great advice. Thank you. After considering everyone’s advice, I’ve made the tough decision not to invite my parents to the wedding. I’ve realized that this day is about celebrating love and the life I’ve built with my partner, and I don’t want negativity surrounding it. I felt empowered by the encouragement I received from you guys and friends and it helped me stand firm in my choice.

However, things have taken a turn within my family. My relatives are incredibly upset about my decision. Some are trying to guilt-trip me, saying I’m being unreasonable and that I’ll regret this later. Others have even gone so far as to say they won’t attend the wedding if my parents aren’t there. It’s been emotionally draining, and I never thought it would get this messy.

Despite the fallout, I’m standing my ground. I’ve had heart-to-heart conversations with some family members, trying to explain my perspective, but it seems like some people are more invested in maintaining the status quo than in supporting me. It’s hard to see family members creating rifts over my decision to protect my happiness.

I’m feeling a mix of sadness and relief. I know I made the right choice for myself, but it’s tough to see how it’s affecting my relationships with other family members. Thanks again for your advice and encouragement. I’ll keep you updated as the wedding day approaches in two weeks!