'AITA for not leaving a family gathering at my parents' house after my mom got sick?'
"AITA for not leaving a family gathering at my parents' house after my mom got sick?"
Me and my mom had set up a dinner on Saturday at her house, these are always very chill dinners, everyone helps out prepping the dinner and then we all eat and then help with the clean up afterwards.
I was actually the one to suggest this dinner because for the past week I've been kinda sick with gastroenteritis and I've selfishly craved my mom's home cooked meals, something light and not to have to do it myself. And of course my mom rarely ever refuses because she enjoys having us around.
But apparently on Saturday after lunch she got really sick, started throwing up, cold sweats, stomach ache, just either something bad she ate or her digestion stopped abruptly. Her afternoon was rough but we didn't know any of this.
I only knew about it when at 5pm, when we (me and bf) were set to leave, my mom sends me a text to come early so I could help her make dinner because she was sick. I said okay, that we were leaving anyway so it was fine. My brother and his wife were apparently already there, my mom hadn't even warned them that she had gotten sick.
But they have a 8-month-old so them helping was really not on the table. When I got there, my mom had gotten worse, was laying in bed. I hesitated for a bit, but I thought okay I'll make something and we can eat it here even if my mom is upstairs and can't make it. So that's what I did, I made some soup and a quick pasta with whatever was in the fridge.
I tried asking my dad for opinions but all he said was like "we shouldn't even be doing this", basically implying that everyone should go home. But I was thinking "okay everyone needs to eat, even my dad, and even my mom when she gets better, so what's wrong with already prepping something if I am already here?"
Anyway, the dinner prepping went totally fine, I made it all myself. It was when we started to eat that was the problem. I ate some leftover soup that my mom had in her fridge and immediately fell sick again (and coming off of gastroenteritis) this was not pleasant at all, I threw up, had the runs, threw up again, basically couldn't keep anything in my stomach for a while that night.
Everyone else had a pleasant evening though. My mom even got better, and joined us eventually and helped me in the bathroom when I was throwing up. It was a whole mess. But my brother, his wife, my boyfriend and my dad all had the food and everyone felt fine and the food was good, they said. Even my mom was back downstairs in good spirits after a while.
Anyway the reason for this post was that my dad got like super mad at my mom for not just cancelling dinner and telling us not to come in the first place. He basically didn't speak to her for the whole day afterwards.
I feel a bit responsible because I was the one making dinner and basically trying to "force" everyone staying but I was good-intentioned, I just figured that everyone had to eat anyway so what did it matter if the hostess was feeling unwell?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
sorrycity7809 wrote:
ESH. Everyone here sounds nuts.
OP responded:
Wait why though???? I genuinely don't understand. Like obviously we would not have come if we had known my mom was sick beforehand, of course when someone is sick they want to left alone and not have to entertain people at their house. But my mom didn't warn us, everyone was already there.
We had two options, either leave or just prep something and have a dinner anyway, so I chose the latter...why is that so awful? When my mom was feeling a lot better and she came downstairs, she had some soup that I had made. If I had not made it, she wouldn't have anything to eat? So I was thinking that at least she would also have something to eat when she felt better?
ImpossibleReason2204 responded:
"Obviously we would not have come if we had known my mom was sick"
So as soon as you found out you should have gone home.
By-Ysmr wrote:
ESH apart from the 8-month-old. You're passing stomach bugs back and forth like it's Christmas and you all don't think to cancel until everyone is better? With a baby there?? Your dad should have kicked the lot of you out.
that_illustrator240 wrote:
NTA but Your dad might be. He needs to learn to use his words. If he wanted you to leave he should have just said so. I hope your mom enjoyed your efforts and the quiet of having your dad not speak to her.