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'AITA for not letting my 6'6" brother have the first class upgrade the airline gave me on our 12 hr flight?'

'AITA for not letting my 6'6" brother have the first class upgrade the airline gave me on our 12 hr flight?'


"AITA for not letting my 6'6" brother have the free first class upgrade the airline gave me on our 12 hour flight?"

We are at the beginning of my dad's retirement family trip. He is paying for all of us to meet as a family in Hawaii for a week since he is retiring after working at the same company for 42 years. There are six of us but my brother and I live in the same part of the country.

I guess it's relevant to say I am 5'1" and my brother is 6'6". I fly all the time for work and have quite a bit of status with the airline for which my dad bought our tickets. This is what happened way earlier today. We were all boarded and ready to go when a flight attendant came up to me and whispered that they had a first class passenger not show up and they needed the coach seat to accommodate a standby passenger.

She said I had by far the most status of anyone on the plane so they were willing to move me to first class for free. I was like oh yeah--and I took it in a heartbeat. I told my brother I'd see him in 12 hours and let me know if he wanted any food or drink and I grabbed my stuff and moved. Needless to say I had a nice flight.

When we landed and were waiting for our shuttle my brother was so pissy but wouldn't tell me what was going on. He didn't speak to me the whole shuttle ride. We had a nice hello with the rest of the family but after I got down from my shower my mom took me aside and said what I did "was awful." I asked her what she was talking about and she said that I should have given my brother the seat. I thought that would be the end of it but all 5 of my siblings and my parents are upset with me and the vacation is off to a very rough start.

I was trying to play with my niece and nephew in the lobby waiting for lunch and my sister said "no they only like to play with people who give a shit about their family--what were you thinking?"

I asked her if this was about the first class thing and she said "what do you think its about?" I said that he never asked me to switch with him, she said "an ahole makes people beg, family members don't." I've been by myself since brunch and not having much fun. AITA?


Wow this totally blew up, thank you for commenting everyone. I only saw my family for a little but yesterday and they were still made at me to varying degrees. I have a really good friend that lives here in the military so she hung out with and we met some really fun and cute guys at a dive bar. So my vacation will be great no matter what. But reading your comments really gave me to confidence to not give a crap (or try to at least!) thank you.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

BetAlternative8397 said:

Had something happen to me years ago on Air Canada. Vancouver to Toronto red eye. Flying with adult daughter and got tagged for upgrade. I asked about letting her fly up front instead and was told the seat is only available to the status holder. I was exhausted from a week working away so I took it.

No one shamed me for it. NTA. Your brother was getting a free vacation and being jealous of your status was rude. And ill informed. Too many people think the life is road warrior is all peaches and cream. It isn’t.

Fearless_Ad1685 said:

NTA but you sure have a family of them. Your status got you the offer. If you declined it, it wouldn't have gone to your brother anyway. No reason you should have turned it down just to stay in coach with your brother. Try to explain it to your family but none of this makes you an ahole.

No_Cheetah4762 said:

NTA. I'm a foot taller and 150 pounds heavier than my wife, who has MVP Gold status due to work travel. When we're flying together and there's only one upgrade, she gets it because she's the one that has to deal with airlines and airports 20 times a year. I've never once considered asking her to give it to me. It's her perk. Your family is weird for taking offense as a group over a seat on a plane.

Stranger0nReddit said:

NTA. You earned your status by flying so frequently for work. Your brother did not, he's not entitled to YOUR upgrade YOU earned. I'd also argue that if you're flying that frequently, you deserve first class every once and awhile.

I honestly think it's shi%ty your whole family has sided with your brother. If they are SO concerned with his comfort they could have all chipped in to ensure he got a seat with more leg room in first class.

hubertburnette said:

I hate when people spend other people's money. You earned those points by flying. Giving the upgrade to your brother amounted to giving him A LOT of money. NTA.

happyprince22 said:

NTA. You earned the points that sent you to first class and he’s turned the entire family against you over one flight. especially the kids..? How old even are your niece/nephew? It makes no sense to isolate them from you over a flight. They’re being outright cruel to you.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this family?

Sources: Reddit
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