'AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding because of her prank on my fiancé?'
"AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding because of her prank on my fiancé?"
I (28F) am getting married to my fiancé (30M) in a few months. We’ve been together for 5 years and he’s one of the kindest, calmest people I know. He’s also quite private and has some social anxiety, nothing extreme, but he doesn’t like being the center of attention, especially in unfamiliar settings.
My sister (25F), on the other hand, is the type who always wants to be the “fun one” and is constantly pulling pranks. Most of them are harmless, but some have crossed the line.
Last month at my bridal shower, she showed up with a slideshow of old, embarrassing photos of me and my fiancé, including one of him from college in a very vulnerable moment (not inappropriate, just deeply personal and awkward). She called it her “roast” of the bride and groom. He laughed politely, but I could tell he was deeply uncomfortable.
Afterward, he told me he didn’t want her doing anything like that at the wedding. I told my sister we’d appreciate her keeping things simple and respectful that day. She said, “You know me, I can’t make any promises!” and laughed it off.
That worried me. So after discussing it with my fiancé, I called her and told her we were going to keep the wedding smaller and more intimate, and we didn’t think it was a good idea for her to come. She freaked out. Said I was being uptight and letting my fiancé “control” me. My parents are furious and say I’m tearing the family apart over a joke.
But honestly, this isn’t about being uptight, it’s about respecting boundaries and making sure the day is peaceful for everyone, especially my future husband. So... AITA for uninviting my sister from my wedding because of her behavior?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
She sounds irritating. Constantly pulling pranks and being mean to people isn't "fun" it's cruel. Do not invite her. Let her stew in her mistakes.
NTA.
"Sis, if you can't make any promises, then I'm afraid then you are not invited. We want a peaceful, joyful wedding, and if you can't play your part to enable that, then you are not welcome."
She wanted to be the fun one, but weddings aren't open mic nights for boundary testing. Actions have consequences, even for the self-appointed family comedian.
I’m proud of you sweetie. You have your husband back because what she does is ridiculous. Ask her how she would feel if somebody did that to her on her big day then she might change her tune I don’t blame you at offer or if she can’t promise you did nothing‘s gonna happen to not let her come good for you. Congratulations on your wedding coming up.
She doesnt sounds fun, she sounds really annoying if this is her idea of a prank. A prank should make the prankee laugh, not just the person "pranking," that's just bullying. Banning someone from your wedding who told you outright they won't promise to not humiliate the groom is the only reasonable thing to do in this situation lol.
NTA, your sister does not respect those around her, especially you and you finance. you asked her, she blew you off, and sadly your parents enabled her to be this way. It is called boundaries, and she crossed them without any regrets. My advise, elope....
Absolutely agree, you're NTA. Your sister clearly disregarded your wishes, and that kind of behavior shows a lack of respect not just for you and your fiancé, but for your relationship and future together. You communicated your boundaries, and she chose to ignore them, which is a reflection of her entitlement, not your wrongdoing.
It's unfortunate your parents are enabling this instead of holding her accountable. Honestly, eloping might be the best way to take back control of your moment without the drama. You deserve to enjoy your wedding without it being overshadowed by someone else's selfishness.
Eloping and honeymooning sounds perfect!! If you or your family want to throw a big (informal) party (with no toasts) after you come home, you wouldn’t be singling your rude, abusive sister out for exclusion.
And then you can leave the party anytime you want as a united married couple. Remember, it’s your marriage that’s the most important thing, not your wedding. But you’re doing the right thing by protecting your husband and having his back.
NTA. Sis basically threatened another slideshow or worse at OP’s wedding. Is she a fan of that awful movie “27 Dresses” ?
NTA. It's your wedding, invite/don't invite whomever you want. You sister, with her "can't make any promises" comment, made it clear she does not care. I wouldn't invite her either. While a wedding IS partially about family, it is about the bride and groom. You both should feel comfortable at your own wedding.
Further, family isn't always blood related. Family are the people who, when you finish spending time with them, you already miss them. And when you are preparing to spend time with them, you are excited, not dreading what could happen. Family respects boundaries. Congratulations on your wedding!
NTA. I absolutely abhor pranks. If someone pulled a prank at my wedding g it would absolutely ruin my day, this is what she will do to your new husband. Good for you standing up for your partner against your family. The self appointed ‘fun’ one rarely is.
Same! I see pranks as nothing more than a form of bullying in disguise. While I know some people enjoy being pranked, and that's fine whatever makes you happy, I just feel that it's a publicly acceptable way to bully and humiliate someone and if they protest they are told "it's just a joke" or "stop being so uptight", "sensitive", or "you are getting upset over nothing/a harmless joke/prank."
When in reality if someone gets upset about a prank the prankster should be apologizing and promising never to do it again. Reality is they will do it again and if you protest you are just told " you know they only do it to get a reaction out of you just stop responding and they will stop." I always say why should I/they have to be the one to stop reacting my can't they just stop pranking people who obviously don't like them!