I recently got married and wore a beautiful wedding dress that my wife custom-made for me. It means a lot to me because she put so much love and effort into it. A few weeks after the wedding, my sister, who is getting married in six months, asked if she could borrow my dress.
My sister and I have a fairly good relationship so it wasn't anything personal when I politely said no and suggested we go dress shopping together to find her something nice.
My sister was furious and called me selfish. My parents sided with her, saying I should share because we’re family. They argued that since she liked the dress so much, I should let her borrow it for one day. They called me a hypocrite for always saying I don't care for inanimate objects but still holding onto the dress like this.
Even though they pressured me, I stood my ground. The dress means a lot to me, and I want to keep it safe. Now, everyone is calling me an ahole, and my sister is barely speaking to me. I feel bad but also think I have the right to say no. So, AITA for not lending my sister my wedding dress?
Foreign_Plan_5256 said:
NTA. Your family is overreacting. Good for you for holding your ground. Suggested script: I don't care for inanimate objects but this was an incredibly loving gift from my wife. It is different.
I will not be sharing or lending it, nor will I continue to have conversations about it. If you bring it up again I will (hang up the phone/ leave room/ go home). And then do so. Good luck!
dr239 said:
NTA. There's a difference between, like, borrowing a sweater for a night out, and borrowing a wedding dress that your spouse custom made for you. It's clearly a very special item and special memory for you, and she had no right to get mad.
saintmada said:
NTA. It's YOUR wedding dress. They didn't pay for it. They're not obligated to it. It's not custom-made for your sister, it's custom-made for YOU. How does your family think they have the right to it?
fallingintopolkadots said:
NTA. Everybody knows that a wedding dress isn't just any dress. It's your wedding dress, and if she wore it, even just for the one day (because that's the same as most weddings after all), it'll feel to her like her wedding dress...especially if it has to be altered at all to fit her.
Woden2521 said:
NTA. It’s a handmade dress not a store bought one. For you it could be a family heirloom. I’d explain it like that and if they don’t like it then that’s their problem.
VThaddeusToadEsq said:
NTA. Your wife made you that and it holds immense sentimental value. You have every right to treasure and keep it safe for you and you alone. Demanding someone else's wedding dress is pretty audacious. Does your family always back her up in this type of nonsense?