'AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding because she always 'jokes' about sleeping with my fiancé?'
"AITA for not inviting my sister to my wedding because she always 'jokes' about sleeping with my fiancé?"
Ok so I’m getting married in October. small, chill, nothing crazy. should be a happy time right?? Except my older sister (31F) has this thing where she constantly flirts with my fiancé (29M). Like aggressively. and it’s always under the guise of “omg I’m just joking don’t be so sensitive!”
The first time she met him, she deadass said “wow you upgraded, I’d let him ruin my life too.” IN FRONT OF ME. I laughed it off because I didn’t want to seem insecure but like. WTF??
Then she started with the “if you ever get bored of her, you know who to call” comments. Again, in front of me. I told her it was weird and she rolled her eyes and said I’m too uptight.
She has made so many little jabs. "I saw him shirtless once, damn girl you got lucky" … “if you die first I call dibs” … “too bad you got to him first lol.” Like it just NEVER ends.
My fiancé thinks it’s awkward but tries to ignore it. He’s not flirtatious back. But he also doesn’t really shut it down either. He just gets uncomfortable and laughs nervously.
Last weekend was the last straw. We were at my parents’ house and I left to grab something from my car. I came back and heard her saying (I swear I’m not making this up): “I mean... if you’re having second thoughts, I’m always available. Just kidding. Unless?”
Like. The unless? Was real. That’s not a joke anymore. That’s a goddamn come-on. I snapped. told her she’s disgusting and can’t come to the wedding. She flipped. She cried. She told my mom I was being dramatic. Now the whole family’s saying I’m “ruining the family over a joke” and she’s “just always been flirty” and “doesn’t mean anything by it.”
I don’t even care if she meant it or not anymore. I just don’t want that energy around me when I’m trying to get MARRIED! But now it’s this whole thing and I’m apparently the villain for “excluding” her and “making it a bigger deal than it is.” AITA for uninviting her or is this actually insane?? Because, at this point, I feel like I’m losing it.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
NTA. why would you ever make comments like this about someone’s significant other?? especially in private to him with you not around. instead of admitting her wrong, she continues to gaslight you into believing you’re insecure/overreacting. ultimately it’s your wedding and if she can’t respect you and your boundaries then she doesn’t have to be there.
EstelleTrace (OP)
She disrespected me, and I’m her own sister. That says everything I need to know. Thank you for your comment, seriously it means a lot.
Not inviting her ass is the best thing you can do she’s the type in my opinion that will try to outshine you on your big day, i get she’s your sister but damn i would never do that to any of my sisters that’s so disrespectful!
NTA your sister is making a play for your fiancé and would like nothing more than to bust up your relationship so that she could have him. There is nothing wrong with you setting strong boundaries and your parents need to have a come to Jesus talk with your sister about her behavior and stop enabling her.
Exactly, and the fiancé is likely not saying anything to avoid making waves, but the sister is just an ass. She’s trying hard to come between them. She’s calling it a joke, but if no one is laughing, what’s so funny about it? She clearly has no respect for her sister.
heres the truth, the sister fancies her sisters bf. how would she react if it were other way round.? seen too many fights and betrayals on social media that these jokes and feelings, can ruin lives. if i were in a situation like this id never bring a girl home, as its always a recipe for ruination. my advice go no contact.
“Just kidding… unless?” is predator energy, not playful sibling banter, good on you for setting a boundary.
NTA, and this is a classic case of FAFO for your sister. For your family members coming after you, ask them to explain "the joke" and why it's funny. Watch them squirm trying to explain. And if they keep hammering on, 1) ask them if they'd be okay with their sibling/a close friend saying the exact same thing to their spouse, and 2) uninvite them too.
She’s definitely testing the waters. Next time there’s going to be her bikini bottom and top floating in it. You did the right thing!
NTA Doubtful these relatives would think her actions funny if the so-called jokes were directed toward them. Keep your peace, stick to your decision. If your relatives boycott your wedding, shame on them. Someone should have shut down her antics years ago.
She's trying to pass them as jokes, but she really thinks she stands a chance. It's your wedding and I'd tell anyone who didn't like it to not come as well as all you need is you and your fiancé there.
NTA. Omg she openly wants to sleep with your fiancé. She’s not joking, she’s testing the waters. Don’t invite her to the wedding or make her apart of your life, since she’s so okay with disrespecting you.
I don't understand your family. Are they saying that it's ok for someone to overstep their boundaries all the time? Your sister is clearly OUT OF LINE and she's disgusting. The rest of the family is choosing to enable her inappropriate behaviour, then they should be free to not come for the wedding too.
What I also cannot understand about weddings in this sub is that, if people I invited are not celebrating my union with my partner, then why are they even invited? Because history, family ties, politics??
Your sister FAFOed and is now crying about it. Stand your ground. If nobody else is holding her accountable, you can be the ELDER SISTER AND TEACH HER ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES. What a cry baby. NTA. Updateme.